Snakes have nipples? Ignorance fought!
Any other year this preacher would be a strong contender for the top Darwin Award, but his chances were blown by this bunch.
That link caused one of those flashing warnings. I had difficulty closing it down. Did anyone else get that?
Well, “oops!”
(No warnings, btw.)
This reminds me of a story told by a comedian once about how he wandered in to a snake handling church. When he expressed doubts about staying, one of teh members asked “Brother ____, would you hold a snake if God told you to?”. He replied “I would, but he didn’t and I won’t. Now, about that back door…”
I wouldn’t want a snake in the back door.
Insert “bushmaster” joke here.
Has Crotalus weighed in on this yet?
Too many fuckin’ snakes in this fuckin’ church!
It just reinforces my belief, and that of the Founding Fathers I might add, in the separation of church and snakes.
OK, now that’s just funny.
The snake will be arraigned in court. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Don’t fret, his brother is a slimy lawyer.
To find a jury of his peers, the court will order a change of venue to Kansas, because there are snakes on the Plains.
The snakes in Abilane stay mainly on the Plains…
(“I think she’s got it!”)
Actually, I found a tragic side to this simple tale:
According to Alternet,
“Tennessee’s Wildlife Resources Agency seized 53 venomous snakes [ from ] Hamblin: “Some were old and sick. Others were young, as tiny as 4 inches and easily capable of slithering out of their containers and into the pews. Some snakes that the officials found were already dead.”
And in the comments it is said:
please search pentacostals who underfeed the snakes to keep them too weak to bother with a fight. a healthy snake in captivity can last decades, these poor things average months.
Which is fairly despicable.
However it may be pertinent to ask why this only occurs in rural America amongst the world’s christians. Most anywhere else would give you a funny look if you offered them a snake. Religious lunacy, stupidity and futile pastimes are not singular to Americans, even slightly, but most places, even amongst other religions, self-harming rituals are not encouraged.
The best comment was:
When talking of “god’s will” you must also include the possibility that god might want you dead. God doesn’t always grant our prayers just because we believe. God’s answer may sometimes be “no.”
When God wants you dead, it won’t help you whether you handle snakes or don’t handles snakes. You’re going to die.
Maybe god sometimes smacks his head and says: “All right, finally enough with this doofus! He’s toast.”
Poor snakies. 
I figure it may go down something like this (not that I have a personal hotline to the Saviour, you understand):