# Smurfs keep getting away. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 9, 2006, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755 "2006-02-09T22:35:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/1 "2006-02-09T22:35:25Z")
My husband has decided to take me out to dinner tonight, so he calls me up and tells me to be ready to go when he gets home from work. Okay. First thing I think I should do, after getting my chores done, is to remove the Seahawk-blue coloured nail polish I was wearing, and apply a subtler shade. I go to the bathroom and get the polish remover, only to see that it is almost empty. “Ah, well, I’ll work with what I’ve got,” I think. The thing is, this particular shade is tough to get off. It’s kind of a blue chrome colour. It’s smearing all over the place - my nails and fingers are stained blue. “Damnit,” I think. “I don’t have enough nail polish remover to clean this mess up. Time to scrub!” So, I take my good old soap, water, and a washcloth, and begin scrubbing away. As I am doing so, my doorbell rings. I grab a hand towel and head to the door. It’s the UPS guy! Yay! He has the gift I bought for my husband for our anniversary next week. Yay! Now if I’ll just sign here, he asks of me… My hands come out from under the towel, and I take the electronic pen thingy in my blue-stained fingertips. He stares. “Uh, ma’am?” he asks, tentatively. I look up at him. “Hmm?” I say. “What happened to your _hands_?” He sounds almost horrified. Without thinking, I pop out with, “Smurf got away.” Now he _looks_ horrified. I felt the need to reassure him. I held up my blue fingers. “Don’t worry. I caught him.” As I do this, I see that there are also some pretty impressive cat scratches on my hands, too, that I hadn’t really noticed before. Well, damn. That smurf was trouble. He purses his lips, and I can’t tell if he’s going to laugh, or if he believes he’s just encountered his first, real, true-to-life insane person. He turns and walks down the steps. “'ve a good day, ma’am,” he says, high pitched. I take the package into the living room, and suddenly, through my open windows, I hear laughter. Uncontrollable laughter. I peer between my blinds and see the UPS guy, on his phone, laughing and laughing and laughing, with his face in his hands. Or maybe he was crying. I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/2 "2006-02-09T22:46:45Z")
That is exactly the type of brilliant line I wish I could come up with on the spur of the moment – you have my admiration! I’m thinking you need to put something on your front door, like a number of smurf images with red Xs through them, for the next time the UPS guy comes around. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/3 "2006-02-09T22:48:16Z")
HAHAHA!! Brilliant! I bow to your superior wit. _bows_ ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/4 "2006-02-09T22:51:36Z")
i like the smurf-smasher idea, asimovian. what smurf was it, ana? …feral smurf? ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/5 "2006-02-09T22:55:46Z")
It was one of those evil _g’nat_ smurfs. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/6 "2006-02-09T22:58:17Z")
I’m doing both - laughing so hard I’m crying! My nickname in HS was Smurf (blue uniforms, white hats, I was short, and it was the 80’s - someone was going to think of it), and most people who know me would agree that I’m trouble. I’m going to have to calm down before I drive home - that was hilarious! ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/7 "2006-02-09T22:59:47Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > I’m doing both - laughing so hard I’m crying! > > My nickname in HS was Smurf (blue uniforms, white hats, I was short, and it was the 80’s - someone was going to think of it), and most people who know me would agree that I’m trouble. > > I’m going to have to calm down before I drive home - that was hilarious! That should have read “…(blue BAND uniforms, white hats…)” ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/8 "2006-02-10T00:12:46Z")
> [@Anastasaeon](#): > > It was one of those evil _g’nat_ smurfs. Sorry to disappoint you. The [ones](http://www.bulledair.com/catalogue/catalogue1/schtroumpfs1.jpg) going _gnap ! gnap !_ were the black Smurfs (or Schtroumpfs). ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/9 "2006-02-10T00:16:55Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Sorry to disappoint you. The [ones](http://www.bulledair.com/catalogue/catalogue1/schtroumpfs1.jpg) going _gnap ! gnap !_ were the black Smurfs (or Schtroumpfs). Pfft. Shows what you know about smurfs. They’re _all_ like that. Like blueberries: the blue rubs off and they’re all black underneath. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/10 "2006-02-10T00:42:02Z")
I have tears in my eyes from laughing, and so does my husband! ::applause:: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/11 "2006-02-10T00:58:36Z")
**Anastasaeon** , dear Lady, if ever your husband neglects you, I shall marry you in an instant, if only for that one joke. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/12 "2006-02-10T02:02:43Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Sorry to disappoint you. The [ones](http://www.bulledair.com/catalogue/catalogue1/schtroumpfs1.jpg) going _gnap ! gnap !_ were the black Smurfs (or Schtroumpfs). Just based on that, it sounds like **Anastaseon** had a go-round with the common schtroumpf bleu. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/13 "2006-02-10T03:08:28Z")
From the description, it sured looked like _Smurfus communis glaucus_. Of course the tell-tale sign would have been the sexual repartition of the population (ratio of 99 males to 1 female). ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/14 "2006-02-10T03:57:55Z")
**Anastasaeon,** I loved that! What a hoot! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/15 "2006-02-10T05:55:07Z")
Funny stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/16 "2006-02-10T06:15:54Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Just based on that, it sounds like **Anastaseon** had a go-round with the common schtroumpf bleu. i dunno, it sounds like she bleu many smurfs if she’s rubbed the blue offa em ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/17 "2006-02-10T13:31:03Z")
One of my friends went into work, and a co-worker had an incredibly dry, raspyy voice. “What happened to _you_?” he asked. “I’m possessed,” she replied, in her Regan/Pazuzu voice. Reallyu fast comeback. I’m impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/smurfs-keep-getting-away/343755/18 "2006-02-10T17:55:50Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Sorry to disappoint you. The [ones](http://www.bulledair.com/catalogue/catalogue1/schtroumpfs1.jpg) going _gnap ! gnap !_ were the black Smurfs (or Schtroumpfs). The “g’nap” Smurfs were purple by the time they made it to the TV show.