# So-called beautiful celebrities you find UGLY **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313 "2002-04-12T20:41:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/81 "2002-04-16T06:57:52Z")
**Tom Waits** : Everyone goes on about how good he looks. Maybe it’s just that I’m a straight guy, but… Okay, _okay, [sub]okay…[/sub]_ **Britney Spears** : No real personality, no individual style. Everyone goes on about how good she looks, but she looks like she was spit out the end orifice of a Pop Star processing machine. Oh, she was? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/82 "2002-04-16T07:39:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hail Ants \* > \*\* You might as well try and say that **Jennifer Connelly** is ugly (go ahead, I dare ya!) > > \*\* No one would dare. Not on MY watch!!!:mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/83 "2002-04-16T07:58:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by mooch_ > I think I stand alone, but Madonna looks like she came in third place in a shovel fight. ROTF! Best line I’ve heard or read in about a week. Concerning Christina Ricci: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by PRNYouth_ > It worries me that there might be someone out there who considers her attractive. (widdershins sheepishly raises his hand) ---
**Author:** ![SkorpKing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SkorpKing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkorpKing)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/84 "2002-04-16T08:13:24Z")
"Not that she’s considered “beautiful” by any stretch of the imagination but allow me to take a pot shot at Courtney Love . God, I think she is just the nastiest, skankiest, BLECCH." It amazes me that only one other person said this…I think if she were any uglier, she would not only HAVE to kill herself but appolgise to the whole world for actually being on TV. On a different note: I’m not sure anyone said Tyra Banks…Can we please get an Ethiopian to pose in skimpy bakinis PLEASE??? Just thought I’d throw that on out there. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/85 "2002-04-16T09:51:41Z")
Funny, I thought Tyra Banks was American… is “Ethiopian” indicative of her weight or appearance? She looks [well fed](http://www.thebabecentral.com/pics/TyraBanks/banks11.jpg) to me. :rolleyes: So, you think she’s unattractive. Fine. There’s better ways to put it, though. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/86 "2002-04-16T10:02:17Z")
Not really UGLY, but I don’t see what the big deal is over Sarah Michelle Gellar. She’s got a decent body but her face is plain and funny looking to me. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/87 "2002-04-16T10:25:32Z")
**Gwyneth Paltrow** Once read a brilliantly-written, scathing column on the publicist-created “myth” of Gwneth’s “world class” beauty. The columnist rightly drew attention to her “cold, fishy eyes.” God the woman is horrible, inside AND out. There is nothing nice, or pleasant, or talented about her, she just happens to be someone’s daughter, tall and thin. **Tom Cruise** Fking sad ugly short up-himself screwed-up scientologist fkwit. SO ugly. Why did he and Nicole adopt? Because their own offspring would be TOO GENETICALLY HIDEOUS. Why doesn’t he come out as gay? Because he’s NOT GOOD-LOOKING ENOUGH TO BE GAY. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/88 "2002-04-16T11:59:43Z")
Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I’d do Courtney Love in heartbeat. Something about her is just…HOT. In a very slutty way, but that’s a good thing. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/89 "2002-04-16T12:44:33Z")
Gosh, I can’t believe I forgot Christina Ricci. Good actress and all, but that forehead looks like you could seat four for dinner. I can’t help but think that one day during an interview she’s going to suddenly cry out, “I am Beldar! We are from France!” I also wanted to throw in Lara Flynn Boyle, who used to be pretty but now looks like a resident of Dachau. Have a goddamn hamburger, Lara. ---
**Author:** ![tspallone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@tspallone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tspallone)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/90 "2002-04-16T17:53:35Z")
Saw your thread and I just had to put in what I’ve always thought but thought I was the only one - Julia Roberts. I agree with you. Shave her head and what have you got? If her pussy was on fire, I woudn’t piss on it!!! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/91 "2002-04-16T18:10:49Z")
He’s not famous butt I think **tspallone** ’s pretty ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/92 "2002-04-16T18:23:39Z")
I’m surprised no one’s mentioned **Sylvester Stallone** yet. He looks like a loaf of braided challah with a big meatball stuck to the top. And I have to agree with **Helen Hunt** and **Gwyneth Paltrow**. Helen looks like the too-tanned woman from _There’s Something about Mary_, and Gwyneth might as well be a popsicle stick with teeth. And **Minnie Driver’s** jaw makes me cringe. But how in the world did **Kate Winslet** or **Isabella Rosellini** make this list? I think they are the two most beautiful famous women in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/93 "2002-04-17T02:54:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Gwyneth Paltrow > Once read a brilliantly-written, scathing column on the publicist-created “myth” of Gwneth’s “world class” beauty. The columnist rightly drew attention to her “cold, fishy eyes.” God the woman is horrible, inside AND out. There is nothing nice, or pleasant, or talented about her, she just happens to be someone’s daughter, tall and thin. Oh God, please let me know where you found this article, or link it if you can. I would love to read it. What I really hate about Gwyneth is that fact that my beloved Vogue, which I’ve been reading for nearly a decade, is now her personal bitch. They’ve put her AND Renee Zellweger on the cover twice now. And Britney Spears. In the article, entitled, “The Power of an Icon,” we read about how Gwynnie has recently dropped those last ten pesky pounds (her macriobiotic diet was making her fat! Tee hee!). She hyperventilates over a pair of cashmere pants, describes how Daddy Dearest bought those diamonds she wore to the Oscars and how she wears them with PJs, and talks about how important her hair is. If it’s straight, she says, half the battle is over. There are simply no words. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/94 "2002-04-17T14:22:35Z")
