# So, her mom walks in... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 1, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923 "2003-06-01T07:41:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/1 "2003-06-01T07:41:52Z")
So, last night I go over to a friend’s house. A female friend. A female friend who I went to prom with, and have been sort of “dating” (in the sense of doing typical teenage /young adult date stuff, but nothing romantic has ever occured) for a few months. About 11:00-ish, her parents go to sleep, then about 1:00-ish one of her friends shows up. We’re all hanging around talking in her bedroom, so as the parents can sleep. About 3, I fall asleep (hey, I was tired) on the floor. A few hours later, I wake up, discover I have a blanket on me, the friend’s left, and she’s asleep. I figure “If I leave now, she’ll be somewhere between confused and pissed, and if I stay, who knows what the parents’ll do.” so I stay…better to take a chance than a garaunteed loss, right? Round about 8, we’ve both been awake for a few minutes when her mom pokes her head in. “Hi. Good morning” I say. “Oh…Hi” says the mom, then goes out to the kitchen. We head out there, the mom seems pretty cool with the whole situation, “I was a little confused when I saw your clothes [I left my sweatshirt on the kitchen table] here, then I noticed your car was still here, then I checked the couch, then the spare bedroom, then I got a little nervous. Glad to see you were on the floor, not…” she tells me as she makes us breakfast. Anyhow, any ideas on how to handle this next time I see her parents? I’m guessing her dad’s gonna want to have a little chat, but I don’t see much of a problem there, since nothing happened between us. The fact that her parents like (or at least, _liked_) me probably helps the general situation, but I’m guessing it’s going to be kind of awkward. Just to factor into things, I’m 19, she’s 18. There would obviously be a difference between how two 25 year olds would handle it and two 14 year olds would. And since I never explicitly said it, I’m male, which makes the odds of her parents saying something a leeelte higher. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/2 "2003-06-01T07:51:54Z")
Assuming her parents are reasonable, I don’t think this should be too bad. Nothing happened, they didn’t catch you doing anything, and they don’t have a reason to think anything happened. Could be much, much worse if you ask me. Good luck in any case. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/3 "2003-06-01T07:57:55Z")
Sounds like it turned out very well indeed. I was actually thinking “oh no, now he’s going to say his parents called the cops or something because he didn’t call…” ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/4 "2003-06-01T08:04:47Z")
head the problem off in advance. Say hey, you fell asleep and when you woke up weren’t sure what you should do. In the future, should I a) write a note and leave b) move to the couch c) move to the spare bedroom ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/5 "2003-06-01T08:27:29Z")
> [@](#): > > …have been sort of “dating” (in the sense of doing typical teenage /young adult date stuff, but nothing romantic has ever occured) for a few months. Fascinating. I was unaware people still DID that. :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/6 "2003-06-01T12:25:27Z")
It sounds as though her parents are fairly laid-back types, if they feel comfortable going to bed while their daughter has a male guest over, and if other friends are showing up at their house at 1am and not being chased off with shotguns. I would assume they will speak to the daughter and you can get the gist of it from her, then react appropriately. Still, I think ChinaGuy has the right idea in suggesting that you approach it first—I think it’ll make them see you as a responsible fella if you’re not trying to duck out of the conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/7 "2003-06-01T12:32:54Z")
I thought was gonna be one of those stories like the time my girlfriend and I got caught WELL entangled upon her sofa once. Glad it wasn’t… that SUCKED! LOL! Sounds like she’s got a reasonable mother at least. Best of luck to you both! Straightforward honest is your best bet by far. q;} ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/8 "2003-06-01T15:06:37Z")
Heh, my parents don’t let irishfella and I share a bed when we stay at their house (his parents don’t either, but thats not the point), so we have a lot of to-ing and fro-ing during the night. I usually go in to see him in the morning to wake him up and cuddle. One morning my grandmother walks into the living room, to find us on the sofa bed, in pyjamas, watching tv, very innocent. Thank heaven she didn’t come in five minutes earlier 😉 She looked sternly at irishfella and said “Which church do your paarents attend young man?” He was non-plussed and replied that they are presbyterians. She said “I was hoping you’d be Jewish, but at least you’re not Catholic”, and left. We’re still not quite sure what happened there. ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/9 "2003-06-01T15:10:15Z")
Your in the clear **Ender**. I wouldn’t worry to much about it, as you didn’t do anything, and you can be perfectly honest about it. If her father confronts you, well, you are adults, and you didn’t do anything… Good for you as well. Glad to see not everyone in the world is just jumping in the sack all the time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/10 "2003-06-01T15:52:16Z")
Good thing you slipped out of her bed and onto the floor before the mom checked in. [big wink] In all seriousness, I’d just tell the truth. Mention that you felt too sleepy to drive and dozed out on the floor. Thank them for tossing a blanket over you and say how you’ll try to avoid being so tired in the future. They’re adults. They’ll be able to know you’re telling the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Dodeca\_Aww\_Hell\_With\_It](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dodeca\_Aww\_Hell\_With\_It](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dodeca_Aww_Hell_With_It)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/11 "2003-06-01T16:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by China Guy \* > \*\*head the problem off in advance. Say hey, you fell asleep and when you woke up weren’t sure what you should do. In the future, should I a) write a note and leave b) move to the couch c) move to the spare bedroom \*\* **Excellent advice and spot on.** ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/12 "2003-06-01T17:24:45Z")
