# Snappy Answers to the Question "How Are You"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011 "2010-01-22T17:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/21 "2010-01-22T19:23:43Z")
I’m fine as frog hair! ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/22 "2010-01-22T19:25:45Z")
_“Better than some, not as good as others.”_ ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/23 "2010-01-22T19:33:07Z")
I used to work with a guy that would greet me with “Yo, how’s it hangin’?” I’d respond with a rather generous assessment of how low my penis dangles. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/24 "2010-01-22T19:37:13Z")
Try screaming “WHY!? WHAT ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT ME?” Garanteed, they won’t ask again. Problem solved!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/25 "2010-01-22T19:42:26Z")
I usually say “solid.” ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/26 "2010-01-22T19:42:31Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Some of the things I say: > > [ul] > [li]Just peachy keeny ducky![/li][li]Fantastic! (in the Dr. Who voice, of course)[/li][li]Outstanding![/li][li]Fabulicious![/li][li]Hunky dory, morning glory[/li][/ul] > Yeah, I roll like that.🆒 I’ve been known to say “Peachy keen, jelly bean.” but now I’m going to have to borrow “Hunky dory, morning glory.” too. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/27 "2010-01-22T19:43:13Z")
I guy I know plays back ‘How are you?’ with ‘I’m fine, thanks’, but ‘How’s your wife?’ invariably elicits the response ‘Better than self-abuse’. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/28 "2010-01-22T19:48:42Z")
My latest response is “I’m livin’ the dream.” which I blantantly ripped off from a CBP guy at O’Hare immigration. It made me laugh out loud after an 18 hour trip in coach… ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/29 "2010-01-22T20:02:11Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I’ve been known to say “Peachy keen, jelly bean.” but now I’m going to have to borrow “Hunky dory, morning glory.” too. Yeah, it makes people guffaw, grin or at least shake their head smirking. It works well for what I’m aiming for! ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/30 "2010-01-22T20:08:49Z")
I think you should come up with random responses that SOUND like they mean something, but don’t really mean anything at all. Like: How are you? _Californication, baby!_ How’s it going? _Going! Gone! Enron!_ ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/31 "2010-01-22T20:22:40Z")
“All right _so far,_ but there’s still time for everything to go horribly wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/32 "2010-01-22T20:52:27Z")
> [@PoorYorick](#): > > Gah, I’m starting to positively \*hate \* that. In my neck of the woods, it’s generally said by sanctimonious twits. “Have a blessed day,” pronounced in two syllables: “bless-ed.” > > Sorry, personal problem, I know. A woman where I used to work would say “I’m blessed!” in a voice that I swear rattled windows a block away. How I respond depends on who’s asking and what kind of mood I’m in. With friends I’m likely to give a semi-serious answer if they haven’t seen me in a while. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/33 "2010-01-22T21:20:56Z")
I have responded to a woman saying “Have a good one” with “Honey, I’ve got a **great** one.” ---
**Author:** ![pudytat72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@pudytat72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pudytat72)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/34 "2010-01-22T21:27:05Z")
“I’m here” Lots of possible implications and ways to say it. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/35 "2010-01-22T22:32:06Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > Try screaming “WHY!? WHAT ARE THEY SAYING ABOUT ME?” > > Garanteed, they won’t ask again. Problem solved!😃 I don’t scream it but use the similar “Why, what have you heard?” while eyeing them suspiciously. ---
**Author:** ![kevlaw](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kevlaw/32/2281_2.png) [@kevlaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevlaw)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/36 "2010-01-22T23:13:06Z")
“Not too bad, considering…” if I am in an upbeat mood. “Hanging on in quiet desperation” if I am feeling poetic. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/37 "2010-01-22T23:31:53Z")
Depending on my mood: “Rockin’ like Dokken” “Oh, you know… kicking ass, taking names, as usual. You?” “Not dead yet, so… there’s that.” ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/38 "2010-01-23T00:15:59Z")
“Dressed and awake…” or “Vertical and ventilating…” If the mark doesn’t look like they’d understand, I’ll substitute “Upright and breathing…” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/39 "2010-01-23T00:28:16Z")
“I’m so happy I can hardly stand myself”. ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/40 "2010-01-23T01:40:57Z")
I have a friend that responds to “How are you?” with “Glad to be here!” and my own personal favorite is “I’m more like I am now than I was before.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011.md?page=3)