# Snappy Answers to the Question "How Are You"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011 "2010-01-22T17:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Tread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/81 "2017-10-13T19:45:32Z")
any better, and I’d have to be naked ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/82 "2017-10-13T19:46:55Z")
“I’m still sucking air.” ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/83 "2017-10-13T21:29:09Z")
Braiiinnnnnssss! Actually, I usually say “Pretty good, for me.” ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/84 "2017-10-13T21:42:14Z")
I generally answer with “Swell.” Some people take it as postmodern sarcasm, others take it as rustic charm. Although I’m always tempted to assume an exaggerated Mr. Data voice and say “I am functioning within acceptable parameters.” ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/85 "2017-10-13T22:55:49Z")
Had a co-worker that would always say, “Just trying to eek out a meager existence in today’s haggard world”. It is interesting to note that here, where I live, people don’t ask that question. Normally it is, “Where ya going?” whatcha doing? And zombies never ask. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/86 "2017-10-14T02:55:04Z")
Well since someone awoke it ------ in real life (in person) when someone asks I stop, check my pulse, and then answer. Some people like that response and some reply with something along the lines of “shithead”. ---
**Author:** ![Grumbacher\_Red](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85e7bf/32.png) [@Grumbacher\_Red](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumbacher_Red)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/87 "2017-10-14T03:57:00Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > I’m fine as frog hair! I came in here to say this! My version of it is “I am just fine. Fine as frog’s hair.” 😃 Or if you are having an ex-tree good day you could say “I am finer than a frog’s hair split down the middle.” I gotta agree the “Bless-ed day” thing is pretty played. Hate it. It is boring and extremely unimaginative. My boss says that “living the dream” thing. I see there are plenty of people trying to make that happen. If you are feeling good there’s “I’m happy as a bump on a pickle” or “happy as a tick on a fat dog”. Or if you are having a busy day, you could say you are “busier than a one-eyed cat watching 3 rat holes” or “this place is busier than a stump full of ants”. Or, If you want to keep it simple just say, “I am doing quite well, thank you!” ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/88 "2017-10-14T14:52:24Z")
Never better! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/89 "2017-10-14T17:15:49Z")
Sometimes I say “Could be better,” then pause and add “Could be worse.” ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/90 "2017-10-14T17:57:29Z")
I never ask that, but it’s so ingrained in culture that when I say “hello” people answer with “good, you?” 😕 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/91 "2017-10-14T18:03:25Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > I never ask that, but it’s so ingrained in culture that when I say “hello” people answer with “good, you?” > > ������ I’m a bit of a dick. When greeted by a sales store clerk, “Hello, how are you?”, I simply say, “Thank you”. He/she doesn’t care how I am any more than the last 100 people he/she greeted or the next 200 he/she is going to greet in the same fashion. Just say, “Hello”, and let’s both get on with me ignoring you as you count the minutes 'til closing while you fold the same goddamn sweaters for the 17th time today. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/92 "2017-10-14T18:20:26Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I’m a bit of a dick. When greeted by a sales store clerk, “Hello, how are you?”, I simply say, “Thank you”. He/she doesn’t care how I am any more than the last 100 people he/she greeted or the next 200 he/she is going to greet in the same fashion. Just say, “Hello”, and let’s both get on with me ignoring you as you count the minutes 'til closing while you fold the same goddamn sweaters for the 17th time today. I may be the outlier, but I care. For so many reasons… If you’re happy, you spend and my job kind of depends on that. If you’re not happy about something that I can maybe fix, like you’re looking for something you haven’t found yet, I get a sense of job satisfaction which impacts my mood. Let’s face it, I am surrounded by people all day long. If they are pleasant, my life is pleasant. If they aren’t, I’m working hard just to try not to be miserable. Humans are social animals. They feed off each other whether they realize it or not. If you’re interacting with someone who is forced to acknowledge your presence and be available to you, what would you prefer they say as opposed to using greetings that are social norms? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/93 "2017-10-14T18:30:23Z")
> [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](#): > > I may be the outlier, but I care. For so many reasons… If you’re happy, you spend and my job kind of depends on that. If you’re not happy about something that I can maybe fix, like you’re looking for something you haven’t found yet, I get a sense of job satisfaction which impacts my mood. Let’s face it, I am surrounded by people all day long. If they are pleasant, my life is pleasant. If they aren’t, I’m working hard just to try not to be miserable. Humans are social animals. They feed off each other whether they realize it or not. If you’re interacting with someone who is forced to acknowledge your presence and be available to you, what would you prefer they say as opposed to using greetings that are social norms? It’s a pet peeve of mine, when strangers ask me how I am. So a “Hello, please let me know if I can be of service”, is all I’m ever interested in hearing from a sales clerk. I know how stores work. I know you’re there to help me find a size or check stock or ring up the sale. If you’ve done that, you’ve made me happy and you’ve done your job well. Asking me how I am when you don’t even know my name, is simply not something anyone should expect of you. