# So aliens land. What do you ask for? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127 "2002-03-31T23:56:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![partly\_warmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@partly\_warmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partly_warmer)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/1 "2002-03-31T23:56:17Z")
You’re driving by yourself on a dark night. Out in a field you notice strange flashing lights. Overcome with curiosity, and a desire to be in the history books, you walk out. It’s a spaceship, and there’s an alien outside, taking soil samples. You approach, do the obvious things about finding out whether it can communicate. You discover it’s there for a half hour, never to return. What do you ask it? ---
**Author:** ![Cull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@Cull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cull)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/2 "2002-04-01T00:00:20Z")
Care for some Reeses Pieces? ---
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/3 "2002-04-01T00:12:17Z")
“Can I go with you?” ---
**Author:** ![Victory\_Candescence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Victory\_Candescence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victory_Candescence)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/4 "2002-04-01T00:14:01Z")
I’d try to find out how it got here. If we humans could get star-traveling technology, we could travel to the stars. (Please forgive the bad wording.) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/5 "2002-04-01T00:46:39Z")
Hit it over the head with a big stick and steal its spaceship. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/6 "2002-04-01T01:33:18Z")
“How’s Elvis?” ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/7 "2002-04-01T01:35:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*Hit it over the head with a big stick and steal its spaceship. \*\* \ Hit it over the head with a big stick and steal its wallet.\ Or… “Did you decontaminate yourself, so your micro-organisms don’t wreak havoc on Earth’s ecosystem? If not, can we pretty-please have a translated copy of your biomedical databases? So we can survive, I mean.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dreamer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/8 "2002-04-01T01:38:42Z")
“Ummm…do you have a name?” ---
**Author:** ![Broken\_Doll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Broken\_Doll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broken_Doll)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/9 "2002-04-01T02:23:31Z")
“So, uh…how YOU doin’?” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Palve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Palve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palve)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/10 "2002-04-01T02:42:02Z")
I’d try to buy the spaceship by telling him that pocket lint is a valuable commodity on this planet. ---
**Author:** ![Grok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Grok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grok)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/11 "2002-04-01T02:45:34Z")
License and registration. ---
**Author:** ![heptapod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@heptapod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heptapod)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/12 "2002-04-01T02:51:17Z")
I’d steal the ship. Hopefully the controls will be simple enough to enable me to steal the vehicle. ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/13 "2002-04-01T03:27:54Z")
[giggle] I’d first see if they are any aliens I might know or could trust. If so, then I’d see if they have the spare parts I need so that I can fix my busted space ship and get the hell off of this planet. If they don’t have the parts I need, then I’d ask them for a lift home. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/14 "2002-04-01T04:01:45Z")
Could you not put that there? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/15 "2002-04-01T05:03:09Z")
Same thing I always ask for: Can I have a $100,000 in small unmarked bills? ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/16 "2002-04-01T08:41:00Z")
The secret of fusion (or other forms of clean) power. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/17 "2002-04-01T11:10:27Z")
I’d ask them for a big barrel of spice. It sounds like it might go well with coffee and a slice of toast, and I get freaky blue eyes and psychic powers to boot. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/18 "2002-04-01T11:26:43Z")
Do you swallow? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/19 "2002-04-01T11:37:35Z")
> [@](#): > > “So, uh…how YOU doin’?” **WAZZAAAAAAAP?!?** ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127/20 "2002-04-01T12:14:23Z")
Some way to log on to its internet. That would be worth buying my own satellite transmitter (transponder?) for. And I’d stay in touch with it over email, and fix my friends up with its good-looking cousins. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-aliens-land-what-do-you-ask-for/101127.md?page=2)