# So does anyone remember... (warning: not for the weak of heart) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220 "2001-05-03T15:27:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/101 "2001-05-22T14:24:58Z")
This may lead to some finger pointing,but… Why don’t amputees play golf? They keep hooking the ball. How did Captain Hook die? Jock Itch ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/102 "2001-05-22T14:42:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clothahump \* > **We shouldn’t be making jokes like this. I used to have a dog that had no legs. It was really sad because I couldn’t give him a name. He wouldn’t come when I called. And I got really upset when people would laugh when I took him out for a drag.** Oh dear God…this can only lead us back to… …wait for it… …[Halvsie!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=51807) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![nerv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/85e7bf/32.png) [@nerv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nerv)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/103 "2001-05-22T14:47:55Z")
I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Seems 'armless enough to me. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/104 "2001-05-22T14:56:14Z")
a list of things for the bride NOT to worry about before the wedding… -manicure -gloves -ring sizing a list of gifts NOT received at the reception… -Palm trees -Ring holder -Fingerbowls I certainly hope that they consider honeymooning in the Finger Lakes area of New York. I hear it’s beautiful that time of year! How beautiful?.. you ask… As beautiful as TWIN DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEE… (I can’t… I just can’t…I feel so dirty) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/105 "2001-05-23T02:46:18Z")
If this woman ever goes broke she could panhandle…err…pan footle spare change. Wait… I’m Being Inspired… By Way Of Parcel Post [slapping forehead]NO! she could be the answer to the Imponderable Question… [Ed Sullivan] Ladies and gentleman…this is the sound of no hands clapping… Followed by a Tree Standing in the Woods[/Ed Sullivan] ---
**Author:** ![mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@mmm.forbidden\_doughnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmm.forbidden_doughnut)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/106 "2001-05-23T03:05:12Z")
Hi all. May I join in? This is my very first post and I’m very proud to say… I think she’s a knuckle-head! cheers! ---
**Author:** ![jonpluc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jonpluc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonpluc)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/107 "2001-05-23T13:25:52Z")
I am stumped how a thread like this can go on for three pages. Its time to call an Armistice and agree to sever this whole thread. Lets peg this agreement down shall we?? HeHE I can do this all day. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/108 "2001-05-23T14:49:43Z")
This story reminds me of several different fantasy stories. The first story was about a man who accidently loses his eye. Somehow he convinces Henri Matisse (sp?) to paint an eye on a poker chip. He goes around wearing this poker chip and is overwhelmed by all the attention he gets. The furor dies down and he misses the adulation he recieved, so he deliberately cuts his leg off and replaces it with a fancy birdcage with a live bird in it. The story ends with the furor dying down once again and he’s lying there considering cutting something else off. The eye on the poker chip winks at him. There’s another story about a man who supposedly accidentally looses a leg. He’s living under a totaltarian regime and somehow convinces them that he wants to send the leg to his mother living in the USA for “sentimental” reasons. The story continues with him losing one limb after another and shipping them to his mother until there’s nothing left of him. It turns out he managed to ecsape the country one piece at a time! His mother’s doctors managed to piece him together again and he lives happily ever after. In on of the Oz books the Tin Man and the Tin Soldier meet their old girlfriend. It turns out that their old girlfriend has a new boyfriend made up of a combination of the old thrown away pieces of the Tin Man and the Tin Soldier. I don’t know why, but I always thought this was a creepy idea. The idea of all those old parts lying around severed, yet still alive (since nothing can “truly” die in Oz). There a great story in the Baccus comic about the orgin of the Eyeball Kid. He accidentally loses one of his eyes and convinces Vulcan to make him a glass eye. Vulcan makes him several. The Eyeball kid becomes a Mexican bandit and starts leaving them behind at the scene of his robberies as a sort of signature. Thus the name “The Eyeball Kid.” The only problem with that story is that glass eyes are not spherical. I still think that would be a neat thing to have though. Macabre Fantasies: If I ever lost a leg I’d rather have a wooden leg than one of those fancy plastic things. If I lost a hand I’d want a artifical hand like the one the character “Hawk” wore in the Spencer series. Please excuse my runaway sentences, they run off with me. (Insert dumb hand joke here) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/109 "2001-05-23T22:59:14Z")