> [@](#): > > In all seriousness, I’d just tell the truth. Mention that you felt too sleepy to drive and dozed out on the floor. Thank them for tossing a blanket over you and say how you’ll try to avoid being so tired in the future. I thought you said tell the truth, not fabricate some story about being “too sleepy to drive.” I see where you’re coming from, though, pointing out that, despite appearances, it really was completely innocent. The ironic bit of this whole tale is that about six months ago, we had an almost identical situation occur at my house. We had gone to a party, she didn’t have a curfew that night (usually did, but not that time for whatever reason) and didn’t really want to chance going home drunk if she didn’t have to. I offered the spare bedroom at my house, she accepts. The next morning we have breakfast and I’m about to take her home so she can get ready for work, when MY mom walks out. Introductions are made, we head out, when I get back, the madre asks “so, um, who was she?” I give some edited story of events and it’s never been mentioned since, except by my step-dad who thinks we’ve been sleeping together this whole time and misses no opportunity for double entendres. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/13 "2003-06-01T17:45:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ender\_Will \* > I thought you said tell the truth, not fabricate some story about being “too sleepy to drive.” I see where you’re coming from, though, pointing out that, despite appearances, it really was completely innocent … Without wishing to be too disagreeable, if you fell asleep on the floor, _you were too tired to drive_. Forgive me if one of us is confused here. ---
**Author:** ![sickboy51](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@sickboy51](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sickboy51)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/14 "2003-06-01T19:14:19Z")
My ex-girlfriend mother caught me with my head under her daughter´s skirt… Now ´THAT´s embarrasing… no kidding. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/15 "2003-06-01T20:54:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by \*\*Ender\_Will \*\*\* > despite appearances, it really was completely innocent. I think you have the wrong idea here. Appearances were completely innocent too. From what you’ve said so far I’d say you’re completely overestimating the problem here. I’m fairly certain that you’ve spent far more time thinking about it than her parents have. I’m curious where you live, too (your location says SoCal) – as **Marley** observed, you seem to be operating under an incredibly conservative set of values. ---
**Author:** ![it\_sjustme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/da6949/32.png) [@it\_sjustme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/it_sjustme)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/16 "2003-06-01T22:43:45Z")
I have 3 teenagers and until proven otherwise, (so far I haven’t been) I would trust them completely if I found them in the same situation as your friend’s parents found you guys. If your past actions have proven you trustworthy and her parents are as reasonable as they sound, they have no reason to doubt your word. Trust is a very individual thing; I’m not stupid. I wouldn’t trust every teenager in the same situation. But you say you did nothing and you have no reason to lie to us and my kids have proven themselves to be very trustworthy, thus far. **China Guy** gave you some great advice. If I were your friend’s parent, I would be really impressed if you followed his advice. ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/17 "2003-06-02T01:44:59Z")
I talked to her earlier today, and she said her parents haven’t mentioned it since, so I’m guessing nothing more is going to come of it. I’m sort of basing my expectations off of how I imagine I’d react to the scenario, if I was the parent. **Marley** , **White Lightning** , I’m in Santa Barbara. I wouldn’t describe myself as “incredibly conservative” in any regard, but if not being 110% obssessed with getting laid and worrying about offending a friend’s parents count as conservative, I suppose I’ve been mislabeling myself. **Zenster** , you’re correct there. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![lillyflower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@lillyflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lillyflower)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/18 "2003-06-02T01:52:01Z")
well I would agree with the other dopers and say next time just move to the spare bedroom, and you should always be honest (as long as you weren’t bonking, hehe) , parents like when there is maturity involved:) ---
**Author:** ![Ender\_Will](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Ender\_Will](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ender_Will)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/19 "2003-06-02T16:02:10Z")
Since my last post, I’ve talked to her mom, and I guess everything cool. The subject never came up, despite other things that happened Friday being mentioned (making a segue of “speaking of Friday night…” ridiculously easy). In all, I think I’m the most bent out of shape of anyone, which I suppose is the best scenario. Thanks, everyone, for your advice and tolerating my excessive updates (which I’ve noticed a tendency towards recently). ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923/20 "2003-06-02T17:06:20Z")
_“So here’s to you Mrs. Robinson…”_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-her-mom-walks-in/178923.md?page=2)