# Snowball Fight!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 11, 2000, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007 "2000-12-11T13:44:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/1 "2000-12-11T13:44:52Z")
\<\< sneaking up behind Coldfire with ball of lightly packed snow… aims at base of neck… THROWS\>\> **SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!** \<\< runs away, cackling \>\> - nothing personal, Coldie, you were just closest 🙂 \* ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/2 "2000-12-11T13:49:48Z")
::starts amassing stockpile of snowballs “specially” treated:: What me? I’m just an innocent bystander watching all the happenings. ::laughs maniacally under breath:: ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/3 "2000-12-11T13:56:44Z")
Rules, Rules, Rules. 1. there are no rules. 2. there are no alliances. 3. “yellow snow”, while inline with the no rules policy, shows poor form. ---
**Author:** ![steeljaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aca169/32.png) [@steeljaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steeljaw)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/4 "2000-12-11T14:07:14Z")
steeljaw, blatantly displaying “poor form,” creates a patch of yellow snow. He then places a delicious taco 5 feet down the hill from the yellow snow. Proceeds to climb hill with snowboard, ducks behind rock and waits for his first victim. buuuuuuuuwaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaa! ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/5 "2000-12-11T14:37:09Z")
::sneaks up on **steeljaw** from behind:: WHOOSH! Slush ball to the cranium! ::grabs snowboard for a quick escape:: ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/6 "2000-12-11T16:54:13Z")
::rundogrun’s snowboard trips a trap set by Wolverine:: HaHa sucker! ::A barage of questionable snowballs falls on rundogrun from above:: ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/7 "2000-12-11T17:04:33Z")
:::Observes that Wolvie’s laughin’ place is directly beneath snow-laden pine tree. Grabs outer-most bottom branch and gives tree a VIGOROUS shake. Wolvie discovers what 3 feet of snow falling in 2 seconds feels like.::: Mmmmfhh ffummmah FUMF! :::Tygr pulls scarf from front of mouth::: GOTCHA! :::Chucks snowball in steeljaw’s direction.::: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-HOO! Snowballs? Why, that’s what TYGR’s do the BEST! ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/8 "2000-12-11T17:09:55Z")
Tygr’s best is never as good as Wolverine’s because he’s the best at what he does. ::Thinking about how to get back at Tygr:: Take that spritle! ::Chucks ice ball at spritle:: ::spritle falls to the ground knocked out:: **HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!** ::Still thinking on how to get back at Tygr:: ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/9 "2000-12-11T17:15:17Z")
:::pcubed, remembering the last snowball fight he was in, and the berating he received for using the Holy Snowball of Antioch, chooses to wait in the lodge hot tub with the Dunkacino babe. Mmmmm…mochariffic. :::watches out window as fellow dopers pummel each other. ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/10 "2000-12-11T17:27:40Z")
::sits aloft a tree, dressed all in white, snowball-gun patiently resting upon her knees:: _She whispers "Now, to wait for the right victim_ ::waits and waits and waits and waits and…:: ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/11 "2000-12-11T17:44:19Z")
::removes snowboard from ass:: Hey **Wolverine**! Catch! ::lobs a large snowball high in the air in Wolverine’s direction. Hits him dead on with a second one when Wolverine looks up:: Ha ha! Oldest trick in the book! ::notices high arcing snowball landing in tree branches over **Melpomene’s** head, spraying her with snow shrapnel.:: Wheeeee! Two for two! ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/12 "2000-12-11T18:04:42Z")
::Dizzy from rundogrun’s latest hit, Wolverine runs over to the shed. Using gloves, he picks up a can of red paint and pours over some snow. Forms special snowballs that he hurls at **Melpomene** marking her for everybody to see.:: I’ll get you yet Tygr!! ::Runs away for a couple of hours to work on his plan.:: ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/13 "2000-12-11T18:08:19Z")
::and waits and waits and…suddenly notices a stray snowball arcing up over her head and coming straight down _SPLAT_:: “Damn it! I can’t see! The snow is in my eyes!!” ::begins firing rapidly all around her, snowball bits smacking **spritle** , **Wolverine** and **rundogrun** , then falling out of the tree in the process:: ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/14 "2000-12-11T18:14:31Z")
