# So... Darth Vader will return in Ep. VII. How d'ya think they'll do it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 12, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822 "2012-11-12T20:55:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/41 "2012-11-13T02:47:00Z")
The good Jedi ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan will get in a fight, and Obi-Wan will kill Anakin’s ghost, then Anakin’s ghost’s ghost will be evil according to the inverse property of midichlorians. It will then appear to Luke as kind of an evil spirit mentor like Jack’s ghost dad in ‘Lost’, or those dead dudes in ‘Six Feet Under’, or ‘Sexy Six’ in Battlestar Galactica. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/42 "2012-11-13T02:52:12Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > “Luke, you’re my father.” That’s…improbable!! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/43 "2012-11-13T03:05:36Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > The good Jedi ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan will get in a fight, and Obi-Wan will kill Anakin’s ghost, then Anakin’s ghost’s ghost will be evil according to the inverse property of midichlorians. It will then appear to Luke as kind of an evil spirit mentor like Jack’s ghost dad in ‘Lost’, or those dead dudes in ‘Six Feet Under’, or ‘Sexy Six’ in Battlestar Galactica. “Luke, take THREE mints from the courtesy bowl! Do it! You know you want to!” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/44 "2012-11-13T03:16:35Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > The good Jedi ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan will get in a fight, and Obi-Wan will kill Anakin’s ghost, then Anakin’s ghost’s ghost will be evil according to the inverse property of midichlorians. It will then appear to Luke as kind of an evil spirit mentor like Jack’s ghost dad in ‘Lost’, or those dead dudes in ‘Six Feet Under’, or ‘Sexy Six’ in Battlestar Galactica. Good sir, that was brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing your twisted creativity with us. Now please, lock it away and don’t let Disney touch it. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/45 "2012-11-13T06:51:22Z")
I really hope that this is a round about way of getting Natalie Portman into the new movies, because otherwise it is a very very bad idea on par with George Lucas at his worst. If Vader has to be mentioned, it better be in passing, ideally with Jar Jar screaming _Darthy cut messa hand off._ ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/46 "2012-11-13T09:25:14Z")
They’ll also bring back Boba Fett as he’s pooped out the other end of the Sarlacc on the opposite side of Tatooine. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/47 "2012-11-13T09:44:38Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Somebody once pointed out that the aftermath of _Return of the Jedi_ was not going to be as wonderful as the Ewok dancing party would indicate. Yes, Palpatine and Vader are dead and the Death Star is blown up. But the Empire is still out there. There must be dozens of Admirals and Generals in command of intact Imperial forces who have no reason to surrender to the Rebel Alliance. Think of it as being like we killed Hitler in 1943 - it wouldn’t have ended WWII, it just would have created a power struggle in Berlin as Himmler and Goering and Goebbels and Bormann fought over who got to be the new Fuehrer. But we’ll likely skip over all that if Episode VII takes place 35-40 years after Return of the Jedi like it should. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/48 "2012-11-13T10:02:49Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > He may return as a Force Ghost to advise Luke. I think you’re mostly right. He’ll come back and sit on Jar Jar’s shoulder a la Jiminy Cricket. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/49 "2012-11-13T10:38:04Z")
The only way they can do this that won’t suck is to have the next sith use the Vader persona and gear as a means to inspire fear. Let’s face it, Vader was the public face of Imperial Tyranny for two decades. Having him ‘resurrected’ would be terrifying for the public at large (think Voldemort’s return in HP)…but there’s no way to actually have Anakin Skywalker be Darth Vader in a sequel in any possible way that doesn’t completely crap all over the entire existing SW universe. If they retcon his death, the movie will become the most hated of them all…it was the ENTIRE point of the first six films. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/50 "2012-11-13T12:13:32Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > Didn’t they just find a script writer for this like, two days ago? I’m a little sceptical of any leaked plot details. Exactly. It’s not _impossible_ Vader’s resurrection is an edict from Disney executives and the paper has scored a genuine scoop, but it’s far more likely to be a joke. ---
**Author:** ![danman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e495f1/32.png) [@danman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danman)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/51 "2012-11-13T12:25:38Z")
the real question is who cares! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/52 "2012-11-13T13:37:48Z")
> [@danman](#): > > the real question is who cares! [Luke Skywalker] _ **I** _ care. [/Luke Skywalker] ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/53 "2012-11-13T14:52:17Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Actually, it might be even better if he had his arm and legs cut off and fell into molten lava, and came back in a bionic suit of armor. Ah, so someone misheard the rumor. Episode VII is going to star Jarth Vader. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/54 "2012-11-13T15:47:58Z")
That’s better than Jar-Jar Vader. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/55 "2012-11-13T16:05:52Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Darth Vader, Luke and Leia’s erstwhile father … > [@Dr\_Doom](#): > > Say what??? > [@cochrane](#): > > OK, so I misunderstood the meaning of “erstwhile.” Actually, I’d say erstwhile is a pretty good adjective. This parent is no more! He doesn’t still exist! He’s expired and gone to meet his mentor! This is a late parent ! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If he hadn’t been cremated, he would be pushing up the daisies! His midi-chlorians are of interest only to historians! He’s hopped the twig! He’s shuffled off this mortal coil! He’s run down the curtain and become one with the force! He… is an EX-PARENT! ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/56 "2012-11-13T16:16:56Z")
Imagining JEJ doing a Jar-Jar impression. “Luke Isa your father” ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/57 "2012-11-13T16:31:01Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > Imagining JEJ doing a Jar-Jar impression. > > “Luke Isa your father” Imagining that Jar-Jar was a Sith Lord in deepest cover all along would explain a lot. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/58 "2012-11-13T17:42:25Z")
Everybody knows that Vader’s suit was imbued with Anakin’s Dark Side. When the Death Star 2.0 Beta blew up, his lava suit was impervious to the explosion, due to the Dark Side keeping it intact—found on Endor’s moon by Ewoks, smouldering and breathing laboriously. They scratched their hideiuos heads, said Ig chop, nub nub and tried to roast it over a spit. yet, although Anakin himself was incinerated, his Dark Side operates his suit, like an empty, jangly puppet that just walks around remote-choking Ewoks. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/59 "2012-11-13T17:52:21Z")
“I MUST get off this INSIPID mooooon!” _phoooo kuuuuhhh_ [chokes an Ewok] ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822/60 "2012-11-13T18:14:37Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Ah, so someone misheard the rumor. Episode VII is going to star Jarth Vader. **Miller** already called it. > [@Miller](#): > > [Like this?](http://th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2010/151/4/a/Darth_Jar_Jar_by_pcsamurai.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-darth-vader-will-return-in-ep-vii-how-dya-think-theyll-do-it/640822.md?page=4)