# So guys, are you a cucumber or a banana? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2007, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439 "2007-04-24T12:20:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/1 "2007-04-24T12:20:41Z")
Or: one more reason for men to dislike tofu. [Health news from Singapore](http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSSIN2671420070424?feedType=RSS) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/2 "2007-04-24T12:57:36Z")
I knew a woman who was shopping in the vegetable section of a supermarket one day when she was approached by a male acquaintance, who suggestively waved a cucumber at her. Later in another aisle she ran into him again. This time she waved a jar of pickles at him. Oooh. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/3 "2007-04-24T13:30:53Z")
Cucumbers? Bananas? Pssh. Forged Japanese steel, baby. Hand-folded two thousand times by master…craftsmen. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/4 "2007-04-24T13:44:22Z")
More of an Alpenhorn, really. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/5 "2007-04-24T13:46:44Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] More of an Alpenhorn, really. [/QUOTE] I am _really_ trying not to do a “RIIIIIICCOOOlaaaaaa!” joke, here. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/6 "2007-04-24T14:15:18Z")
> [@](#): > > I am really trying not to do a “RIIIIIICCOOOlaaaaaa!” joke, here The leiderhosen would spoil it for me, even if there was a cucumber involved. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/7 "2007-04-24T14:19:10Z")
When did Reuters go porno??? (They illustrate this story with _dribbling bananas_.) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/8 "2007-04-24T14:37:50Z")
[QUOTE=CairoCarol] The leiderhosen would spoil it for me, even if there was a cucumber involved. [/QUOTE] Lederhosen ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/9 "2007-04-24T14:39:02Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] Lederhosen [/QUOTE] Bless you. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/10 "2007-04-24T14:42:36Z")
Wow, the only thing dumber than that rating scale is the fact that a reputable news service like Reuters chose to actually run a story on it. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/11 "2007-04-24T14:46:27Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] Lederhosen [/QUOTE] Sauerkraut? ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/12 "2007-04-24T15:21:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Leiderhosen Well, I kind of had an image of him singing in his little leather shorts. But then again, that would be lieder, wouldn’t it? _withdraws in embarrassment._ ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/13 "2007-04-24T15:57:41Z")
There must be some scale which IS scientific that could be used. I’m guessing [this one](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness) won’t work but something must, no? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/14 "2007-04-24T15:59:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Hand-folded two thousand times by master…craftsmen. OUCH! ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/15 "2007-04-24T16:43:12Z")
" ‘Men should aim for this,’ UK sex therapist Victoria Lehmann told a news conference, holding a cucumber." Umm, shouldn’t they be aiming at the cantelopes or something? ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/16 "2007-04-24T17:18:17Z")
I thought it would be a discussion of curviness (or straightness) in the putative appendage… ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/17 "2007-04-24T17:26:45Z")
[QUOTE=John DiFool] I thought it would be a discussion of curviness (or straightness) in the putative appendage… [/QUOTE] I think that would have a different scale: - Pool cue - Sausage link - Pot handle - Pig tail ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/18 "2007-04-24T18:44:54Z")
[QUOTE=BJMoose] When did Reuters go porno??? (They illustrate this story with _dribbling bananas_.) [/QUOTE] That was my first thought: My god, could they have possibly found a more suggestive picture? Then I giggled. Then I realized that, apparently, [today is the day](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=418057) for unholy combinations of food and male genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/19 "2007-04-24T19:48:47Z")
[QUOTE=BJMoose] (They illustrate this story with _dribbling bananas_.) [/QUOTE] You’re not alone in noticing this. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439/20 "2007-04-24T22:01:23Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] I knew a woman who was shopping in the vegetable section of a supermarket one day when she was approached by a male acquaintance, who suggestively waved a cucumber at her. Later in another aisle she ran into him again. This time she waved a jar of pickles at him. [/QUOTE] Whole, spears, or slices? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-guys-are-you-a-cucumber-or-a-banana/401439.md?page=2)