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/94 "2017-10-14T19:31:04Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > I’m bored of saying “fine” every time I’m asked this. I’d like something positive and uplifting, rather than negative or snarky. > > So far the best I’ve been able to come up with is “If I were any better I’d be twins.” Mine is, “If I were any better, I’d be illegal.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2017, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/95 "2017-10-14T23:53:41Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Of course there’s no rule. But there is generally a sort of logic to how these things develop. It may eventually become a pure greeting, but I don’t think it really has yet, as it still has some meaning beyond other greetings such as Hi or hello. > > To me, it seems to be less of a greeting than a transition from a greeting into normal conversation. Greetings such as “hi”, “hello”, or “hey” are often used by themselves as merely acknowledging the existence of the other person. “Hi, how are you?” seems more often to be used as a way to start a conversation, while giving both sides an easy way to decline. > > You know, I guess my confusion is because I wouldn’t call what you described above as merely a greeting. The whole thing may be my misunderstanding of a term. I guess we could simply walk around silently, for fear that our use of socially accepted conventions will be scrutinized and analyzed by those more clever than us. But seriously, “Hey Phil, how are you?” “I’m good, thanks” isn’t rocket science. Can someone explain: Why this is confusing; and Why the need for sarcastic responses. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2017, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/96 "2017-10-15T00:21:28Z")
Lately I’ve been answering, “About as good as can be expected”. When they ask for clarification/details, I tell them to think about it. It really does make sense wether I’m peachy or battling terminal illness. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2017, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/97 "2017-10-15T03:41:37Z")
> [@Grumbacher\_Red](#): > > I came in here to say this! > > My version of it is “I am just fine. Fine as frog’s hair.” 😃 If you lived near me I would have some terrific swag for you from > **[FrogHair Fishing](https://froghairfishing.com/)** > > Froghair designs high performance tippets and leaders for the fly fisherman. Our line is molecularly altered to provide high strength, abrasion resistance and yet leaves the line soft and supple for great casting. Best leader material out there right now and since I’m been balding a lot I love their hats. Quite appropriate. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2017, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/98 "2017-10-15T13:55:13Z")
For many years, my go-to response was “reasonably well, thank you, and I hope you are the same.” For about the past year, however, I’ve gone with “As well as can be expected.” ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2017, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/99 "2017-10-15T17:17:20Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > It’s a pet peeve of mine, when strangers ask me how I am. So a “Hello, please let me know if I can be of service”, is all I’m ever interested in hearing from a sales clerk. I know how stores work. I know you’re there to help me find a size or check stock or ring up the sale. If you’ve done that, you’ve made me happy and you’ve done your job well. Asking me how I am when you don’t even know my name, is simply not something anyone should expect of you. That may work for 90% of retailers, but my job requires quite a bit more than that. Asking how you are and gauging your answer helps me figure out how best to communicate with you so that I can get through the line of questioning that is required of me to fulfill my duties. It’s okay to shut me down if you don’t need that level of service, but at least do so in a friendly manner and don’t assume I don’t care. I actually \*like \*my job. ---
**Author:** ![LynnM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@LynnM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LynnM)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2017, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011/100 "2017-10-15T17:22:09Z")
Anthropologists call this “ **phatic** communication.” Most cultures have \*\*phatic \*\*communication/expressions. I doubt many people make a big deal of it. Its purpose is to convey goodwill and sociability, not the communication of important information. “In linguistics, a \*\*phatic \*\*expression is communication which serves a social function such as small talk and social pleasantries that don’t seek or offer any information of value.[1] For example, greetings such as “hello” and “how are you?” are phatic expressions.[2]” > **[Phatic expression](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression)** > > In linguistics, a phatic expression (English: /ˈfætɪk/, FAT-ik) is a communication which primarily serves to establish or maintain social relationships. In other words, phatic expressions have mostly socio-pragmatic rather than denotational functions. They can be observed in everyday conversational exchanges, as in, for instance, exchanges of social pleasantries that do not seek or offer information of intrinsic value but rather signal willingness to observe conventional local expectations for Ot... “The term **phatic communion** was coined by British anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski in his essay “The Problem of Meaning in Primitive Languages,” which appeared in 1923 in The Meaning of Meaning by C.K. Ogden and I.A. Richards.” > **[Making Small Talk: Phatic Communication](https://www.thoughtco.com/phatic-communication-1691619)** > > Phatic communication (or phatic communion) is the nonreferential use of language to share feelings or establish a mood of sociability. **phatic** Of or relating to communication used to perform a social function rather than to convey information or ideas. > **[phatic](https://www.thefreedictionary.com/phatic)** > > Definition, Synonyms, Translations of phatic by The Free Dictionary [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-answers-to-the-question-how-are-you/526011.md?page=6)