# So Hitler walks into your little coffee shop........ **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2015, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921 "2015-09-29T04:46:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/21 "2015-09-29T12:55:21Z")
Years ago a guy came into my business and was instantly recognized by an employee. She told me who he was and proved it by pulling up the state’s Megan’s Law website. His crime was truly heinous, but he’d served his time. I asked him to please take his business elsewhere and he complied, apparently used to it. I’m not claiming what I did was right, but it’s what I’d do today in a similar situation. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/22 "2015-09-29T14:08:18Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > No, sorry, I draw a line. This is Hitler we’re talking about. I wouldn’t poison him but I’d tell him to leave my coffee shop and not come back. He’s banned for life. Worse than a coffee nazi? “No coffee for you! Come back one year. Next!” EDA: I see the meme has already been played. Still, I must point out that “banned for life” is definitely more stringent than “Come back one year”. You’ve out-nazi’d the Soup Nazi, **Little Nemo**. ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/23 "2015-09-29T14:19:05Z")
> [@Uniqueorn](#): > > But won’t you legally have to serve him coffee, unless you can prove that you would never ever serve other evil mass murderers coffee either? You can legally refuse anyone service unless it’s on the basis of race/religion/gender/disability etc. Can’t believe so many people would serve Hitler! I’d punch him square in the face. Pretty sure I’d get a big cheer and not a jury in the land would convict me. ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/24 "2015-09-29T14:31:15Z")
> [@Mikeisskeptical](#): > > You can legally refuse anyone service unless it’s on the basis of race/religion/gender/disability etc. I can see the headlines now… Ageist coffee shop refuses to serve 126 year-old man. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/25 "2015-09-29T14:53:38Z")
> [@gnoitall](#): > > I see the meme has already been played. Still, I must point out that “banned for life” is definitely more stringent than “Come back one year”. You’ve out-nazi’d the Soup Nazi, **Little Nemo**. I did recognize the similarity and considered working a Soup Nazi reference into my post. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/26 "2015-09-29T16:11:22Z")
Don’t forget to offer him a coupon for free coffee at your shop’s other location, in Warsaw. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/27 "2015-09-29T16:19:57Z")
One things for sure - little fuckers getting decaf from now on. “Funny, Mengele never comments on my coffee” ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/28 "2015-09-29T16:41:05Z")
Citizen’s Arrest! Citizen’s Arrest! Hitler was never brought to trial for war crimes. No time like the present. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/29 "2015-09-29T16:47:07Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > Call 911? This makes me curious: If Hitler were indeed still alive today, and walked (or was wheeled) into an American coffee shop, what exactly could the American authorities do? ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/30 "2015-09-29T16:56:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > This makes me curious: If Hitler were indeed still alive today, and walked (or was wheeled) into an American coffee shop, what exactly could the American authorities do? Are there any outstanding warrants anywhere in the world? Is Israel still looking for WWII war criminals? Otherwise, they could follow Hitler out of the store and push him in front of a bus. _OMG! What happened? It looks like Hitler just committed suicide. Yep, that’s what it looked like to me, also_. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/31 "2015-09-29T17:49:45Z")
Two provisos: 1. he is not wanted for any crimes. If so, I report him to the appropriate authorities. (So that answers the Hitler-specific question). 2. he is not bothering other patrons. If so, I ask him to leave and/or call the appropriate authorities if necessary. Other than those two issues, I would put on a fake smile, serve the coffee and go about my day. I don’t have to like a coffee-shop patron to provide reasonable service to them. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/32 "2015-09-29T18:29:36Z")
Does Hitler tip? ---
**Author:** ![Mikeisskeptical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@Mikeisskeptical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikeisskeptical)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/33 "2015-09-29T18:30:47Z")
> [@dracoi](#): > > I don’t have to like a coffee-shop patron to provide reasonable service to them. I completely agree, but I do have to not hold said patron responsible for the Holocaust. Call me unprofessional. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/34 "2015-09-29T18:53:06Z")
It totally depends on how Hitler has handled the past sixty years. If he has carried the guilt of his actions, and he somehow hasn’t been killed and hasn’t killed himself, then I expect that I would see a very humbled man asking for coffee. I’d give him a decent cup. I wouldn’t take his money, either out of disgust or compassion. On the other hand, if he has spent the years trying to regain his former power through hate groups, I’d probably just put an ashtray on the counter and tell him to jump in. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/35 "2015-09-29T20:14:48Z")
> [@cornflakes](#): > > It totally depends on how Hitler has handled the past sixty years. If he has carried the guilt of his actions, and he somehow hasn’t been killed and hasn’t killed himself, then I expect that I would see a very humbled man asking for coffee. I’d give him a decent cup. I wouldn’t take his money, either out of disgust or compassion. On the other hand, if he has spent the years trying to regain his former power through hate groups, I’d probably just put an ashtray on the counter and tell him to jump in. Hitler was in a large part responsible for the death of literally tens of millions of people. Sixty years of feeling bad doesn’t even begin to balance the scales. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/36 "2015-09-29T21:38:17Z")
First of all, I’d be really confused on how I came to own a coffee shop. Like did I inherit it? win it in a card game? Or am I in the middle of robbing it and I have the staffed tied up and gagged in the back room when Hitler walks in and to not cause an alarm, I pretend to be a worker? Let’s assume the last one. So I probably have a weapon of some kind. So I would probably take him hostage as well and demand he take me to the secret nazi moonbase. Also, vitamultin. I would demand vitamultin. Also, to all the soup nazi jokes: I approve. Also, also I’m friends with a chick who claims to have slept with the soup nazi actor guy at a holiday party of some kind. Apparently super nice guy, but not really good at the sex. Or they were both too drunk. True story. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/37 "2015-09-29T21:53:40Z")
> [@doorhinge](#): > > Is Israel still looking for WWII war criminals? I doubt the government is actively searching for them, but if they get a tip, they’ll definitely follow through. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/38 "2015-09-29T22:43:24Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Does Hitler tip? OK, so you own a cat grooming place. Hitler walks in and wants to have his cat de-clawed. You also notice that at some point in the years since his supposed “death” in that bunker he’s put on quite a lot of weight… ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2015, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/39 "2015-09-29T22:46:38Z")
It’s always the right thing to kill Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![McDoogins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@McDoogins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/McDoogins)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921/40 "2015-09-30T00:26:07Z")
I probably wouldn’t kill any person with that kind of power unless I knew I was going to die. So basically only during war. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-hitler-walks-into-your-little-coffee-shop/732921.md?page=3)