# So Bruce Jener is LGBT - Who gives a F\*CK **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2015, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542 "2015-04-26T00:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/181 "2015-04-28T19:18:17Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I would have ignored this thread if it been a normal, hooray for **trannys** thread and aren’t they so cool. (bolding mine) Classy. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/182 "2015-04-28T20:38:16Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > You did notice the thread title? _So Bruce Jener is LGBT - Who gives a F_CK\* > > That’s an open invitation for people to say, **I don’t.** So then your answer should have been “I don’t” as opposed to something along the lines of “I don’t and most people can’t wait for this to all fade away”. Who gave you the right to speak for “most folks”? For the record, I don’t count as part of that group. In the future, speak for yourself. > [@aceplace57](#): > > I would have ignored this thread if it been a normal, hooray for trannys thread and aren’t they so cool. Because obviously everybody participating would be high-fiving themselves for being so progressive and understanding. I would have ignored the thread because I don’t thread shit. But this thread’s title invited everybody to the party. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/183 "2015-04-28T20:52:44Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > You did notice the thread title? _So Bruce Jener is LGBT - Who gives a F_CK\* > > That’s an open invitation for people to say, **I don’t.** > > I would have ignored this thread if it been a normal, hooray for trannys thread and aren’t they so cool. Because obviously everybody participating would be high-fiving themselves for being so progressive and understanding. I would have ignored the thread because I don’t thread shit. But this thread’s title invited everybody to the party. For those of us actually dealing with transgender issues in our own families, there isn’t a lot of high-fiving going on. There’s a lot of gnashing of the teeth, combined with lost sleep and confusion. There’s unconditional love and support. There’s bewilderment, and initial denial. Then there’s acceptance and reflection on what really matters in life, and with loved ones. I would have been understanding about Bruce. I may not have watched any of the interview though. But since this issue directly affects my only son and since I know how difficult is was for him to finally accept what was going on, and to actually have the courage as a 14 year old to sit down and tell his parents! This is not an attention grabber; believe me, if my son came out and told me he was gay, I would have exhaled and said “whew!” I expected some really serious news from him, but not this. Take a step back and realize what families are having to deal with on this one. It blindsided me and still does. I don’t really ask for much from people I don’t know. But this topic deserves compassion. This wasn’t a choice my son made. This is something he knew for a very long time before finally having the courage to share it. It must have been eating him up inside for years. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/184 "2015-04-28T21:09:05Z")
This happened with a professional colleague of my father’s, and I must admit, at first I did not really understand it. Specifically, the person was married - to a woman - and they remained married after the change; also, the wife supported this decision, and indeed went into the marriage (it was a second marriage, late in life) knowing that this was the intention. To my mind, this didn’t make sense: if one wanted to be a woman, why would she want to be married to one? Wouldn’t one want relations with men? Also, “he” was a conventionally handsome man, but “she” wasn’t a conventionally good-looking woman - not at all. The revelation was that this wasn’t about sexual relations necessarily, but rather, about self-image. The wife supported the change because her relationship was with the _person_, who felt better and happier after the change. My dad’s reaction was interesting and instructive: he basically didn’t react. The joke in our family was that this was just another example of my dad’s famous cluelessness (i.e., ‘he didn’t even notice when his colleage went from male to female’) but that wasn’t it at all - it sprung from his essential small-c conservatism: in his opinion, people have the right to do with themselves as they want, so long as they aren’t harming others, and it is none of his business - so he won’t comment unless he is asked to. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Baron\_Skinley\_Von\_Clipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Skinley_Von_Clipper)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/185 "2015-04-28T21:20:58Z")
