# So ... But ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [July 16, 2013, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656 "2013-07-16T11:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/201 "2013-08-08T01:00:48Z")
So I covered the lens and winked at the Hawkguards. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/202 "2013-08-08T04:51:56Z")
But the Hawkguards thought I was flirting with them, and started getting amorous. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/203 "2013-08-08T15:06:03Z")
So we had wild, kinky avian sex for hours. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/204 "2013-08-08T15:32:00Z")
But I got feathers in places I didn’t know I had places. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2013, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/205 "2013-08-08T20:45:14Z")
So I went on line and ordered a state-of-the-art anti-feather machine. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/206 "2013-08-09T01:44:32Z")
But delivery to the spaceship would take several weeks, and I was itchy now! ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/207 "2013-08-10T23:55:58Z")
So since it was going to take so long, I hooked up with the Hawkguards again for round two and they scratched that itch real good. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/208 "2013-08-11T02:32:43Z")
But by then I was nearly deaf from their ecstatic squawking. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/209 "2013-08-12T12:40:58Z")
So, having seduced my guards, I took command of the ship. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/210 "2013-08-12T12:53:07Z")
But that is when I noticed the ship was heading straight for a space-iceberg. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/211 "2013-08-12T13:02:49Z")
So I whipped out my blowtorch. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/212 "2013-08-12T13:03:56Z")
But fire doesn’t burn in space, 'cause there’s no air. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/213 "2013-08-12T13:05:56Z")
So I said (quoting Homer Simpson): There’s an air and space museum. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/214 "2013-08-12T13:28:16Z")
But the museum was closed to prepare for a new exhibit of “Pigs In Spaaaace”. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/215 "2013-08-12T14:46:38Z")
So, I went to the local theater, to see a matinee of “You’re Next.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/216 "2013-08-12T14:51:16Z")
But the popcorn was toxic. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/217 "2013-08-12T14:52:12Z")
So I went with red Twislers. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/218 "2013-08-12T15:35:14Z")
But one of the Hawkguards pedantically reminded me, “They’re spelled ‘Twizzlers.’” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/219 "2013-08-12T15:39:52Z")
So I realized the Hawkguard had to be a human in disguise! ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656/220 "2013-08-12T16:56:56Z")
But I had to forget about that and run into the theater, because I didn’t want to miss the 20 minutes of previews and trailers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-but/663656.md?page=12)