# So, can I borrow your book? Howsabout a pencil? A pen? Paper? Scantron?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 1, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844 "2003-10-01T03:51:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/1 "2003-10-01T03:51:29Z")
Seriously, how the hell did [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=214626) get posted **fourteen** times? I mean, Jesus Christ on a soda cracker, that’s seems unpossible!
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### Author:  [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/2 "2003-10-01T04:01:46Z")
Unpossible? Threads like that embiggen us all!
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/3 "2003-10-01T04:05:36Z")
That’s not a thread, it’s a freakin’ hawser!
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/4 "2003-10-01T04:09:35Z")
Wow, I jumped into this thread to suggest that a dodecapost is a new record.
However, I missed the top two of them. What the hell is that? qadecapost?
I hate it when hamsters and newbies conspire to confound my vocabulary with their unlikely antics.
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### Author:  [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/5 "2003-10-01T04:12:15Z")
Like a virgin…HEY!..except her submit button was prodded about fourteen times…
Like a virrrrgin… etc…
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### Author:  [@fushj00mang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fushj00mang)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/6 "2003-10-01T04:15:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Like a virgin…HEY!..except her submit button was prodded about fourteen times…
>
> Like a virrrrgin… etc…
BOO! HISS! GAG! Where’s Simon when you need him?
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### Author:  [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/7 "2003-10-01T04:18:15Z")
It looks like the Mods deleted all your evidence, dude.
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### Author:  [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/8 "2003-10-01T05:50:04Z")
Bummer, man.
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### Author:  [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/9 "2003-10-01T11:16:19Z")
But I read more into it. It wasn’t just a rant about being asked to borrow a book, or a pencil, or a pen, or a sheet of paper, or a Scantron® form.
No, there was an urgency that seeped through the multiple posting. A sense of angst-soaked desperation - mingled with frustration, of course - at the imposition of having to part with (or at least share) one’s school supplies. The inclusion of a Scantron® form in the subject line was, for this reader, the tip-off that the situation was grave, at least in the mind of the poster. For a Scantron® form is more than a mere pencil or piece of paper, or even a bottle of Liquid Paper®. A Scantron® form is both a testing and grading device, unique - and therefore, sacred - to its owner. It’s “make-or-break” as far as Scantron® is concerned, for the Scantron® doesn’t mince words like an aging hippie professor grading papers one by one, the mind wandering as the acid flashbacks fade in and out like the breaking waves on a biological-waste-ridden Jersey shore. _“Careful, Johnny. Don’t step on the needle…”_
_“Careful, **ILikeMadonna**. Don’t express individuality. Conform. Use the Scantron®. Enjoy the all-too-real yet discomforting security you find in its rigidity. No one will judge you but the Scantron® machine. No one. You’re safe with Scantron®.”_
The Scantron® is the speed to the professor’s psychedelics: you have your grade - one grade, in numbers, not letters - right there. No comments. No feedback.
Therefore, to borrow one’s Scantron® is akin to stealing one’s perceived right to a bottom-line scholastic - and societal, even - validation.
Hence the fourteen posts.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/10 "2003-10-01T11:59:19Z")
What exactly is a Scantron? I assume it’s some gizmo or other they have in the States that’s less common over here. I _would_ just look it up myself, but the last unfamiliar term I looked up a definition for was “Sybian”, and I had to lie down for a while after that …
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### Author:  [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/11 "2003-10-01T12:24:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Beagle \*
> \*\*Like a virgin…HEY!..except her submit button was prodded about fourteen times…
>
> Like a virrrrgin… etc… \*\*
HEY…you can push the button all you want and she might STILL be a virgin. Sheesh. Don’t you know anything about anatomy?
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### Author:  [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/12 "2003-10-01T12:26:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \*
> \*\*What exactly is a Scantron? I assume it’s some gizmo or other they have in the States that’s less common over here. I _would_ just look it up myself, but the last unfamiliar term I looked up a definition for was “Sybian”, and I had to lie down for a while after that … \*\*
It’s one of those test things where you carefully fill the little circle next to the correct answer (a, b, c, d) with a No. 2 pencil and it is run through a machine which grades it.
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/13 "2003-10-01T12:36:22Z")
When first I viewed the title I thought for sure it said ‘Scranton’.
I thought it was a Pennsylvania thing. ‘NO!, you may NOT borrow Scranton! And I see you eyeing Lancaster!’
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/14 "2003-10-01T12:40:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Hamadryad \*
> \*\*It’s one of those test things where you carefully fill the little circle next to the correct answer (a, b, c, d) with a No. 2 pencil and it is run through a machine which grades it. \*\*
Thank you. I’m enormously relieved to hear that.
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### Author:  [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/15 "2003-10-01T13:17:23Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \*
> \*\*the last unfamiliar term I looked up a definition for was “Sybian”, and I had to lie down for a while after that … \*\*
I think they make models where you can stand up, too.
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### Author:  [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/16 "2003-10-01T14:21:22Z")
I was still chuckling over **Steve** ’s comment when I got to **Spiff** ’s. Now my co-workers think I’m a lunatic.
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/17 "2003-10-01T15:09:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \*
> \*\*When first I viewed the title I thought for sure it said ‘Scranton’.
>
> I thought it was a Pennsylvania thing. ‘NO!, you may NOT borrow Scranton! And I see you eyeing Lancaster!’ \*\*
Anyone willing to put up with our little town is welcome to it. Just be effective.
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### Author:  [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/18 "2003-10-01T15:49:34Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \*
> \*\*When first I viewed the title I thought for sure it said ‘Scranton’.
>
> I thought it was a Pennsylvania thing. ‘NO!, you may NOT borrow Scranton! And I see you eyeing Lancaster!’ \*\*
Hey! You burning my river!
Oh wait, that was Cleveland. Never mind.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/19 "2003-10-01T16:08:02Z")
It was just after dark when the truck started down, the hill that leads into Scranton Pennsylvania
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### Author:  [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)
#### Post date: [October 1, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-can-i-borrow-your-book-howsabout-a-pencil-a-pen-paper-scantron/204844/20 "2003-10-01T16:32:41Z")
You don’t want to know what _I_ read instead of Scantron. If you do, let me just include the thought I wouldn’t borrow or lend a scrotum.
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