> [@](#): > > **(zebra)** Listen girlfriend. He dumped her! What makes you think he will still want your hand in marriage if you get this done. > > **(jr8)** Maybe **all** he wants is her hand in marriage… Or in a jar. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2001, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/110 "2001-05-23T23:36:06Z")
You people are sick, sick, sick, sick. I’m so proud to be here.😉 b. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/111 "2001-05-27T01:15:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*Maybe she couldn’t find anyone to give her a hand? > > :: rimshot :: > > Thank you everyone…thank you. I’m heer all ze week. > > jarbaby \*\* **jarbabyj** —your the one. Responsible for the vile, filthy , degenerate tone of this disgusting thread. YOU! We’re all so proud! {{{{{{{jarbabyj}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/112 "2001-05-27T02:01:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > \*\*a guy with no arms and no legs in your mailbox? - Bill > > a guy with no arms and no legs on your front stoop? - Matt > > a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? - Art > > a guy with no arms and no legs in a pot on the stove? - Stu > > a guy with no arms and no legs in the bathtub? - Bob > > a girl with no arms and one leg? - Eileen > > a Chinese girl with no arms and one leg? - Irene > > (My favorite) - a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? - Russell > \*\* Tygr: You forgot: A guy with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole - Phil ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/113 "2001-05-29T13:25:24Z")
I had a revelation in the shower this morning: She wants to embark on a shoplifting spree in the Middle East. Since some places cut off your hand if you’re caught shoplifting, maybe she feels that a “pre-emptive strike” is called for so that she can follow her dream of a life of crime. Either that, or maybe she should travel to one of those countries, and get caught stealing. That could be her accident. ---
**Author:** ![RoboDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bbe5ce/32.png) [@RoboDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RoboDude)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/114 "2001-07-29T14:37:49Z")
The link to the woman’s website didn’t seem to work. Anyway… The probability that whis woman will require some assistance with her daily routine after the surgery, at least until she gets the hang of her “TWIN BODY-POWERED PROSTHESES WITH DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL HOOKS”, is quite high. Just how does she plan to get said assistance? I hope that if she tries to strong-arm her fiance into providing it, he has the good sense to call off the wedding. Honestly, what would _you_ do if your fiance demanded that you sacrifice your personal life just so that he/she could have something “prettier” than normal hands. > [@](#): > > If she gets a claw instead of a hook for hands, in Asia, she’d be known as Da Craw. If she then earned a medical degree, she’d be Dr. Claw. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/115 "2001-07-29T17:58:02Z")
I don’t think she should be allowed to get any public assistance after she gets her operation. I say she’s on her own hook. [sub]Thank you, thank you. I’ll be appearing next week at the discount comedy outlet. Good night.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2001, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/116 "2001-07-30T03:52:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sewalk \* > **I don’t think she should be allowed to get any public assistance after she gets her operation. I say she’s on her own hook.** That’s right! No handouts! ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/117 "2002-05-31T22:18:34Z")
Hey, does anyone know anything about this girl? for some reason she came to mind a few days ago. (don’t ask me, i only live in my mind) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220/118 "2002-05-31T22:48:56Z")
She (or her site) was discussed at length through several SDMB threads at the time. IIRC based on the fact that the deadline for the surgery came and went more than once and the webmaster kept changing the story to accomodate a new near future date, made most people, including myself. conclude it was a big put on although the psychiatric condition is apparently real. The whole thing just read too much like a male shine to his fantasy woman. This SDMB [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=64354&highlight=dorrance) goes into it in more depth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-does-anyone-remember-warning-not-for-the-weak-of-heart/64220.md?page=5)