# Snapping turtle **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2002, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171 "2002-06-03T15:57:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/21 "2002-06-05T03:46:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*Speaking of turtles, there was a Box turtle on our back walk today. Dave put it in a bucket for me to show the boy after school. I let it out and it walked all of 18" in four hours. > > Turtles are slow. And they keep showing up in my yard. 31 years without seeing a wild turtle, then two in three days. My, my, the things I have missed. > > Ahem. By ‘wild’, I do not mean that it had big scary fangs. Just to reiterate. \*\* My dear friend of the North, You know not of which you speak. Box turtles are cute and always a welcome sight in any yard. Snapping turtles are something altogether different. They are LARGE but even more importantly, they are MEAN. Others are not exagerating when they say that they can and will take a finger or part of a foot off. The largest of the bunch, alligator snapping turtles, can grow to be over 200 pounds and they occasionally attack swimmers. They can never be domesticated but they have been used to find human corpses in water because they love to eat decaying flesh. [http://www.panda.org/kids/wildlife/fmturtle.htm](http://www.panda.org/kids/wildlife/fmturtle.htm) ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/22 "2002-06-05T05:26:46Z")
Shagnasty, I have recently relocated to Maryland, where there are both kinds. Both have been in the yard this week. The snapper was a baby, about a foot long shell, and just about took of Dave’s foot. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/23 "2002-06-05T05:59:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shagnasty \* > \*\* > > My dear friend of the North, > > You know not of which you speak. Box turtles are cute and always a welcome sight in any yard. Snapping turtles are something altogether different. They are LARGE but even more importantly, they are MEAN. Others are not exagerating when they say that they can and will take a finger or part of a foot off. The largest of the bunch, alligator snapping turtles, can grow to be over 200 pounds and they occasionally attack swimmers. They can never be domesticated but they have been used to find human corpses in water because they love to eat decaying flesh. > > [http://www.panda.org/kids/wildlife/fmturtle.htm](http://www.panda.org/kids/wildlife/fmturtle.htm) \*\* My dear shaggy friend, I have lived here in Maryland for my whole life, and I can assure you that both snappers and box turtles are common. Considering that we live next to a small lake surrounded by woods, both consider our locale turtle paradise. Believe me, these were two different turtles, one of each species, and I used a stick to push the small snapper into a bucket for relocation to the pond while picking up the box turtle and sticking it in the same to be observed by the buglet later. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/24 "2002-06-05T06:00:51Z")
> [@](#): > > by shagnasty: > The largest of the bunch, alligator snapping turtles, can grow to be over 200 pounds and they occasionally attack swimmers. They can never be domesticated but they have been used to find human corpses in water because they love to eat decaying flesh. One more reason I only swim in pools. Weird though. Since you guys seem to be turtle experts, let me run this 'un heah by ya. A month back, my friend and I were carpooling back from work. We passed an animal that looked part turtle, part komodo dragon. It had a really dark thick turtle shell, but it also had a long neck and tail. The head seemed way too big to fit in the shell, and the whole thing looked to weigh a good 100 pounds or more. Biggest damn turtle I’d ever seen. We talked for a week about the “prehistoric komodo turtle” we’d seen, but no one believed us. Any ideas what it may have been? Of course, the next week we passed a stark naked man on the road, and we sort of forgot about the bigass turtle. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/25 "2002-06-05T06:40:35Z")
shrew - the whole shell thing would mean that what you saw was a turtle and what with a head too big for the shell, long tail, and a weight you estimate to be 100lbs plus… Alligator Snapping Turtle. I would find the turtle so much more interesting than some buck naked wacko on the road. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/26 "2002-06-05T12:37:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elfkin477 \* > \*\* reminder from the black op elves that you’re still under surveillance. \*\* Son of a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/27 "2002-06-05T12:40:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shagnasty \* > \*\* > > used to find human corpses in water because they love to eat decaying flesh. > > \*\* Son of a bitch again. I’d better check on the neighhbors. 'Course, I \* really\* don’t like that guy with the auto restoration business across the street and his damn electric sander… ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/28 "2002-06-05T12:55:18Z")
Heh. I was unfamiliar with the term “snapping turtle”, and I opened the thread hoping to find cool stories about turtles losing it, and shooting all their former colleagues at the turtle post office. What? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/29 "2002-06-05T13:33:35Z")
