# Snarky responses to well-meaning Thread Titles **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979 "2010-12-21T18:16:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/1 "2010-12-21T18:16:17Z")
OK, I’m too much of a wise-ass for my own good. My immediate responses as I read down the list of threads in General Questions: ~ ~ ~ \*\*Is it true that the average American uses more energy than a blue whale? \*\*-- Well, a blue whale who doesn’t own a decent size TV. \*\*Which cardio machine is better for weightloss? \*\*-- The one you’ll get on every day. \*\*Why are so many ‘redneck’ kids named Travis, Tyler and Cody? \*\*-- Hard to pronounce Chalmondoly without all your teeth. \*\*Why are pharmaceutical sales staff all attractive women? \*\*-- For the same reason your mom isn’t one. \*\*Menstruating Women \*\*-- …and other immediate dangers. Need Answer fast! \*\*Is this an invasion of privacy? \*\*–Yes. Get over it. \*\* An Antipodeal Christmas \*\*“Iiiii’m dreeeeeaming of an An Antipodeal Christmas…” \*\* Why Are Big Cities in America So Liberal? \*\*-- Smart people move off the farm. \>:-} \*\*Why don’t people do crazy things? \*\*–They do. Where have _you_ been? Obviously not at our house. \*\*Mail out $1 and earn $800,000 in 90 days \*\*-- Do you really need to ask? If so, give us an update… if your yacht has Wi-fi. \*\*Slick New Computers - Drawbacks? \*\*-- Biggest one: Ya Gotta Give Somebody Lots o’ Real Money To Get One. \*\*Office-desk labelling device/sticker/something \*\*-- For THIS you bother the finest minds of our generation? Open a catalog. \*\*Stranded in airport for a week…with no money. Now what? \*\*-- Now get some money and get out of the airport. \*\*Coincidental eclipses \*\*-- I much prefer the ones that happen for a reason. \*\*Ethernet cables - multiple types - too much information! \*\*-- Well, don’t come here. We’ll just give you more. \*\*Las Vegas off-strip casino hotels: who stays there? \*\*-- Your ex-GF… oh, I’m sorry. Were you asking who’s there with her? \*\*Can I bake a cake in a toaster oven? \*\*-- Can I make Baked Alaska with a hair dryer? \*\*Anyone know how to get black Sharpie marks off a laptop screen?? \*\*-- OK, this one I have nothing snarky for. Just sympathy. Let us know how it turned out. \*\*Is inability to pay a bar tab an arrestable offense? \*\*-- I’d worry more about it being a whoop-ass-able offense. \*\*Mathletes: Two card-odds questions (blackjack and side bet) \*\*-- Sorry. Mathletes know enough about the odds not to gamble. \*\*How can mature adults produce young offspring? \*\*-- _Y’see, this here’s the problem. Most adults do not wait til they’re mature to produce young offspring. Check local Wal-Mart or sporting events for examples._ \*\*Facebook question \*\*-- Facebook answer: Back away from the screen. Get family member to unplug computer (you will not have the strength to do this). Turn to family member and engage in analog interaction. If said interaction begins with “Which Disney character are you?” seek professional help. \*\*Chimp vs. Brock Lesnar \*\*-- Chimp, if he’s prepared. Your turn. Do you ever have that first reaction when you see a title? And have you ever actually posted it? If so, you’re braver, or more cynical, than I am. Oh, if so, what’s the snarkiest reply you’ve made? Do you regret it… or are you kind of proud of it? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/2 "2010-12-21T18:17:26Z")
Nah, too easy. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/3 "2010-12-21T18:20:18Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Nah, too easy. That would be flat-out crazy. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/4 "2010-12-21T18:21:34Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Nah, too easy. You mean the typo? _points and laughs at the flat chested OP_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/5 "2010-12-21T18:21:56Z")
Those aren’t funny. Except the Chalmondoly one. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/6 "2010-12-21T18:31:18Z")
**Snarky responses to well-meaning Thread Titless** - Learn where and what MPSIMS is. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/7 "2010-12-21T18:35:53Z")
“Titless” (snicker…) ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/8 "2010-12-21T18:42:23Z")
Damnit I picked the wrong time to take lunch. I’ve always been told that meaning well is no excuse for titlessness. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/9 "2010-12-21T19:22:37Z")
**digs** is an itty-bitty person. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/10 "2010-12-21T19:33:53Z")
Hey be nice. Being titless is nothing to snark at. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/11 "2010-12-21T19:44:39Z")
Digs is big in Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/12 "2010-12-21T20:22:20Z")
Hey, breast cancer treatments are no joke! Just like every line in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/13 "2010-12-21T20:27:34Z")
Snarky responses to well-meaning Thread Titless The vorpal blade went snicker snack. He left it dead, and with its titties. He went galumphing back. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/14 "2010-12-21T21:55:42Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > The vorpal blade went snicker snack. He left it dead, and with its titties. He went galumphing back. Every time I read this, I laugh a little bit harder. We’re approaching the drooling stage shortly. I should probably stop. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/15 "2010-12-21T22:31:52Z")
Whew. I’m back (from Xmas shopping with a migraine–aaaaaaagh)… Okay, okay. I’ll embrace my titlessness, and admit that I should have put this in MPSIMS (it’s just that I rarely check over there and kinda forgot about it), and I’ll also admit that these responses are more fun than my OP. Mods, feel free to move this (except for that extra s). ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/16 "2010-12-21T22:37:53Z")
Given that you’re mocking people’s threads (albeit doing a poor job of it), it should probably stay in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/17 "2010-12-21T23:28:12Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Mods, feel free to move this (except for that extra s). Oh, no no no, and negate every (funny) joke in this thread? You don’t get off that easy, mister (or missy, as the case may be). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/18 "2010-12-22T00:40:49Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Oh, no no no, and negate every (funny) joke in this thread? You don’t get off that easy, mister (or missy, as the case may be). Umm, hellO, _ **titless** _, remember? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/19 "2010-12-22T01:05:49Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > You don’t get off that easy, mister (or missy, as the case may be). At least not through mammary stimulation. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979/20 "2010-12-22T01:22:04Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Umm, hellO, _ **titless** _, remember? Could go either way, really. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snarky-responses-to-well-meaning-thread-titles/564979.md?page=2)