# Snappy Comebacks for my Passive-Agressive Boss **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063 "2010-08-03T22:03:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/21 "2010-08-04T14:32:39Z")
“Very good. Yes, there ARE forks in the sink. And that’s right - you’re \*not \*washing up; you’re standing in your subordinate’s office. It seems the medication’s working!” “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to _me_? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking…You talking to me?” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/22 "2010-08-04T14:50:20Z")
“There are forks in the sink. And I’m not washing dishes!” Snappy/non-sequitur comeback: “Hey, that’s nothing! Did you see _Hot Tub Time Machine_? John Cusak got a stabbed in the friggin’ eye with a fork!” ---
**Author:** ![Oly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oly/32/8255_2.png) [@Oly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oly)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/23 "2010-08-04T15:04:06Z")
Don’t look at me. I always put my dirty forks back in the drawer. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/24 "2010-08-04T15:16:48Z")
“Sorrty, they only pay me to clean the spoons.” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/25 "2010-08-04T15:24:16Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > Are you a man? > > “… wait. What are you doing out of the kitchen in the first place?” for that extra sexist kick. This is the exact route you should take. “Yeah, you’re probably tired from doing all the dishes at home.” ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/26 "2010-08-04T16:08:49Z")
“What other option did I have? It’s not like my wife can drive all the way over here every day. Sheesh!” ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/27 "2010-08-04T16:11:23Z")
I already had the dog give them a once-over, Ms. PICKY! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/28 "2010-08-04T16:22:01Z")
“Thanks for the update.” “Wait, you mean the kitchen has forks now? When did we get those?” “I support you 100 percent. I don’t wash dishes, either.” “What else do you want us to do with them? Leave them all over the place?” “There are employees in here, and I’m not bathing them.” “We’ll add that to the list of things you don’t do.” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/29 "2010-08-04T20:07:03Z")
Use them dirty if you like. By the way I think somebody used one to remove their phone from the toilet. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/30 "2010-08-04T20:34:38Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > “Yeah, you’re probably tired from doing all the dishes at home.” Hahaha. I like that one better. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/31 "2010-08-05T03:00:34Z")
I don’t think this is passive aggressive at all, this is just regular management. Problem -\> identify problem. Passive aggressive would be to insult you without talking about you at all, e.g. I guess someone who doesn’t care about this company also doesn’t care enough to keep the sink clean. Imho, if your boss sees a mess, and says, “Clean up this mess,” there’s no snappy answer possible. Anything you say is an excuse, whining, or “being difficult.” For my example I would respond with, “Thank god they get promoted out of here so quick.” ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/32 "2010-08-05T03:02:39Z")
Do you remember the kid’s song “A hole in the bucket Dear Liza”? Sing it! There are forks in the sink The sink is by the fridge The fridge is in the kitchen The kitchen is in the office The office has the boss Who bitches about ev-ery-thing. I don’t know how to type with rhythm. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![moejoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@moejoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejoe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/33 "2010-08-05T03:15:04Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > “I guess they didn’t go down the drain like I thought.” > . I had an awful day and this one cracked me up. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/34 "2010-08-05T04:52:36Z")
“G’wan, fire me. I dare you.” ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/35 "2010-08-05T06:43:12Z")
“You think THAT’S bad? You wouldn’t believe where the spoons are!” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/36 "2010-08-05T06:58:56Z")
Time for the [passive agressive pit bull.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-1HvoftxuM) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/37 "2010-08-05T16:12:12Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > “What other option did I have? It’s not like my wife can drive all the way over here every day. Sheesh!” I’d go with mom, especially if you look over 30. “What other option did I have? It’s not like my mom’s gonna drive over here every day. Sheesh!” ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/38 "2010-08-05T16:48:25Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I already had the dog give them a once-over, Ms. PICKY! This one would have been particularly effective, given the germophobia of the woman in question. Gawd, I wish I could think on my feet! ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/39 "2010-08-05T17:38:51Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > > [@Smeghead](#): > > > > I already had the dog give them a once-over, Ms. PICKY! > > This one would have been particularly effective, given the germophobia of the woman in question. Gawd, I wish I could think on my feet! There’s only one solution. Any time someone says something you don’t like you need to reply “I’ll be right back.” We’ll be here waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Skinley_Von_Clipper)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063/40 "2010-08-05T20:29:20Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > “There are \*forks \*in the _sink_. And I’m \*not \*washing dishes!” Ok, I’ll do the dishes, you do the forks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snappy-comebacks-for-my-passive-agressive-boss/549063.md?page=3)