They would truly viscious with semi automatic weapons, but they don’t work well under water. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/30 "2002-06-05T14:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Heh. I was unfamiliar with the term “snapping turtle”, and I opened the thread hoping to find cool stories about turtles losing it, and shooting all their former colleagues at the turtle post office. > > What? \*\* Weirdo Yurpeen. I shall refrain from making the obvious joke about the speed of the mail. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/31 "2002-06-05T14:36:52Z")
This has degenerated from how to get the SOB out of my pool to samming Uncle Slam. Er, unking Slam Sam. Whatever. The coward just showed his ugly face at depth last night. I could swear that a middle claw was upraised in a rude gesture as he sank beneath the waves. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/32 "2002-06-05T14:47:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Feynn \* > shrew - the whole shell thing would mean that what you saw was a turtle and what with a head too big for the shell, long tail, and a weight you estimate to be 100lbs plus… > > Alligator Snapping Turtle. > > I would find the turtle so much more interesting than some buck naked wacko on the road. Well, this is rural Georgia. Seeing a bigass turtle might be weird, but seeing a buck naked man in public is downright apocalyptic. ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/33 "2002-06-05T15:30:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shrew \* > \*\* > > Well, this is rural Georgia. Seeing a bigass turtle might be weird, but seeing a buck naked man in public is downright apocalyptic. \*\* But did he have a purty mouth? 😃 Used to have a box turtle for a pet. Stinky little thing, but cute as hell. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/34 "2002-06-05T16:23:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Heh. I was unfamiliar with the term “snapping turtle”, and I opened the thread hoping to find cool stories about turtles losing it, and shooting all their former colleagues at the turtle post office. > > What? \*\* Dutch boys… if it isn’t about fingering dikes, it’s just not worth knowing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/35 "2002-06-05T19:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Weirddave \* > **Considering that we live next to a small lake surrounded by woods, both consider our locale turtle paradise.** That whole stretch is good for turtles, snappers and otherwise. The old canal basin on the other side of the tracks is _perfect_ for them, and the portion of the basin on your side of the tracks isn’t bad either. Hell, back when I lived up on the Earlton, above town, we found an 18" snapper (common variety) in our swimming pool one season, about half a mile from the nearest running water, and probably a mile and a half from the nearest _sizeable_ running water. Damn thing bit houlfway through a broomstick, and weighed about 50 pounds… Get thee down to Tidings park and take the Marsh Boardwalk around towards the Lighthouse… You should see all manner of interesting stuff. **Ginger** , get ready for snakes… Also: Box turtles may look all cute and what-not, but they’ll eat the the hell out of your tomatoes. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/36 "2002-06-05T20:20:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tranquilis \* > \*\* > > but they’ll eat the the hell out of your tomatoes. \*\* They are just trying to make a living, as we all are. My money is where my mouth is, attempting to capture him rather than finding a firearm (mine were all in the fire) and sending him to reptile hell. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/37 "2002-06-05T22:47:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MachV \* > But did he have a purty mouth? 😃 Why, you wanna make 'im squeal like a…turtle? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/38 "2002-06-06T00:22:21Z")
Here, for **Coldfire** , is a [swell photo](http://www.chelydra.org/snapper12.html) of a snapper. Yikes, huh? The same site offers a guide to [handling](http://www.chelydra.org/inc02.html), but it’s with a pretty small snapper. Yer best bet may be to get it to bite a large stick/broomhandle, pull it out of the water and onto ground, then scoop it up it from the back with a square shovel. I’ve helped one across the road this way, and it worked well, but is better as a two person job. And heed the cautions about that bite; snappers look big and lunky, but are lightning quick when it comes to biting, and, most importantly, **don’t let go** , so definitely have someone there with you, just in case. **Don’t** use a net, it’ll be hard to get the snapper in it in the first place, and a real problem untangling his claws and jaws from it upon release. On that note, maybe it would be best to contact your local animal control, or state wildlife agency. They may be able to send someone out to help ya. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/39 "2002-06-06T01:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > \*\*My money is where my mouth is, attempting to capture him rather than finding a firearm (mine were all in the fire) and sending him to reptile hell. \*\* Nah… Just a good welded wire fabric cage. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171/40 "2002-06-06T02:59:25Z")
This thread is giving me a turtle phobia. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snapping-turtle/112171.md?page=3)