Brad Pitt–I thought for sure I was the only woman in the world that thinks he’s a puke. He isn’t cute to me at all and most of his movies are so damn depressing that they make you want to go out and suck on an exhaust pipe. I was just asking my brother the other day if men found Penelope Cruz attractive, because what I saw of her in the ads for _ **Captain Corelli’s Mandolin** _ was not pretty at all! Burt Reynolds–OK, so he’s not exactly barf material, but he appeals to me not a bit! Meg Ryan–has that woman EVER been taught how to use a brush and comb??? Even when she was a kid in _ **As the World Turns** _, she looked as though she just got up and left the house without even looking in the mirror! Joan Collins. Lauren Bacall. Liz Taylor. Katherine Hepburn. Icky, icky, yucky, yucky. Rock Hudson–just can’t see the appeal! As for Mel Gibson, well I guess different strokes and all, but that man is SOOO hot to me! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/95 "2002-04-17T14:30:47Z")
**Gwyn Paltrow** : Fishy eyes? Yup! **Sly Stalone** : Looks like a bad anatomy illustration. **Harrison Ford** : Face like a used snow-tire **Brad Pitt** : I think someone streched him to about a foot too tall, and it shows. **Russell Crowe** : Am I alone in thinking that if you put him in a ‘wife beater’ shirt, and gave him a can of beer, he’d fit right in on “Cops”? As one of the bad guys? **Kevin Costner** : Another “used tire” face. **Michael Douglas** : His head looks like one of those dolls you make by carving up an apple and letting it dry out. **Anna Nicole Smith** : Hype, hype, who’s got the hype? She’s got a puffy face even when she’s _not_ size==obese. **Madonna** : Third place in a shovel fight? Sounds about right. **Katria Tom** (ESPN): I just saw her in Playboy. How the hell did she get in _there?!_ Cancer-dark fake tan, badly-done asymetric boob job; She’s got nothing to offer. **Cameron Diaz** : Another apple-doll head. Her scrawny neck makes me think “chicken neck”. Every time she smiles the cords in her neck jump out. Yech! **Julia Roberts** : Neigh! Neeiiigh! **Sarah Jessica Parker** : God, even the _horses_ think her face is too long! **Pam Anderson** : I have a _really_ difficult time understanding why the hell anyone bothered taking pictures of her. She looks like an inflatable sex doll. A cheap one. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/96 "2002-04-17T14:34:05Z")
Oh, I forgot **Celine Dione**. Another equine-face. ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/97 "2002-04-17T14:48:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\* > > Oh God, please let me know where you found this article, or link it if you can. I would love to read it. > > What I really hate about Gwyneth is that fact that my beloved Vogue, which I’ve been reading for nearly a decade, is now her personal bitch. They’ve put her AND Renee Zellweger on the cover twice now. And Britney Spears. > > In the article, entitled, “The Power of an Icon,” we read about how Gwynnie has recently dropped those last ten pesky pounds (her macriobiotic diet was making her fat! Tee hee!). She hyperventilates over a pair of cashmere pants, describes how Daddy Dearest bought those diamonds she wore to the Oscars and how she wears them with PJs, and talks about how important her hair is. If it’s straight, she says, half the battle is over. > > There are simply no words. \*\* Can’t find it anywhere and I’ve looked and looked! It was ages ago sadly. Oh it was a brilliant, brilliant article. You would have loved it! ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/98 "2002-04-17T19:36:15Z")
Gash, you peepul are catty. I’m laffing my ass off heeyah. This thread is hilarious. I like Cameron Diaz. She’s spunky, friendly, and has a great smile. Plus, I want those long legs wrapped around me while I do her standng up. I just wanna treat Pamela Anderson like a cheap slut. _wottabodyonherha?_ As for Nicole Kidman, the only thing I have against her is that she didn’t get naked in _To Die For_. But, to support the OP, I think Drew Barrymore is a dog. Plus, she’s got a whiny voice. Barbra Streisand is a f’n monster, just like in _South Park_. Madonna looks like a boxer. (Whether you think I mean dog or dude with gloves is up to you) Daniel Day Lewis looks like he fell from the ugly tree, hit every stick on the way down, then hit every stick again when he climbed back up. How come women go apeshit for him? ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/99 "2002-04-17T20:04:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tranquilis \* > **Russell Crowe** : Am I alone in thinking that if you put him in a ‘wife beater’ shirt, and gave him a can of beer, he’d fit right in on “Cops”? As one of the bad guys? I could not agree more. He looks like half the guys down at the local Feed and Seed. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313/100 "2002-04-17T23:54:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\ ***Josh Hartnett** - I’m sorry, but the guy looks _stupid._ He’s not ugly per se, he just looks like a Neanderthal with the sloping forehead and the heavy brow. I keep expecting him to scream “JOSH SMASH!” > > . \*\* Hahaha! Yah–I think he’s just creepy looking. Which worked in _The Virgin Suicides_ , but as a teen idol leading man? I can’t figure it out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-called-beautiful-celebrities-you-find-ugly/103313.md?page=6)