# Smurf village destroyed by UNICEF **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 10, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594 "2005-10-10T16:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/41 "2005-10-12T22:20:49Z")
“Let’s Smurf the village! The whole Smurfin’ Village!” ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/42 "2005-10-12T22:44:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Philippe Henon, a spokesman for Unicef Belgium, said his agency had set out to shock, after concluding that traditional images of suffering in Third World war zones had lost their power to move television viewers. You know, he’s right. You see so many images of real bloodshed and violence that it kind of loses its impact and you just go numb after a while, but you see it happening to the _Smurfs_…I mean, it really makes you think, you know? I always thought at least _they’d_ be safe, but if it can happen there, I mean, wow. This has really turned me off of bombing babies. I was always kind of on the fence about it until now. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2005, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/43 "2005-10-12T23:02:00Z")
“Smurf Village. Smurf. I’m still only in Smurf Village.” “You smell that? Do you smell that? Smurfberries, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of Smurfberry Crunch for breakfast. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for twelve hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didn’t find one of ‘em, not one smurfin’ smurf body. The smell, you know that artificially sweetened corn smell, the whole hill. Smelled like - victory.” “Charlie don’t smurf!” -from _Smurfpocalypse Now_ ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/44 "2005-10-13T04:40:11Z")
The irony, of course, was that the Smurf village actually _was_ harboring vicious Snork insurgents. (Many of whom have backing from Al Moligans.) ---
**Author:** ![Aguecheek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Aguecheek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aguecheek)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/45 "2005-10-13T04:45:15Z")
**buddabuddabuddabudda** Git some! **buddabuddabuddabudda** Git some! **buddabuddabuddabudda** …Anyone that runs is a Smurf! …Anyone that stands _still_ is a well disciplined Smurf! ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/46 "2005-10-13T07:07:52Z")
Heh, is it bad that I laughed at the sight of the smurf in the background running around looking at his burning hat? (those ARE hats, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/47 "2005-10-13T08:29:48Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Heh, is it bad that I laughed at the sight of the smurf in the background running around looking at his burning hat? (those ARE hats, right?) A minute ago, it was his best friend’s smurf! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/48 "2005-10-13T12:13:20Z")
If it smurfs…we can kill it. You’re smurfed, man! Ain’t got time to smurf. Remember when I said I’d smurf you last? I lied. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/49 "2005-10-13T12:52:46Z")
“Smurf them all. Let God sort them out.” ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/50 "2005-10-13T16:00:30Z")
In the valley of the smurfs, I’m the meanest smurf in the vallARGHHHH! The rest is silence. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/51 "2005-10-13T17:14:29Z")
> [@marque elf](#): > > Oh, the smurfanity! That is smurftastic! ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/52 "2005-10-13T18:18:30Z")
“…we shall defend our Smurfland, whatever the cost may be. We shall smurf on the beaches, we shall smurf on the landing grounds, we shall smurf in the fields and in the streets, we shall smurf in the hills; we shall never surrender!” “Gargamel knows that he will have to break us in this Smurfland or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Smurfland may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the United Smurfs, including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new Dark Age made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted Smurfing. Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the Smurfish Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest Smurf.’” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/53 "2005-10-13T18:39:24Z")
Four score and seven years ago our smurfs brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all smurfs are created equal. ``` Now we are engaged in a smurfy civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so smurfed, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to smurf a portion of that field, as a final smurfing place for those who here smurfed their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and smurfy that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not smurf—this ground. The brave smurfs, living and dead, who struggled here, have smurfed it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we smurf here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unsmurfed work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly smurfed. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these smurfy dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of smurfdom—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under Smurf, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the smurfs, by the smurfs, for the smurfs, shall not perish from the earth. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/54 "2005-10-13T19:01:00Z")
On my command, unleash SMURF! ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/55 "2005-10-13T19:21:23Z")
“Mr. Brainy, make it smurf.” “Prepare for smurfburst!” “How you smurfin’?” I’m officially exhausted of Smurf jokes now. E. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/56 "2005-10-13T19:33:58Z")
Quotes from William Smurfspeare: To smurf or not to smurf. That is the question. Once more into the smurf, dear smurfs. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. Lend me your smurfs. Oh, that this too, too solid smurf would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. Of that the Everlasting had not fixed his canon against smurf slaughter. Now is the smurf of our discontest, made glorious summer by this smurf of smurfs. Goodnight, sweet smurf. And flights of smurfettes sing thee to thy rest. The quality of smurf is not strained but droppeth from the heaven like the gentle rain. What a piece of work is a smurf. Smurf. Smurf. Why art thou smurf? Is this a smurf that i see before me? When shall we smurf again? In thunder, lightning or in rain? I’ll stop now. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/57 "2005-10-13T20:33:37Z")
Once more into the breach smurf friends, Once more, or wall it up with your smurfy dead. I am in a world of Smurf. I wouldn’t Smurf you man your my favorite Smurf. FOR THE SMURFY FOURTH! We were Smurfy once and young. I will leave you as you left me. Smurfy alive, Smurfy alive in the middle of a smurf planet. **SMURF!!! SMURFFFFF!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/58 "2005-10-13T20:33:49Z")
Cry, ‘Havoc!’ and let slip the smurfs of war. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/59 "2005-10-13T20:41:00Z")
His methods have become, un-smurfy. We want you to travel up the river and smurf his comand. Smurf it, with extreme smurfiness. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594/60 "2005-10-13T23:12:36Z")
> [@](#): > > “I won’t be smurfed, I won’t be insulted, and I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do those things to other people and I require the same of them.” (John Wayne, the Shootist) 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurf-village-destroyed-by-unicef/325594.md?page=4)