# Snake-handling pastor dies of snakebite. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 16, 2014, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489 "2014-02-16T19:47:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8baadc/32.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/61 "2014-02-18T18:36:48Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Somebody forgot to milk the snakes of their venom. Snakes have nipples? Ignorance fought! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/62 "2014-02-18T18:42:48Z")
Any other year this preacher would be a strong contender for the top Darwin Award, but his chances were blown by [this bunch](http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014/02/10/Teacher-Blowsup-Suicide-Bomb-Training-Class). ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/63 "2014-02-18T19:00:07Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Any other year this preacher would be a strong contender for the top Darwin Award, but his chances were blown by [this bunch](http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014/02/10/Teacher-Blowsup-Suicide-Bomb-Training-Class). That link caused one of those flashing warnings. I had difficulty closing it down. Did anyone else get that? ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/64 "2014-02-18T19:23:15Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Any other year this preacher would be a strong contender for the top Darwin Award, but his chances were blown by [this bunch](http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014/02/10/Teacher-Blowsup-Suicide-Bomb-Training-Class). Well, “oops!” (No warnings, btw.) ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/65 "2014-02-18T20:22:27Z")
This reminds me of a story told by a comedian once about how he wandered in to a snake handling church. When he expressed doubts about staying, one of teh members asked “Brother \_\_\_\_, would you hold a snake if God told you to?”. He replied “I would, but he didn’t and I won’t. Now, about that back door…” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/66 "2014-02-18T20:33:00Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > This reminds me of a story told by a comedian once about how he wandered in to a snake handling church. When he expressed doubts about staying, one of teh members asked “Brother \_\_\_\_, would you hold a snake if God told you to?”. He replied “I would, but he didn’t and I won’t. Now, about that back door…” I wouldn’t want a snake in the back door. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/67 "2014-02-18T21:05:03Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I wouldn’t want a snake in the back door. Insert “bushmaster” joke here. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/68 "2014-02-18T21:36:26Z")
Has **Crotalus** weighed in on this yet? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2014, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/69 "2014-02-18T21:48:58Z")
Too many fuckin’ snakes in this fuckin’ church! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/70 "2014-02-19T13:47:21Z")
It just reinforces my belief, and that of the Founding Fathers I might add, in the separation of church and snakes. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/71 "2014-02-19T14:11:02Z")
> [@digs](#): > > It just reinforces my belief, and that of the Founding Fathers I might add, in the separation of church and snakes. OK, now that’s just funny. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/72 "2014-02-20T02:46:56Z")
The snake will be arraigned in court. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on. ---
**Author:** ![iMouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e9c0ed/32.png) [@iMouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iMouse)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/73 "2014-02-20T03:04:12Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > The snake will be arraigned in court. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on. Don’t fret, his brother is a slimy lawyer. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/74 "2014-02-20T03:08:36Z")
To find a jury of his peers, the court will order a change of venue to Kansas, because there are snakes on the Plains. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2014, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/75 "2014-02-20T05:21:05Z")
_The snakes in Abilane stay mainly on the Plains…_ (“I think she’s got it!”) ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/76 "2014-02-21T00:27:39Z")
Actually, I found a tragic side to this simple tale: According to **[Alternet](http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/snake-salvation-reality-television-star-handles-last-snake?paging=off¤t_page=1#bookmark)**, _“Tennessee’s Wildlife Resources Agency seized 53 venomous snakes [from] Hamblin: “Some were old and sick. Others were young, as tiny as 4 inches and easily capable of slithering out of their containers and into the pews. Some snakes that the officials found were already dead.”_ And in the comments it is said: _please search pentacostals who underfeed the snakes to keep them too weak to bother with a fight. a healthy snake in captivity can last decades, these poor things average months._ Which is fairly despicable. However it may be pertinent to ask why this only occurs in rural America amongst the world’s christians. Most anywhere else would give you a funny look if you offered them a snake. Religious lunacy, stupidity and futile pastimes are not singular to Americans, even slightly, but most places, even amongst other religions, self-harming rituals are not encouraged. The best comment was: _When talking of “god’s will” you must also include the possibility that god might want you dead. God doesn’t always grant our prayers just because we believe. God’s answer may sometimes be “no.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/77 "2014-02-21T04:30:58Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > The best comment was: > > _When talking of “god’s will” you must also include the possibility that god might want you dead. God doesn’t always grant our prayers just because we believe. God’s answer may sometimes be “no.”_ When God wants you dead, it won’t help you whether you handle snakes or don’t handles snakes. You’re going to die. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/78 "2014-02-21T04:39:12Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > When God wants you dead, it won’t help you whether you handle snakes or don’t handles snakes. You’re going to die. Maybe god sometimes smacks his head and says: “All right, finally _enough_ with this doofus! He’s toast.” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/79 "2014-02-21T13:33:28Z")
Poor snakies. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489/80 "2014-02-21T13:59:27Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Maybe god sometimes smacks his head and says: “All right, finally _enough_ with this doofus! He’s toast.” I figure it may go down something like this (not that I have a personal hotline to the Saviour, you understand): > [@Jesus (sorrowfully)](#): > > I said that they would do these things, but I never said they would do them any time they wanted just to show off. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snake-handling-pastor-dies-of-snakebite/681489.md?page=5)