“So Bruce Jener is LGBT - Who gives a F\*CK” WTF? He’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender? WTF? ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/186 "2015-04-28T21:44:41Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > So am I but, not having the intelligence of a lesser monkey, I can be concerned about multiple things at the same time. Screw you ! I said was concerned about what was going around in the world and that is more than one thing ! It looks like you are the lesser monkey here! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/187 "2015-04-28T21:58:27Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > The poster was talking about the testicles, not the kids. Oh, good Lord, I’m an idiot. > [@Teach-me-not](#): > > Apologies to **Aquadementia** (hope I spelled it right). Ditto. So sorry for being a knee-jerk dingbat. > [@stpauler](#): > > For someone who doesn’t care and doesn’t want to see this and would rather focus on something more “newsworthy” and is claiming that “most folks don’t care”, you sure are repeating this notion that you don’t care. > > Will you be back tomorrow to post how you and most everyone else doesn’t care as well? Yes. It’s always amusing to watch the usual suspects (this may be the first time I’ve ever gotten to use this – yay!) go on and on about how much _they just don’t care, dammit!_ No, really, they don’t. Along with spewing insults, I’m sure they’ll tell you so for several more pages. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/188 "2015-04-28T22:58:16Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > So am I but, not having the intelligence of a lesser monkey, I can be concerned about multiple things at the same time. > [@purplehearingaid](#): > > Screw you ! I said was concerned about what was going around in the world and that is more than one thing ! It looks like you are the lesser monkey here! To both of you: while this is an emotional topic for a lot of people, it does not excuse personal insults. Knock it off. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/189 "2015-04-28T23:32:02Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I would have ignored this thread if it been a normal, hooray for **trannys** thread and aren’t they so cool. (bolding mine) Dismissively throwing out a term which is commonly used as a slur is, at best, inappropriate for this thread. Don’t do this again. No warning issued. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/190 "2015-04-28T23:59:33Z")
Sorry. I didn’t know tranny was a banned word. I thought it was commonly used to abbreviate the much longer and harder to spell transsexual. I Won’t use it again on the SDMB if it’s considered somehow offensive and not an abbreviation. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/191 "2015-04-29T00:02:24Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Sorry. I didn’t know tranny was a banned word. I thought it was commonly used to abbreviate the much longer and harder to spell transsexual. > > I Won’t use it again on the SDMB if it’s considered somehow offensive and not an abbreviation. It’s fine for talking about the coupling of engine power to the drive shaft though. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/192 "2015-04-29T00:08:37Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Sorry. I didn’t know tranny was a banned word. I thought it was commonly used to abbreviate the much longer and harder to spell transsexual. > > I Won’t use it again on the SDMB if it’s considered somehow offensive and not an abbreviation. It is considered to be extremely offensive, which you seem to have understood given the way you used it. Offensively. Neither transgender nor transexual are at all difficult to spell. Nor are they particularly difficult to say. I would hope that you wouldn’t use it _anywhere_, not just on this message board. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/193 "2015-04-29T00:30:01Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > It’s fine for talking about the coupling of engine power to the drive shaft though. I thought about reporting the use of the word because I remembered an earlier discussion about it being inappropriate hate speech, but when I did a search, every thread that came up was using it in the automotive sense. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/194 "2015-04-29T00:37:07Z")
I think that one of the toughest challenges for parents of transgender kids is that most of us try to raise our kids in ways that prepare them for life’s many challenges. We provide them with love and guidance year after year with hopes that this will make things a bit easier when they go out into the world. Preparing oneself or them for something like this - for what’s to come, is not usually (if ever) in the cards. It’s like being blind-sighted. And along with that comes a slur of emotions - confusion, lack of understanding, sadness, a feeling of loss, fear, anger, doubt, guilt…the list goes on. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/195 "2015-04-29T00:48:54Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > For those of us actually dealing with transgender issues in our own families, there isn’t a lot of high-fiving going on. There’s a lot of gnashing of the teeth, combined with lost sleep and confusion. There’s unconditional love and support. > > There’s bewilderment, and initial denial. Then there’s acceptance and reflection on what really matters in life, and with loved ones. > > I would have been understanding about Bruce. I may not have watched any of the interview though. But since this issue directly affects my only son and since I know how difficult is was for him to finally accept what was going on, and to actually have the courage as a 14 year old to sit down and tell his parents! > > This is not an attention grabber; believe me, if my son came out and told me he was gay, I would have exhaled and said “whew!” I expected some really serious news from him, but not this. > > Take a step back and realize what families are having to deal with on this one. It blindsided me and still does. > > I don’t really ask for much from people I don’t