# So a bear walks into a bar **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 28, 2020, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206 "2020-08-28T06:36:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/1 "2020-08-28T06:36:16Z")
Actually, no, but close. A bear walks into a liquor store, in this case: > **[Bear walks into liquor store to the shock of owner and customer | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bear-revelstoke-liquor-store-wildsafe-bc-1.5703061)** > > The owner of a Revelstoke, B.C., liquor store said a bear surprised him and one of his customers when it walked through the open door of his shop this week. But the owner also owns the bar next door, appropriately named the “Grizzly Sports Bar and Grill”. The bear apparently turned that down, or maybe was denied entry, on the grounds of being a bear and all, and went for the liquor store instead. Fortunately, this was in Canada, and the bear was Canadian, so the owner just politely asked him to leave. The bear turned around and quietly walked out, probably muttering “sorry” under his breath. Hey, this category is called “Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share”, ain’t it? 😀 ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/2 "2020-08-28T07:19:08Z")
That’s barely news at least he didn’t bruin the place on his way out. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/3 "2020-08-28T07:24:20Z")
Does a bear buy beer in the woods? Apparently not! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/4 "2020-08-28T07:29:10Z")
No, the bear had no ID. And there was no way that bear was 19. He just gave up and went to another store that wasn’t so strict about ID requirements. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/5 "2020-08-28T08:46:39Z")
“Hey, Boo Boo. Where’s the pic-a-nic basket?” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/6 "2020-08-28T09:28:17Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Does a bear buy beer in the woods? > > Apparently not! This story also answers other important questions of our time: Q: Is a bear Catholic? A: No. Good Catholics don’t go wandering around liquor stores in the middle of the night. You’ll never see the Pope doing that. Q: Does a bear shit in a liquor store? A: No. As we can see here, the bear leaves in a very proper fashion after his shopping is done, leaving the store as pristine as he found it, and shits in the woods when he gets home. Hence the perennially popular question, “does a bear shit in the woods?” can finally now be answered absolutely in the affirmative. ---
**Author:** ![Hilary\_Algar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilary_algar/32/4282_2.png) [@Hilary\_Algar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilary_Algar)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/7 "2020-08-28T17:11:39Z")
_So a talking bear walks into a bar with his owner. The owner states that his bear can talk. The bartender indicates that he is willing to wager $5 that the bear cannot talk._ _So , the bear’s owner goes to the restroom and the bear initiates a conversation with the bartender._ _When the bear’s owner returns from the restroom, he finds his bear in the street doing something._ _The bear’s owner says to his bear, “I have never seen you doing anything like that before!”_ _The bear replies, “I’ve never had $5 before.”_ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/8 "2020-08-28T17:32:30Z")
A bear walks into a bar, bleeding heavily from the mouth. The bartender asked the bear if he needed medical help. The bear makes a writing gestures and the bartender hands him a pen and pad. The bear writes “I’m looking for the man who shot my maw.” ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/9 "2020-08-28T17:49:47Z")
Bear patrol tax? Let the bears pay that. I pay the Homer tax. Dad, that’s homeOWNER tax. ---
**Author:** ![a6ka97](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@a6ka97](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a6ka97)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/10 "2020-08-28T19:58:42Z")
Probably looking for some Hamm’s beer. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2020, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/11 "2020-08-28T20:08:28Z")
Or how about some Hamm and Bubbly? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/BDKgo3jFwFE/maxresdefault.jpg "Hamm & Bublé - SNL") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDKgo3jFwFE) ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/12 "2020-08-29T00:34:25Z")
I work in an area where black bears are common and I can tell you that I have yet to see bear shit in the woods. I have seen plenty of it in the middle of the gravel road. Given the preference they obviously prefer to crap out in the open. FWIW, pooed blueberries are not fun to clean off the truck. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/13 "2020-08-29T02:59:43Z")
> [@Hilary\_Algar](#): > > … he finds his bear in the street doing something. “Hey, it’s Bart” “And he’s doing stuff!” [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi4\_R9irtHA&feature=youtu.be&t=12](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi4_R9irtHA&feature=youtu.be&t=12) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/14 "2020-08-29T09:25:17Z")
Virtual Railfan has a live cam in Revelstoke, on one of the main streets in town. A bear has turned up several times on the cam in the past few weeks; wonder if it’s the same one? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/15 "2020-08-29T10:42:36Z")
What if you should suddenly find yourself in the company of a dangerous animal which has become sentient, bear with me, and your only hope of rescue is to send a coded message? [Bear.With.Me](http://Bear.With.Me)! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/16 "2020-08-29T12:33:57Z")
**elbows** , when I clicked the link, it made my browser crash. Was [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CtiEpIDNsE) what you were thinking of? ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/17 "2020-08-29T12:53:23Z")
Guess he showed he had the right to [bear arms](https://schumanchu.eu/html/r1/r1_00141bear~arms.html) by walking on them. The outcome could have been much worse for all involved. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2020, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/18 "2020-08-29T14:39:42Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > **elbows** , when I clicked the link, it made my browser crash. > > Was [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CtiEpIDNsE) what you were thinking of? Sorry, I have no idea why it’s a hyperlink, there’s zero reason for it to be. No idea what I did to create that. Wish I could undo it, but can’t figure that out either! Yikes! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2020, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/19 "2020-08-31T02:22:21Z")
Here’s that bear again, apparently now thoroughly drunk. At least, it looks like the same bear to me as the one in the liquor store surveillance camera: [![](https://i.cbc.ca/1.5705385.1598762922!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/16x9_780/coquitlam-crunch-black-bear-encounter-august-29-2020.jpg) ](https://i.cbc.ca/1.5705385.1598762922!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/16x9_780/coquitlam-crunch-black-bear-encounter-august-29-2020.jpg) This is why bears should not be allowed to purchase liquor. Yogi, or Bruno, or whatever the hell his name is, apparently sat up all night and much of the next morning drinking, and then went out and started pawing at women. Full story: > **[Black bear approaches, taps runner on popular Coquitlam, B.C., trail | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/black-bear-coquitlam-runner-1.5705377)** > > Conservation officers say they will try to trap a black bear that was filmed on Saturday tapping a runner with its paw on a popular trail in B.C.'s Lower Mainland. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2020, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206/20 "2020-08-31T02:30:16Z")
A bear walks into a bar and says, “I would like a…glass of beer, please.” The bartender says, “Certainly, but what’s with the pause?” The bear replies, I can’t help it, I was born with them. " [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-a-bear-walks-into-a-bar/919206.md?page=2)