::lies on the ground, covered in red snow and stares up at the sky:: “I _knew_ I should have just stayed home! Or gone bowling with the other Newbies…” _urgle_ ::closes her eyes and pretends she’s dead, hoping to trip some unsuspecting passerby:: ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/15 "2000-12-11T18:30:22Z")
::Sees **Melpomene** lying on the ground in a pool of outwardly spreading red. Rushes, stricken, to her side.:: “Wolvie, if you’ve harmed her, I’ll hunt you for the rest of your days!” ::Crushes Melpomene’s still form to his chest, searching for signs of life. She immediately begins flailing about. Tygr realizes she was playing 'possum and drops her back onto the snow. Grabs shovel and dumps heaping load of snow directly onto her face.:: “No time-outs!! …and no nap-breaks, neither!” ::Realizes there’s SOMEthing he still owes Wolvie back for, tho’ he isn’t sure what. Fills a backpack full of gravel-slushballs and tears into the woods along Wolvie’s last known trajectory. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/16 "2000-12-11T19:13:29Z")
::Waking up dazed, looking around for who clocked him, sneaks up behind **Wolverine** :: So I bent down 'n I reached down ‘n I scooped down An’ I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly… YELLOW SNOW The deadly Yellow Snow from right there where the huskies go Whereupon I proceeded to take that mitten full Of the deadly Yellow Snow Crystals And rub it all into [**Wolverine’s**] beady little eyes With a vigorous circular motion Hitherto unknown to the people in this area, But destined to take the place of THE MUD SHARK In your mythology Here it goes now… THE CIRCULAR MOTION…(rub it)!! Revenge is a dish best served cold, or something like that! ::Spritle walks off to the lodge, anticipating a dry shirt and a warm Buttered Rum:: ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/17 "2000-12-11T19:21:36Z")
::lies on the ground, snow burying her face:: “Hmmrmfmfphh!!! Ihrm pffhrm!” ::brushes the snow off her face:: “I said - Damnit **Tygr**!!! I’ll get you!” ::sheds her red clothing, changes into her second snowsuit, cleverly hidden within the tree trunk:: _muttering_ “Oh you are soooo dead Tyg. You will rue the day you messed with the Muse of Tragedy!” _cackle_cackle\* ::grabs her snow-rifle, loads the barrel & her pockets with some leftovers of the Deadly Yellow Snow and trudges off in the direction of Tygr’s footprints:: ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/18 "2000-12-11T19:38:49Z")
::not wanting ANYTHING to do with yellow snow, instead opts for grabbing a bucket of snow and dumping it into **pcubed’s** hot tub.:: ::tosses a couple of snowballs at a half-dressed **Melpomene** on the way.:: Oooooo…I bet THAT’S cold! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/19 "2000-12-11T20:06:04Z")
**AAAAAAAHHHHH!** ::: Jumps out of now tainted hot-tub (that’s okay anyhow as his skin was getting all pruny), staggers to the shower (shouldn’t have had all those rum spiked mulled ciders), scrubs all yellow snow remnants from skin. **rundogrun** , as soon as I sober up I will have my revenge! but first, a massage ::: saunters off towards the spa, begins formulating evil plan, wonders if the lodge has a trebuchet he can borrow… ---
**Author:** ![Wolverine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wolverine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolverine)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007/20 "2000-12-11T20:14:18Z")
::Wolverine is writhing in utter anguish for what seems eternity. Then when **spritle** is far enough away, he smiles. He gets up and takes off the mask that shielded him from the dreaded yellow snow and THE CIRCULAR MOTION.:: Little does **spritle** know that I’ve hidden a bomb along the mountain to create an avalanche to destroy the lodge. ::A loud boom goes off in the distance. Wolverine smiles some more. He hears screams, presumably from **pcubed**.:: Now’s it’s time to launch my retaliation on **Tygr**. I’m ready and I have the means. ::He retreats further into the woods.:: [side note]I know that avalanches are unfair because they’re not snowballs. But with **spritle** headed in that direction and with **pcubed** relaxing there, action needed to be taken so that no one who enters this thread may be safe. If you desire more creativity, assume I put the world’s largest snowball on a catapult and demolished the lodge that way. Happy? Thought so.[/side note] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/snowball-fight/45007.md?page=2)