# Snappy Answers to the Question "How Are You"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011 "2010-01-22T17:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/1 "2010-01-22T17:42:43Z")
I’m bored of saying “fine” every time I’m asked this. I’d like something positive and uplifting, rather than negative or snarky. So far the best I’ve been able to come up with is “If I were any better I’d be twins.” ---
**Author:** ![Jelly\_Roll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Jelly\_Roll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelly_Roll)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/2 "2010-01-22T17:44:51Z")
The receptionist at our office often replies with, “I’m so happy I have to sit on my hands to keep from clapping.” Cracks me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/3 "2010-01-22T17:45:05Z")
Its not a question, its a greeting. Fine, how are you? Is the correct response. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/4 "2010-01-22T17:57:43Z")
I like “Quite how, thank you.” ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/5 "2010-01-22T17:59:47Z")
“Hangin’ loose and full of juice” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/6 "2010-01-22T18:17:05Z")
Awesome! ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/7 "2010-01-22T18:19:20Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > I’m bored of saying “fine” every time I’m asked this. I’d like something positive and uplifting, rather than negative or snarky. > > So far the best I’ve been able to come up with is “If I were any better I’d be twins.” [QUOTE=George Carlin] Fine? Bullshit! Hair is fine. How’s your hair? Fine! That makes a lot more sense to me. I say “I’m not unwell thank you” or “I’m moderately neato” if I’m in a particularly jaunty mood. [/QUOTE] I know a woman who responds to “How are you?” with “Blessed”. She’s a pretty cheery lady. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/8 "2010-01-22T18:20:57Z")
I’m in the UK, and I often try to give a basic response embellished with a bit of information as an opening to conversation if the other person wants. Something like: Hi! How are you? I’m good! I just [interesting fact] But then I visited America, and discovered that what everyone said is true. “How are you?” is more like “How do you do”, and replying to “how are you” literally is nearly as weird as to “how do you do”? (“I don’t know, how do you do what?” :)) If I tried the above, it’d be more like: How are you? I’m good! I– I’m fine. What can I do for you today? So in short, I’d think about giving up on snappy and settling on maybe “great” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PoorYorick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecccb3/32.png) [@PoorYorick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PoorYorick)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/9 "2010-01-22T18:53:50Z")
> [@Valgard](#): > > I know a woman who responds to “How are you?” with “Blessed”. She’s a pretty cheery lady. Gah, I’m starting to positively \*hate \* that. In my neck of the woods, it’s generally said by sanctimonious twits. “Have a blessed day,” pronounced in two syllables: “bless-ed.” Sorry, personal problem, I know. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/10 "2010-01-22T18:55:47Z")
I like to reply, “I don’t know. I’ve never tried me.” That usually gets me a general WTF look. Works REALLY well with upper management. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/11 "2010-01-22T18:56:10Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Gah, I’m starting to positively \*hate \* that. In my neck of the woods, it’s generally said by sanctimonious twits. “Have a blessed day,” pronounced in two syllables: “bless-ed.” > > Sorry, personal problem, I know. I hate this! Hate it. Since I moved to Atlanta, I hear this on a regular basis. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/12 "2010-01-22T19:02:49Z")
My smart-ass answer to “How are you?” or “How are you doing?”: “I’m rockin’ pretty hard. I’d give myself about a seven and a half. Maybe an eight.” If they’re game, they’ll often follow up with: “Seven and a half? What’s that out of?” (It’s surprising how consistently I get this.) To which I’ll usually respond: “Three! WOOOO!!!” ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/13 "2010-01-22T19:05:21Z")
“Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged.” ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/14 "2010-01-22T19:06:18Z")
Some of the things I say: [ul] [li]Just peachy keeny ducky![/li][li]Fantastic! (in the Dr. Who voice, of course)[/li][li]Outstanding![/li][li]Fabulicious![/li][li]Hunky dory, morning glory[/li][/ul] Yeah, I roll like that.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/15 "2010-01-22T19:07:19Z")
> [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > “Your attempt at social interaction is hereby acknowledged.” roflmao. I could totally hear my SO saying that. I don’t have the dry wit to carry it off. I’m too bubbly. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/16 "2010-01-22T19:08:47Z")
Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to find out. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/17 "2010-01-22T19:14:43Z")
I know someone who always says, “I’m better than I was, but not nearly as good as I’m going to be.” He’s a deliberate positive thinker. And I see him seldom enough that I forget and walk right back into it. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/18 "2010-01-22T19:16:23Z")
I’m doing rather well, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/19 "2010-01-22T19:18:37Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > My smart-ass answer to “How are you?” or “How are you doing?”: > > “I’m rockin’ pretty hard. I’d give myself about a seven and a half. Maybe an eight.” > > If they’re game, they’ll often follow up with: “Seven and a half? What’s that out of?” (It’s surprising how consistently I get this.) > > To which I’ll usually respond: “Three! WOOOO!!!” This made me laugh so hard. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/20 "2010-01-22T19:19:33Z")
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