# Snooping:  When is it okay, if ever?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snooping-when-is-it-okay-if-ever/538568>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 6, 2010, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snooping-when-is-it-okay-if-ever/538568 "2010-05-06T23:47:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 3

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**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\
**Post date:** [May 6, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snooping-when-is-it-okay-if-ever/538568/3 "2010-05-06T23:59:29Z")

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Moving my responses from that thread to here:

> [@Girlfriend is spending a lot of time talking to a new guy friend of hers online. Should I worry?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-is-spending-a-lot-of-time-talking-to-a-new-guy-friend-of-hers-online-should-i-worry/538444/150):
>
> It isn’t a court of law. There is no burden of proof.

I never take relationships lightly, including when it comes to ending them. I need proof before I end one. If I snoop in the emails and find totally platonic, normal content I’d just forget about the whole thing. If I found anything sexual or romantic I’d send her packing.

> [@Girlfriend is spending a lot of time talking to a new guy friend of hers online. Should I worry?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-is-spending-a-lot-of-time-talking-to-a-new-guy-friend-of-hers-online-should-i-worry/538444/147):
>
> I can’t figure out how you could feel that distrustful of someone and then think that if you don’t get your proof, you can go back to trusting them.

Because I acknowledge that I might just be the one who is wrong. I know I’m not always right and that, lacking any evidence, weird behavior may just be that: weird behavior. She gave me reason to believe something was going on with her weird behavior, she didn’t give me a straight answer, I had no choice but to get my answers another way, I found nothing, I acknowledge that I was wrong, I move on. What’s so hard to get about this? Everyone second-guesses themselves.

> [@Girlfriend is spending a lot of time talking to a new guy friend of hers online. Should I worry?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-is-spending-a-lot-of-time-talking-to-a-new-guy-friend-of-hers-online-should-i-worry/538444/146):
>
> This brings me back to my original musing: is there anything you could find which would convince you there was NOTHING going on? I don’t think so.

I can only speak for myself, but I’d be fine with “nothing incriminating.” As long as there weren’t any overtly romantic or sexual chats or emails I wouldn’t worry about it anymore. YMMV.

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