# Snappy Answers to Stupid Job Interview Questions! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 12, 2011, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678 "2011-05-12T17:40:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/41 "2011-05-14T03:56:05Z")
> [@Greg\_Charles](#): > > Hi, Dr. Nick! > > I often wondered about your origin story. My origin story? [QUOTE=etv78] I’m (at least) 4th this! It was YOUR FAULT you’re in dirty clothes, and the guy made a tongue-in-cheek comment, and you FLIP OUT! [/QUOTE] Fifth. I wonder what kind of monster you are to the rest of your subordinates. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/42 "2011-05-14T04:32:17Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > As the owner of a business, I interviewed someone the other day. The interview was scheduled, inadvertently, on a day that I had scheduled myself off. So, I was doing yard work and drove to the office to do the interview. I was dressed in dirty jeans and t shirt. > > The first thing the interviewee said (with a smirky smile), “I was gonna ask about a dress code, but I guess that won’t be necessary”. > > I answered, “We’re even. I thought I’d be conducting an interview, but I guess that won’t be necessary”. > > I walked out of the room and went home. The next day an employee got up the nerve to ask what had happened. You need to walk backwards around town with your pants down and your hands spreading your buttcheeks, 'cuz you is one proud asshole! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/43 "2011-05-14T04:41:07Z")
Whoops, wrong forum. Mods, my apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/44 "2011-05-14T05:55:20Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > -(Q): “How do you deal with difficult subordinates?” (A) “I set them up and fire them” I first read this as “I set them on fire”, which I like better, especially after a set of mundane answers. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/45 "2011-05-14T06:26:50Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I answered, “We’re even. I thought I’d be conducting an interview, but I guess that won’t be necessary”. > > I walked out of the room and went home. The next day an employee got up the nerve to ask what had happened. I thought I had already worked for the worst company in the world, but now I am not so sure… ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/46 "2011-05-14T11:33:15Z")
> [@spudbucket](#): > > Wow! Looks like the applicant dodged a bullet there. If making a humorous comment about you conducting an interview in decidedly non-business attire is enough for you to stop the interview, your business must be a blast to work at. You got that right. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/47 "2011-05-14T11:36:36Z")
> [@Nancarrow](#): > > Q. What would you say is your greatest weakness? > > A1. A tendency to say words like ‘fuck’ at the most inappropriate times. > > A2. I have a short temper for stupid questions. > > A3. Kryptonite. Hey, I have an “undetermined neurological situation” which gets triggered by… boss stupidity 😛 So, A4: Stupid orders give me the shakes. Q: Where do you see yourself in five years? A: Given that this interview is for a position as a consultant, I see myself working for a different client. Q: Do you have a problem working in a department where everybody is male? A: One where everybody else is male, no; one where everybody is male, obviously. I don’t want the job bad enough for a sex change. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/48 "2011-05-14T11:59:53Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Anyone else reading most of the answers here in a Bender voice? I am now. Oh, one from Mitch Hedberg: Q: Where do you see yourself in five years? A: Celebrating the five year anniversary of you asking me that question! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/49 "2011-05-14T12:10:20Z")
-(Q): “Where do you want to be in 5 years?” (A): “Prison.” -(Q): “What is your finest accomplishment?” (A): “Maintaining my virginity–the last time I was in prison.” -(Q): “What are your main weaknesses?” (A): “I refuse to answer that question on the grounds it could be used against me.” -(Q): “How do you deal with difficult subordinates?” (A): “I give them enough rope.” -(Q): “Why did you leave yor last job?” (A): “Oh, I’m still there. I’ll come over here if you offer me more money for shorter hours.” -(Q): “Would you call yourself a practical or proactive person? And give us an example.” (A): “No.” … “What, you still want an example? Well, as I’ve said, I’ve been to prison.” -(Q): “Tell us about a time you had to deal with adversity from somebody in a position of authority to you.” (A): “Well, there was a time I had to kill a gang leader in prison.” -(Q): “What salary would you like?” (A): “I’d like to be paid in chewing gum. However, due to the depreciation rate of chewing gum, I will have to be paid at ten times the normal salary in dollars for the position.” ---
**Author:** ![Dinaroozie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Dinaroozie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinaroozie)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/50 "2011-05-14T17:29:07Z")
One that I very much enjoyed, paraphrased from Penny Arcade: Q What do you consider to be your biggest weakness? A I’m terrified that I’m incapable of love. One day I want the opportunity to answer like that, to see if I can carry it off completely deadpan. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/51 "2011-05-14T18:54:17Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Q: Do you have a problem working in a department where everybody is male? Whoa, interviewers actually ask that question? Could that question more clearly ask, “Are you a likely sexual harassment complaint filer?” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678/52 "2011-05-14T21:55:09Z")
> [@Dinaroozie](#): > > \ > Q What do you consider to be your biggest weakness? > \ A. I don’t tolerate stupid questions well. This answer has the benefit of being completely true! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-job-interview-questions/581678.md?page=2)