# So about my balls... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659 "2001-07-08T02:53:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/1 "2001-07-08T02:53:15Z")
My new sig has caused some emails. It is a line taken _way_ out of context from a conversation. But in response to the emails, I thought I would finally post about my teste buddies. I like my balls quite a lot. I’m especially fond of the left one. Not so much because he’s better than the one on the right, but because the phrase “my left nut” or “my left ball” just _sounds_ better than the phrase “my right ball/nut.” That latter phrase seems to sound as if one testicle is more correct than the other, which is simply not the case. So I tend to include my left testicle in conversation more often than the one on the right. I favor my left teste as a simple matter of aural pleasure and how well it rolls off the tongue. And that would be _my_ right-hand side, not your right facing me. However, don’t tell my right nut that the left is my favorite, as I don’t want to cause any animosity or jealousy between my balls. A rivalry would not be beneficial. It would be especially hard on my dick, who always gets caught in the middle of testicular disputes. Anyone else have anything to share? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/2 "2001-07-08T02:59:15Z")
Yes, I do like the way my left nut rolls off your tongue. Please do it more often. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/3 "2001-07-08T02:59:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **It would be especially hard on my dick** Man, did I ever misread THAT one… I also prefer my left nut, and after this, plan to use the phrase more often. Soon I shall have mobs of people lusting after my blood. And not in the good, blood-making-tissue-erect kind of way, either. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/4 "2001-07-08T03:01:45Z")
I’m thinking of making a movie entitled “My Left Nut.” The film would be all about the great things I’ve acheived with my left nut. It would star Daniel Day Lewis, of course. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/5 "2001-07-08T03:07:12Z")
Just call me the Madam Cleo of the SDMB. 🙂 [bad Jamaican accent] Whoo, dat Crunchy will tell de Traight Dope about his sack. See I pull de two of pentacles and dat’s the card of talkin about yer teabags! [/bad Jamaican accent] I’ll just go somewhere and try NOT to think about Crunchy’s balls. ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/6 "2001-07-08T03:10:52Z")
I’m a sailor and have no qualms about bring my right nut into a conversation, except when I do, I refer to it as my **starboard nut**. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/7 "2001-07-08T03:13:22Z")
Oooh. Now starboard nut has a nice ring to it. It also sounds much better than talking about your **port nut**. ---
**Author:** ![mr\_john](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@mr\_john](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr_john)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/8 "2001-07-08T03:18:10Z")
well, this is weird as hell. an lemmee tell you hell is definatly weird, what with the flames and screaming and whips anbd “breaks over” and the anbd’s and the turning inside out and " Throw Feces at Dante Day" tee shirts and all. . i was gonna respond to a totally another thread, I dunno even what this one is about, but then when i did log in all a sudden i am at this one. So what is this one about? Can i add to it? Or does my mere presence subtract from the subject at hand, or at least two fingers? So, how are ya? What’s the buzz? bye. ALBATROSS! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/9 "2001-07-08T03:18:58Z")
I have this strange tendency to utter the following phrase to the friends of mine that happen to be chicks: **Mah ballz itch . . .**. Tripler Do they get scratched? Only by _my_ hand. . . 😕 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/10 "2001-07-08T03:19:52Z")
I dunno about that. A **port nut** sounds like a tasty late-night snack. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/11 "2001-07-08T03:22:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*I dunno about that. A **port nut** sounds like a tasty late-night snack. \*\* Well now, Let me introduce you to my port nut. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/12 "2001-07-08T03:45:36Z")
I would think that port nuts would taste like the candy that **jarbabyj** was so disappointed with. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/13 "2001-07-08T03:58:12Z")
Great. I’m trying NOT to think about Crunchy’s balls 🙂 Now I’m visualizing them dripping with red wine. ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/14 "2001-07-08T05:26:48Z")
Rather than worry about the implications of the port nut, you might want to call it your larboard nut. To my mind that sounds even better than the starboard nut. Of course, then we’re right back where we started, playing favorites to the left. Of course, if you’re willing to embrace the whole nautical theme, you could always refer to your leeward nut, thus leaving it up to the wind direction and giving each nut equal time. However, I find most people, when concerning themselves with testicles, are loathe to let wind break into the matter. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/15 "2001-07-08T05:41:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > > I favor my left teste as a simple matter of aural pleasure and how well it rolls off the tongue. > > And that would be _my_ right-hand side, not your right facing me. > \*\* I’m sorry, must be the beer but I’m still confused here. Should I bring my usual righty glove or invest in a lefty glove? I’ll be able to remeber this because my nipple on my right breast, affectionatley called Chesty, is something of a reminder for me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/16 "2001-07-08T06:11:12Z")
I’m confused here. I didn’t think frogs HAD balls? Don’t they like…lay eggs or something? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![mr\_john](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@mr\_john](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr_john)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/17 "2001-07-08T06:16:38Z")
Seems to me we are neglecting the larboard nut. ALBATROSS! ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/18 "2001-07-08T07:11:44Z")
And now a word from our sponsor — Nads! ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/19 "2001-07-08T07:31:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > **I’m confused here. I didn’t think frogs HAD balls? Don’t they like…lay eggs or something?** But the guys still have to make the ol’ baby batter to get the eggs a’goin. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659/20 "2001-07-08T08:14:07Z")
Enough already! Now I’m going to dream about Crunchy’s balls. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-about-my-balls/71659.md?page=2)