# Snakes on a Plane missed opportunity (spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 30, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812 "2006-08-30T18:43:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/1 "2006-08-30T18:43:47Z")
I’ve a question, though it’s not really about the film (which I didn’t much care for) as about the potential reaction to the film. Spoiler mouseover gap follows: ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ Okay, when the older flight attendant heard the baby crying and went back into coach to find it, I noted that the crying abruptly stopped. I was expecting, indeed _hoping_, that the attendant would see a boa constrictor with a baby-sized lump in it (thinking as I was of a similarly-themed _Far Side_ cartoon of a post-snack snake unable to escape a playpen), but no dice. I mentioned this to my girlfriend later and she said test audiences would hated it and people would have walked out, etc. Would this really happen? Is an endangered baby a hook but a dead baby a deal-breaker? I don’t have kids, by way. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/2 "2006-08-30T19:09:08Z")
The movie would’ve had to be even sillier to get away with it, like _Airplane_ silly. While the movie didn’t take itself seriously, it did so enough that killing the baby would’ve been over the top. I don’t have (or want) kids either, and I would’ve been disturbed by that in this film. I’m still surprised the dog got it, since the rules are: you don’t kill the kids or the dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/3 "2006-08-30T19:29:23Z")
The only way this could have worked is if Samuel Jackson grabbed a fire axe and chopped open the snake, releasing the baby unharmed. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/4 "2006-08-30T19:36:58Z")
That’s pretty good, but it would have been better if they’d managed to get Holly Hunter to do the movie, so she could go after the snake with the axe while shouting, “You give me that baby! Give me back that baby!” ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/5 "2006-08-30T20:02:11Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] The only way this could have worked is if Samuel Jackson grabbed a fire axe and chopped open the snake, releasing the baby unharmed. [/QUOTE] “I’m sick of these mother fuckin’ babies in these mother fuckin’ snakes”. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/6 "2006-08-30T20:33:43Z")
The dog getting it _was_ kind of refreshing, but then the dog-killer instantly got it, too, which was the movie falling back on the clichés again. It would have been nice to see:[ul][li]At least one kid die[/li][li]At least one seriously unsympathetic character survive[/li][li]The self-centered rap star _not_ have his moment of redemption and apology (thus making him unsympathetic)[/li][li]At least one character who, when told a rap star is one the plane, shrugs and say “rap is garbage.”[/li][li]Big fat black guy who _isn’t_ comic relief[/li][li]Reptile scientist who says _don’t_ suck the poison out - that it’s folklore crap likely to make the situation worse[/ul][/li] Oh, well… the movie never really promised to be anything other than a vehicle for Samuel L anyway. I saw _Beerfest_ the same night and found it more enjoyable. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/7 "2006-08-30T21:54:59Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] The dog getting it _was_ kind of refreshing, but then the dog-killer instantly got it, too, which was the movie falling back on the clichés again. [/QUOTE] That’s what _Snakes on a Plane_ was, though: unapologetically cliché in almost every way it could manage. I wished it had gone in a slightly more self-aware direction (the depiction of the black guys, for example, would have been better with a wink and a nod). As it was, the movie could not have gotten away with the baby being eaten for the reason **DeadlyAccurate** gives. If it was _Snakes on a Airplane!_, the flight attendant could have seen the baby-shaped lump and just said “Oh, shit,” end of scene. Or she could have saved the baby, heard the mother’s moving dialogue about “you were here for a reason, you saved my baby,” and replied “I really would have rather _not died_,” then bit the big one. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/8 "2006-08-31T12:35:34Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] That’s pretty good, but it would have been better if they’d managed to get Holly Hunter to do the movie, so she could go after the snake with the axe while shouting, “You give me that baby! Give me back that baby!” [/QUOTE] Or Meryl Streep: Maybe The Snake Ate My Baby. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/9 "2006-08-31T14:20:35Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Or Meryl Streep: Maybe The Snake Ate My Baby. [/QUOTE] Okay, but only if she says “you warthog from hell.” ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/10 "2006-08-31T14:44:58Z")
[QUOTE=DeadlyAccurate] I’m still surprised the dog got it, since the rules are: you don’t kill the kids or the dogs. [/QUOTE] Tell it to Ol’ Yeller.. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/11 "2006-08-31T15:23:27Z")
Why was one of the characters a champion kickboxer if they weren’t going to have him kick some snakes? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2006, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snakes-on-a-plane-missed-opportunity-spoilers/370812/12 "2006-08-31T16:35:14Z")
[QUOTE=sciurophobic] Why was one of the characters a champion kickboxer if they weren’t going to have him kick some snakes? [/QUOTE] Didn’t he kick _one_, at his first appearance? I’m curious if a major airline ever flies Hawaii-L.A. with a flight crew of only two.