know. But this topic deserves compassion. This wasn’t a choice my son made. This is something he knew for a very long time before finally having the courage to share it. It must have been eating him up inside for years. I understand it’s a difficult situation for you or anyone dealing with this issue within their family. I am trying hard to stay neutral as possible. That’s the best that I can do. There’s a lot of raw hatred out there for people that are different. It’s very dangerous for any cross dresser in the rural parts of this country. There’s a lot of good ole boy rednecks out there. I’ve never agreed with that attitude. It’s pointless and stupid to hate. Life is too short to hate anybody for anything. Everybody is just trying to get through life the best they can with whatever cards life dealt them. But, I’m not going to be hypocritical and claim I’ve jumped fully onto the transsexual train either. Staying neutral and trying the best I can to keep an open mind is the most I can offer. At least for now. A few years from now it will be even easier to fully accept. No doubt, it’s a difficult issue that will take time and reflection to gain widespread acceptance. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/196 "2015-04-29T01:20:46Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Yes. It’s always amusing to watch the usual suspects (this may be the first time I’ve ever gotten to use this – yay!) go on and on about how much _they just don’t care, dammit!_ No, really, they don’t. Along with spewing insults, I’m sure they’ll tell you so for several more pages. In fact, _I don’t care so much, I am going to search and post news stories about other people who don’t care!_ **Leaffan** , when my relatives were going through this, the brother of the transgendered individual really suffered. He was _ **angry** _. Angry as I’ve ever seen anyone. He refused to talk about it and would leave the room if anyone else did. He felt hurt and betrayed. Eventually that gave way to immense grief. Essentially, the brother he’d had all his life had died. Eventually, still, he got to the point that many do after a true death, realizing that he had all of the same wonderful, complicated memories to cherish, but with the added benefit of having the essence of that person still alive to make new memories. These days the siblings are as close as ever, and “my sister” rolls off his tongue like he’s been saying it all his life. I wish a similarly process for you and yours. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/197 "2015-04-29T01:31:34Z")
> [@Jinx](#): > > It matters to me because I grew up with Jenner on every box of Wheaties. All the kids were told to “Eat Your Wheaties” and grow up to be just like him. I mean, he was iconic to Wheaties and power like Popeye was to spinach. This is heartbreaking IMHO. But, more than that, it is puzzling to me if he felt THAT uncomfortable in a man’s body, how could he fake it and excel at it? Have you ever tried to do something you hate? He should have been a depressed recluse, not a public figure. Why would he strive to be such a super athlete? None of this makes any sense. I’m sorry, but I need a lot of time to accept this. The whole world is turning upside down. How did he "fake"anything? The fact that Bruce is transgender doesn’t take away his accomplishments as an athlete. He still won the decathalon. He didn’t cheat. Or can’t transgendered people be athletes? :dubious: Oh, and **Leaffan** , good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/198 "2015-04-29T01:32:17Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > In fact, _I don’t care so much, I am going to search and post news stories about other people who don’t care!_ > > **Leaffan** , when my relatives were going through this, the brother of the transgendered individual really suffered. He was _ **angry** _. Angry as I’ve ever seen anyone. He refused to talk about it and would leave the room if anyone else did. He felt hurt and betrayed. Eventually that gave way to immense grief. Essentially, the brother he’d had all his life had died. Eventually, still, he got to the point that many do after a true death, realizing that he had all of the same wonderful, complicated memories to cherish, but with the added benefit of having the essence of that person still alive to make new memories. These days the siblings are as close as ever, and “my sister” rolls off his tongue like he’s been saying it all his life. > > I wish a similarly process for you and yours. Thanks. It’s taken a full year before I actually was able to mention it here. And Bruce Jenner was the catalyst. Go figure. You remember back when Rock Hudson, Magic Johnson and Freddy Mercury were outed as gay (primarily due to AIDS)? We may be reaching another tipping point. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/199 "2015-04-29T01:40:03Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > I understand it’s a difficult situation for you or anyone dealing with this issue within their family. I am trying hard to stay neutral as possible. That’s the best that I can do. There’s a lot of raw hatred out there for people that are different. While I wouldn’t say you’ve been full of hatred, you’ve hardly been neutral on the subject. If you were neutral you would have just answered the thread title with a post that said “I don’t”. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-bruce-jener-is-lgbt-who-gives-a-f-ck/718542/200 "2015-04-29T03:11:42Z")
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