# SNL sketches/characters that should NEVER be made into movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 11, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369 "2002-08-11T05:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WSLer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a6a055/32.png) [@WSLer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WSLer)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/1 "2002-08-11T05:36:00Z")
Hans und Franz (this was actually in the late development stage but then Carvey left the show & his first movie bombed and the projetc was shelved) Mango: I will kill myself if this gets made into a movie. Honest truth. ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/2 "2002-08-11T06:00:42Z")
The one with Kelsey Grammer about smelling the cat’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/3 "2002-08-11T06:25:25Z")
Pat. They should never make a movie featuring Pat. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/4 "2002-08-11T06:42:26Z")
The Church Lady. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/5 "2002-08-11T06:45:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\*Pat. They should never make a movie featuring Pat. \*\* [I’m so, so sorry](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0110169). ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/6 "2002-08-11T07:00:45Z")
Mango. [I actually previewed this.] ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/7 "2002-08-11T07:44:34Z")
_The Continental_ would be funny, with Christopher Walken, and _Goth Talk_ might be amusing, but _Mr. Peepers_ would be just death. Has Chris Kattan made a good movie yet? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/8 "2002-08-11T14:54:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\* Has Chris Kattan made a good movie yet? \*\* Not really, no - I kind of liked **Monkeybone** and the remake of **House on Haunted Hill** , neither of which actually starred him. (And I found **Hill** only tolerable. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/9 "2002-08-11T15:08:38Z")
The NPR ladies The old hippie couple ANYTHING involving Colin Quinn ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/10 "2002-08-11T16:18:54Z")
Chris Kattan and Will Farrel at the nightclub The Ladies’ Man character with Tim Meadows Pat Mary Catherine Gallagher Oh wait, these should never HAVE BEEN made. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/11 "2002-08-11T16:39:52Z")
The Lovers ---
**Author:** ![Airbeck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airbeck/32/6574_2.png) [@Airbeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airbeck)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/12 "2002-08-11T16:43:11Z")
Massive Head Wound Harry The Sensitive Naked Guy The Spartan Cheerleaders ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/13 "2002-08-11T17:27:38Z")
Imagine a hour and a half of Will and Ana’s high school music teacher’s skit. Or maybe ‘Dog Show’. The possiblities are frightening. However, the “Ambigiously Gay Duo/X-Presidents Show” every Saturday morning would be fabulous. ---
**Author:** ![erin\_uh\_oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@erin\_uh\_oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erin_uh_oh)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/14 "2002-08-11T19:29:56Z")
nick burns, your company’s computer guy - just jimmy fallon smirking unfunilly. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/15 "2002-08-11T21:48:36Z")
Two Wild and Crazy Guys Roseanne Rosannadanna Greek Deli ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/16 "2002-08-12T02:49:27Z")
Gay Hitler ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/17 "2002-08-12T04:57:00Z")
Those two annoying 'My Lover" professor type people, played by Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch. They’re not even funny enough to be in a 3 minute sketch. Middle Aged Man It’d be simpler to list which characters _should_ be made into movies, but the thread would be over after 1 or 2 replies. **WSLer** , I’ll join you in a suicide pact if Mango ever gets near a theater. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/18 "2002-08-12T05:34:55Z")
Rob Schneider’s “Randy, the Randster, Randalino, the Randinator, makin’ some copies” character. ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/19 "2002-08-12T05:46:07Z")
Mr. No Depth Perception, Mr. Short-term Memory, et al. Really, though, it seems most of the sketches that became movies were horrible beyond mere human imagination. What worked? Wayne’s World The Blues Brothers So what’s left in the bag here? It’s Pat A Night At The Roxbury The Ladies Man Coneheads Wayne’s World 2 Stuart Saves His Family Superstar Blues Brothers 2000 Okay, so that’s 1 in 5. Not too good. This is of course neglecting movies starring SNL performers, but not based on SNL characters. The list would skew even further towards a festering cesspool if those were added. ( Adam Sandler alone would be devastating! Must I mention Rob Schnieder? Spade/Farley? Kattan? When will the madness stop?) I think it’s clear. These people must be euthanized for the protection of the human race. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369/20 "2002-08-12T07:43:01Z")
That nude art model guy sketch. :shudder: “Bill Brasky” might do well, if they could keep the line of jokes coming steady for an hour and a half. (So, while theoretically possible, it’ll never happen) Ranchoth [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snl-sketches-characters-that-should-never-be-made-into-movies/123369.md?page=2)