# Smokers; would you date someone who doesn't? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 16, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044 "2002-12-16T07:40:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/1 "2002-12-16T07:40:26Z")
I was just curious about this becuase I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and she said she wouldn’t becuase she would feel too self conscience about it. This stuck me as kind of odd becuase I went through a 2 year stint where I didn’t smoke but I still dated several girls who did and it never really bothered me but I guess thats becuase I’ve smoked before. and yes I realize how stupid I am for picking back up the habit after two years of abstinence. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/2 "2002-12-16T07:50:17Z")
wouldn’t bother me as long as it was after the sex…😉 ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/3 "2002-12-16T07:56:03Z")
oops, guess I read that one backwards, huh guess I’ve been reading too many anti/smoke threads lately in that case, I’d just have to work a little harder … there’s gonna be some smoke one way or another. Seriously, my wife doesn’t smoke. I smoke cigars (a couple a day), if you call that smoking. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/4 "2002-12-16T08:11:16Z")
I was a smoker when I met Mr Cazzle, and he was a non-smoker (and a “never even tried them” non-smoker at that). After three years together, I quit smoking. The fact that he was a non-smoker helped me to quit, it would have been much harder if he had been smoking around me or even trying to quit with me. ---
**Author:** ![iconoplast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@iconoplast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iconoplast)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/5 "2002-12-16T08:43:48Z")
Only if they agreed not to constantly harass me about smoking, unlike almost every other non-smoker I’ve dated. I don’t get in relationships to have my life choices criticized. As of now, my SO smokes, but if one of us quits before the other I’m not sure what we’ll do. It’ll be awkward, to say the least. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/6 "2002-12-16T08:46:17Z")
I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating a non-smoker. I too would be a bit self-concious about it, I think. Furthermore, I wouldn’t date someone who smoked but wanted to quit. I just couldn’t handle smoking in front of someone who was honestly trying to quit, and I know damned well that I personally have no intentions of following suit. Besides, I like being able to lay around and smoke and talk to someone when I’m dating them. If I were the only one smoking, I don’t think it’d be as much fun. ---
**Author:** ![BrattiAtti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c57346/32.png) [@BrattiAtti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrattiAtti)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/7 "2002-12-16T11:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iconoplast \* > \*\*Only if they agreed not to constantly harass me about smoking \*\* Yep. **freesok** doesn’t smoke. The second day of our relationship I told him that bitching about my smoking was a no-no. So far, he’s only mentioned it a few times, and that’s only because of the tax increases. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/8 "2002-12-16T11:55:06Z")
I smoke, and it is dating another smoker that worries me. I am seriously, if unsuccesfully, trying to quit. I don’t think I would be able to if I was hanging around someone who smokes. Nor would I feel comfortable putting limitations on someone elses choice. Of course, that leaves the non-smoking ladies to date - none of whom want anything to do with me because I haven’t managed to stop yet. Ah well. My ex-wife didn’t smoke when we got together. After about a year of living together, she took it up. I had a hard time understanding that. At 40, she starts to smoke? And there’s some guilt there for me. So maybe the lesson is that I should not date a smoker or a non-smoker. ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/9 "2002-12-16T12:03:52Z")
Right now I’m seeing a guy who doesn’t smoke, and so far it hasn’t been a problem. Despite finding the smell of smoke a turn-off, he says that he’s never been able to detect it on me or my clothes, and therefore it’s OK with him. Of course, I don’t smoke in his flat, and prefer to go outside anyway. Like **BrattiAtti** , I did say at the beginning that the issue was NOT open to debate. Luckily for me, he accepts the fact that I smoke and isn’t interested in trying to change me. That’s our way of doing things in general, though - we recognise that we both have our flaws, and just learn to live with them. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/10 "2002-12-16T12:07:37Z")
I did in the past. I felt quite sorry for the non-smoker (as well as envious that she was free of the weed), but she was prepared to put up with my disgusting habit, so it didn’t bother me. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/11 "2002-12-16T12:14:12Z")
I no longer smoke, but when I did I dated smokers and non-smokers alike. If the non-smokers had a problem with my smoking, they were free to stop dating me. Frankly, I don’t recall ever worrying about it. ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/12 "2002-12-16T12:22:25Z")
I was a smoker when I started dating dragonboy, and I still smoke today. He doesn’t bother me about it, but he doesn’t like it, he’s worried about my health though. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/13 "2002-12-16T15:09:43Z")
I dated a non-smoker and it was kind of a drag sometimes, but we saw each other for a couple years. Currently, my husband and I both smoke like it was our jobs. My son hates it. ---
**Author:** ![iconoplast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3d9bf3/32.png) [@iconoplast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iconoplast)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/14 "2002-12-16T19:57:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > I dated a non-smoker and it was kind of a drag sometimes… That’s got to be one of the worst puns I’ve seen in quite a while. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/15 "2002-12-16T20:14:54Z")
I am not only dating a non-smoker, I live with him too. He would really like me to quit. I’m seriously thinking about doing it soon. I have tried a lot of things to quit - including the gum, the patch, hypnosis…nothing has worked for me, yet. ---
**Author:** ![Mephisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mephisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mephisto)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/16 "2002-12-16T20:24:54Z")
I smoked heavily for fifteen years, dated a few non-smokers in that time and married one of them. It was never a big deal to me, nor to any of my girlfriends. ---
**Author:** ![jellen92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@jellen92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellen92)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smokers-would-you-date-someone-who-doesnt/143044/17 "2002-12-16T20:31:52Z")
My boyfriend and I both smoke and are in the process of quitting… together. We decided we both have to do it together which was a huge committment to me. He has been wanting to quit for a long time but I _finally_ decided I’d do it with him. It’s been about 17 hours since my last smoke, not too bad, just hoping the withdrawal symptoms don’t kill me. I used to date a non-smoker and it didn’t bother me, it just made me smoke much, much less than normal which was good I guess.