# So does anyone remember... (warning: not for the weak of heart) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220 "2001-05-03T15:27:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/81 "2001-05-11T06:03:59Z")
Thank you all for warping my once normal, but fragile, little mind. I ate at a restaurant this week where my waitress was missing her arm below her elbow and had no prosthesis. I imagined myself suggesting to her, “You know, you should try one of those DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS. I heard they’re great.” Fortunately, I only _imagined_ it. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/82 "2001-05-11T10:29:46Z")
yep, this woman certainly is losing grip with reality. she won’t be handsome after the surgery. on the other hand, if she ever comes into power, she can truly rule with an iron fist. (p.s. love the “Prints” pun. See, plenty of material still at hand.) ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/83 "2001-05-11T10:41:44Z")
About a month or so ago somebody from the [somethingawful.com](http://somethingawful.com) forums emailed her and said that she knew where she was coming from, and that she was planning on having her 3 year old son’s arms amputated. The woman responded that it was best to wait until the kid was old enough to make the decision on their own, so I guess she’s not TOTALLY without sense… ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/84 "2001-05-11T14:08:41Z")
After the surgery handjobs on her boyfriend won’t come in handy anymore. Ummmm. . . sorry. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/85 "2001-05-11T15:55:36Z")
if she ever gets into professional boxing, her opponents’d better watch that mean right hook of hers. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/86 "2001-05-11T15:59:06Z")
oh, have you heard what her favorite song is? “Disarm” by the Smashing Pumpkins. _OK, I really ought to leave now…_ ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/87 "2001-05-11T21:29:34Z")
a guy with no arms and no legs in your mailbox? - Bill a guy with no arms and no legs on your front stoop? - Matt a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? - Art a guy with no arms and no legs in a pot on the stove? - Stu a guy with no arms and no legs in the bathtub? - Bob a girl with no arms and one leg? - Eileen a Chinese girl with no arms and one leg? - Irene (My favorite) - a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? - Russell ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/88 "2001-05-11T21:55:46Z")
…and I have to work with this man??? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/89 "2001-05-21T18:09:36Z")
Well from reading her website I found that her boyfriend Rob had a previous girlfriend who was a double amputee with #5 etc etc. Listen girlfriend. He dumped her! What makes you think he will still want your hand in marriage if you get this done. ---
**Author:** ![sford](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@sford](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sford)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/90 "2001-05-21T19:21:39Z")
[Maestro sford sits in front of keyboard, cracks knuckles with a flourish] People, people … please try to have an open mind with her. We need to embrace her handicap - she sure won’t be able to. Remember, there are pros and cons to every situation. On the one hand, she won’t have to worry about her dog biting the hand that feeds it. On the other hand, she will probably lose her job as model for Yellow Pages’s “Let your fingers do the walking” logo. But then again, think of all the money she’ll save on computer games that improve hand-eye coordination. And maybe she can get a job as a model for Snap-on Tools. But sadly, all her houseplants will surely die when she loses her green thumb. But she’ll save money on Oil of Oley - she’ll use WD40 instead. Somebody should send her a copy of “Tank Girl”. THAT was a cool arm. Gee, it just doesn’t sound quite as uplifting to sing, “Put your hook in the hand of the Man who stilled the waters…” ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/91 "2001-05-21T21:33:00Z")
I’ve got to hand it to **Zebra** , thanks for bumping this thread. I thought it had slipped between our hands into the oblivion that is Page 6 of MPSIMS… ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/92 "2001-05-21T21:53:58Z")
Oh, but surely one day, after the surgery, she’ll be **thumb** ing through a magazine, laying underneath a **palm** tree, reflecting on how “ **Arm** ageddon” was such a great movie, **nail** ing flies with the paper from the straw in her **hand** y-dandy drink, talking over her PCS **digit** al cell phone… ---
**Author:** ![Chickenhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7cd45c/32.png) [@Chickenhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chickenhead)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/93 "2001-05-21T23:33:51Z")
As weird as may seem, those hooks and glasses are beautiful. Most people have an aversion to her appearance, but I find it kind of… I don’t know, disarming? ---
**Author:** ![Mouser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@Mouser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouser)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/94 "2001-05-22T04:41:04Z")
All I can say is, she’s gonna have a helluva time doing the Hokey Pokey after this… “You put your twin body powered prosthesis with #5X Dorrance Steel Hook in, you put your twin body powered prosthesis with #5X Dorrance Steel Hook out…” Just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. ---
**Author:** ![Bboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Bboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bboy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/95 "2001-05-22T11:47:29Z")
I bet if she could see this thread, and see how we’ve all had fun at her expense, she’d reconsider the whole deal. How else could she give everyone the finger? What if Eric Clapton had this same surgery? They’d call him _No-hand._ On the other hand… Has anyone besides myself, really pictured her in their mind? What if she were naked, standing before you? I envision a sort of human-sized plucked chicken. “Cluck me hard, baby.” ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/96 "2001-05-22T11:58:55Z")
I’m washing my hands of this entire thread. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/97 "2001-05-22T14:05:21Z")
…and she’ll have an eyepatch the first time she gets something in her eye… well, it’s out of our hands. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/98 "2001-05-22T14:10:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*Listen girlfriend. He dumped her! What makes you think he will still want your hand in marriage if you get this done. \*\* Maybe **all** he wants is her hand in marriage… ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/99 "2001-05-22T14:20:17Z")
…and she’ll have an eyepatch the first time she gets something in her eye… well, it’s out of our hands. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/100 "2001-05-22T14:20:36Z")
We shouldn’t be making jokes like this. I used to have a dog that had no legs. It was really sad because I couldn’t give him a name. He wouldn’t come when I called. And I got really upset when people would laugh when I took him out for a drag. After he died, I had another dog for a while, but lost him in a tragic accident. He was running across the railroad tracks and almost made it. The train ran over the last two inches of his tail and cut it right off. He yipped real load, turned around and tried to bite the train. Needless to say, the next set of wheels cut his head off. Just goes to show that you shouldn’t lose your head over a little piece of tail… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220.md?page=6)