# Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions - Thread Style! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334 "2003-05-20T13:00:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/41 "2003-05-23T01:19:03Z")
_Where Did These Towels Come From?_ A: Towels are the physical extrusions of a hyperdimensional intelligence. Can you imagine what goes through their minds every time you dry off after a shower? _Do I no longer qualify as a “true” Star Trek fan?_ Only if you regard “Star Trek V” as canonical. _Why dont Japanese Steakhouse Have Windows???_ Because the manager prefers Macintosh. ---
**Author:** ![d\_redguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/42 "2003-05-23T01:30:44Z")
Old school GQ: Q: What is the 3rd word ending in -gry? A: Orange. Q: Is there a word that rhymes with orange? A: Actually, there are two of them… ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/43 "2003-05-23T04:04:58Z")
From Cafe Society: Is it just me, or does the last 30 minutes of ADAPTATION suck ass? A: It’s just you that sucks ass. From GQ: What do you call the thing that closes a door? A: A person From GD: What rights does the Mother have? A: Right arm. Right leg. Right hand. Right foot… ---
**Author:** ![mishaa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@mishaa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mishaa)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/44 "2003-05-23T04:36:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyDust \* > \*\*Q. What if LotR had been written by someone else? > > A. I guess we’ll never know, will we? I mean, who in their right mind would want to try their hand at that? \*\* I just sprayed DIet Coke on my monitor at that one!! ---
**Author:** ![Trigonal\_Planar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/0ea827/32.png) [@Trigonal\_Planar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trigonal_Planar)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/45 "2003-05-23T04:39:52Z")
Q: What time is it? A: How should I know? I can’t play the trumpet! ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/46 "2003-05-23T06:21:06Z")
Q: High pitched squeals from your television? A: Means American Idol’s on. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/47 "2003-05-23T10:04:14Z")
From GQ: Q: etymology of yard/billion A: grass per capita was too cumbersome Q: Terrorist Chatter A: ne1 wanna g-had? a/s/cave? ObL haxored ur airplane!!!1! Q: Bitty birds bugging big birds A: Sesame Street: Too Hot for CTW ---
**Author:** ![CreaseMunky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@CreaseMunky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CreaseMunky)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/48 "2003-05-23T10:14:31Z")
Q: Where did these towels come from? A: The _Hitchhiker’s Guide_ is no longer accepting freelance articles. Q: What do you call the thing that closes a door? A: Hinge Q: Who stars in your erotic dreams? A: ME!!! ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/49 "2003-05-23T13:57:39Z")
Q: Why do wheels appear to rotate backwards? A: You’ve got the car in reverse, silly! Q: OK Say I am a Zillionaire A: All right. “You’re a zillionaire.” Feel better? Q: My car just stopped working… A: … and it’s so hard for a car to find work these days. Q: What in the world could have happened to this airplane??? A: Have you checked your room? How about under the couch? Q: What does a lady in waiting do? A: Wait. Duh. Q: Make me a wine expert!!! A: Okay, I’ll need some 2x4’s, a couple of wine books, 5 kegs of fine red wine, and some… Q: Question about 9-11 A: It’s “-2” Q: If Mozart were alive today… A: He’d be really, really, REALLY old. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/50 "2003-05-23T14:17:29Z")
Time-traveling spam – has this happened to you? Yeah. I put it in my sammitch and when I went to eat it, the pig was alive again. Any Dopers going to Glenn Beck’s Rally for america on Saturday 5/24? _(Replies: 0)_ Guess not. Any advice for an expectant mother? Nope. You clearly didn’t take my advice, last time. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/51 "2003-05-23T20:57:30Z")
Can Manhattan swear when closes a thread? You betcha, sweetie! ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/52 "2003-05-23T21:02:00Z")
My absolute favourite answer to a question is when the question is something like “What time is it?” or “Which one do you like, this one or that one” The answer being “yes” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/53 "2003-05-24T11:22:57Z")
Q. NHL – Is it a game or a match? A. It’s an abbreviation. A. The correct term is “skirmish”. A. It’s a floor wax _and_ a dessert topping! ---
**Author:** ![Daydreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@Daydreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daydreamer)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/54 "2003-05-24T11:27:32Z")
Q: What’s up? A: A stuco ceiling, beyond which lies the sky ---
**Author:** ![Fritz\_The\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f17d59/32.png) [@Fritz\_The\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fritz_The_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334/55 "2003-05-24T15:26:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by drafty\_de \* > \*\*Dantheman. > > Al Jaffee rocks (or is it Al Jaffe?) > > you won’t believe this but I was just thinking of MAD’s smart ass line of paper back books that I read as a kid. \*\* Two of Al Jaffe’s I have actually used on strangers; Q. Did you catch that fish? A. No. I talked it into surrendering! and Q. Will you call me a taxi? A. Okay, Your A Taxi! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-stupid-questions-thread-style/176334.md?page=2)