# So, apparently I worship Ba'al **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 16, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047 "2012-02-16T18:41:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/21 "2012-02-17T15:06:29Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Didn’t that same thing happen on a Valentine’s Day episode of _I Love Lucy?_ I can’t believe you didn’t go for the “Lucille Ba’al” pun… ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/22 "2012-02-17T15:11:14Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Didn’t that same thing happen on a Valentine’s Day episode of _I Love Lucy?_ …and today we know “Little Ricky” as _Rick_…Santorum!" Paul Harvey,…goodday! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/23 "2012-02-17T15:26:06Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Why would you sacrifice babies to a fertility god? Blood makes the crops grow! ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/24 "2012-02-17T15:31:17Z")
This calls for a real Ba’al-buster. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/25 "2012-02-17T15:32:36Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Yesterday on the train I overheard the phrase “I love you bitch but if you ever shit on me during sex again it’s over.” As I listened I discovered that the gentleman in question had requested anal sex from his beloved on Valentine’s Day. She decided to grant him this favor and during the act lost some control and, shall we say, shit all over his penis. I have never tried so hard not to laugh at something in my entire life. I’ve never heard anything so romantic. A real Hallmark moment. They should put that on a Valentine’s Day card. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/26 "2012-02-17T15:41:23Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > [Bunny, Ba’al Ball!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSHT8GnIxnQ) You know, [that really doesn’t surprise me…](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=dvB_Ck2zFzs#t=82s) ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/27 "2012-02-17T15:58:02Z")
Ba’al-er Status! ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/28 "2012-02-17T17:39:32Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I learned this on the bus yesterday afternoon. See, if you’re pro-choice, you are sacrificing babies to Ba’al. Of course. You didn’t see that in your Planned Parenthood pamphlet? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/29 "2012-02-17T21:33:13Z")
I once learned, on a bus, that some people will carry the newspaper clippings that have made them famous and show them to anybody that’s not in a position to walk away. Even if the clipping is for his arrest for stealing electricity. He was pleased as punch to explain that he would never be convicted because it had been a visiting friend who had plugged in the extension cord and run it from the laundry room to his apartment, where the electricity had been turned off for non-payment. He only used the lamp, he hadn’t plugged anything in, so he couldn’t be stealing. His girlfriend was shyly uncertain about the attention of strangers, but obviously proud of him. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/30 "2012-02-17T21:42:03Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I learned this on the bus yesterday afternoon. See, if you’re pro-choice, you are sacrificing babies to Ba’al. And it turns into a Ba’al Womb Blitz. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/31 "2012-02-17T23:52:18Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Even though you set yourself up, this deserves a golf clap. Amen. I saw that on mouseover and HAD to open the thread! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/32 "2012-02-18T16:11:22Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Weird, seems counter intuitive to me (assuming that Ba’al was a fertility god). Fertility of land, not of women. Personally, I think worshipping Mithras would work better, you can eat the bull after the sacrificial bull-blood shower… ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2012, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047/33 "2012-02-21T16:47:08Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > And it turns into a Ba’al Womb Blitz. Ouch. Bad pun. Thnx. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-apparently-i-worship-baal/613047.md?page=1)