# Snappy Answers to the Question "How Are You"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011 "2010-01-22T17:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/41 "2010-01-23T01:43:06Z")
Existential : “I don’t know, I just am.” Philosophical : “I think.” Douchey : “Like you, only better.” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/42 "2010-01-23T01:49:54Z")
Overworked and underpaid. I’m here. How good could that possibly be? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/43 "2010-01-23T01:54:59Z")
“Nothing that a tower and an AK-47 wouldn’t solve.” - from The Matchmaker, with Janeane Garofalo. ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/44 "2010-01-23T02:14:37Z")
1. Do you really care? 2. Can’t complain. Nobody listens to me anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@Runs\_With\_Scissors](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runs_With_Scissors)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/45 "2010-01-23T03:41:40Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Its not a question, its a greeting. > > Fine, how are you? Is the correct response. Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays!!! ---
**Author:** ![Qwakkeddup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Qwakkeddup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwakkeddup)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/46 "2010-01-23T04:59:35Z")
As fast as I can get it out,“I’m better than I was, but I’m not so well as I was before I got to be as bad as I am now.” Works peachy when I am feeling a little devilish. Also good if I have been sick for a while. ---
**Author:** ![ShotgunZen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@ShotgunZen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShotgunZen)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/47 "2010-01-23T07:56:50Z")
My stock response is: Better than nothin’ Although occasionally I’ll go with FANTASTIC! Which always gets the response” Really?” to which I respond “Well, no, not REALLY. But I AM adequate for most tasks” Also occasionally: Amazing… and I’ve got written testimonials ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/48 "2010-01-23T08:21:07Z")
A friend has taken to answering the question with “I’m am.” It’s utter nonsense but it’s cute. (Well, if you knew her, you’d think it’s cute.) I tend, in person, to give a cheery Big Gay Al “I’m super, thanks for asking!” But without the lisp. ---
**Author:** ![Dahnlor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dahnlor/32/533_2.png) [@Dahnlor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dahnlor)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/49 "2010-01-23T09:26:17Z")
I also use “I am” fairly often. The same way God would answer. If particularly perky, I’d say “I am very!” “Well, I’m here” “Yup” Or I might answer like this: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/JC2gIPnUCgw/hqdefault.jpg "nutrigrain commercial") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JC2gIPnUCgw) ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@Mister\_Owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Owl)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/50 "2010-01-23T14:19:09Z")
A man I used to listen to on the radio would reply “I am better than most, but not as good as some.” My personal reply is often “I am not unwell.” Most people have to pause to think that one through. ---
**Author:** ![davey77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90ced4/32.png) [@davey77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davey77)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/51 "2010-01-23T18:29:43Z")
If I were doing any better, I’d have to hire you to enjoy it with me. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/52 "2010-01-24T04:48:14Z")
“You want the short version, or the long version?” ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/53 "2010-01-24T06:38:05Z")
My standard answers are “I am well” and “Superhappygroovalicious”. With just a bit of practice, both can be said with precisely the degree of sincerity or sarcasm you require. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/54 "2010-01-24T14:09:29Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > Its not a question, its a greeting. > > Fine, how are you? Is the correct response. I’ve never understood this. The word “Hi” is already a greeting. There must be some purpose to the “how are you” part besides just being a greeting. I’m pretty sure the point is to try and start a bit of conversation. And that isn’t going to happen if you give the same boring response every time. So it may be a greeting, but there are quite a few possible responses. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/55 "2010-01-24T18:50:03Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I’ve never understood this. The word “Hi” is already a greeting. As are “Hello”, “Hey”, and “Howdy” (short for “How do you do?”, let us note). There’s nothing preventing the language from having more than one ritual greeting. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/56 "2010-01-24T19:36:52Z")
“Not as good as you” Arrggh - I hate that. Response to “What’s up?” “The cost of living” ---
**Author:** ![Stana\_Claus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stana_claus/32/13874_2.png) [@Stana\_Claus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stana_Claus)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/57 "2010-01-24T22:26:37Z")
Said in an Eeyore voice: “Just another day in Paradise. Thanks for asking.” ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/58 "2010-01-25T00:59:59Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Response to “What’s up?” > “The cost of living” or, “My nipples. It’s cold out there…” ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/59 "2010-01-25T01:33:38Z")
“Not too bad for an amateur” An Older Gentleman I used to go to church with would say “Pretty good for a young feller” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2010, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/60 "2010-01-25T03:28:29Z")
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