# So, How Does One Find a Sugar Momma? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2001, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093 "2001-03-07T10:18:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/21 "2001-03-11T01:52:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*Ummm, Beth? You monitering this? \*\* Don’t worry, I’m on it. [sub]They don’t call me “evil” for nothing![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/22 "2001-03-11T02:18:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kallessa \* > \*\* > Hot monkey sex–very innocent, the epitome of innocence if you ask me. Now hot tiger sex, that’s something different. Hot monkey sex, though–innocent. \*\* You have obviously never engaged in hot monkey sex with Euty. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/23 "2001-03-11T03:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > - Originally posted by evilbeth\* > > You have obviously never engaged in hot monkey sex with Euty. True, but then, he’s never had hot tiger sex with me. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/24 "2001-03-11T03:26:23Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Persephone \* \*\ ***Mermaid:** If I find that picture in _one more thread…_ I’m gonna be forced to put it in my sig. 😃 QUOTE] Ok I’ll quit it. I just thought it was so damn funny. The evil heartless bitch Mistress Persephone shares only her name with undoubtedly one of the sweetest, wittiest and most _un_heartless bi… uhm ladies on the SDMB. Besides if you take away the hair, make-up, nails, corsets and clothes,shoes and accesories, I’d bet she is nowhere near as interesting as the one and only true Persephone–Goddess of the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/25 "2001-03-11T06:33:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kallessa \* > \*\*True, but then, he’s never had hot tiger sex with me. \*\* Very true but he _has_ had hot evilbeth sex with me. There is no animal equivalent–it is an entirely different creature all its own. There is no comparison, there is no euphamism and there is no other experience sweeter, hotter, sexier, tastier, kinkier, more exciting, more interesting or mind-blowing. Now, combine that with hot Scotti sex and hot Persephone sex, each phenomenal in its own right, and the man is like a walking zombie–totally drained of the energy to perform anything but the most basic of tasks (like breathing, for example). He likes to post threads like this to see which women will respond–it gives him a nice thrill–but he knows how things really are. We allow it to look like Euty has his own little harem going on here but the truth be known, he is a very kept man. And now that we have been forced to reveal the secret, he must be punished. ::cracking whip:: Oh, Patrick… ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/26 "2001-03-11T07:20:51Z")
Okay, I give. I’m over my head. This is in no way a denial of hot tiger sex, or hot Kalessa sex, which I assure you is fantastic (age and experience do hold some advantages over youth and eagerness), but I can’t come between a man and his wives. Sisterhood, you know. Does Euty have a brother, perhaps? One without wives? ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/27 "2001-03-11T12:33:47Z")
Well, hey, let’s not be too hasty here. She’s fought this far; the least we could do is give her an audition. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/28 "2001-03-11T14:30:41Z")
::cracking whip again:: Down boy! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/29 "2001-03-11T18:13:27Z")
**Mermaid:** ::😊:: Why thank you! I will agree with you on the humor of the pic, though. Laughed my a\*\* off the first time I saw it. Well-delivered humor, especially when it’s directed at me (and trust me when I say no one laughs harder at me than _me_), is most appreciated. 😃 As for **Euty,** I’m going to defer to **Scotti** and **evilbeth** on this one. The more I think about it, the more possessive of him and our little “arrangement” I get. I suppose we _could_ take him out for a little walk from time to time, though. He does seem a bit zonked. :eek: Oh and Beth, you forgot these. :::tosses beth velvet-covered handcuffs::: ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/30 "2001-03-11T18:21:15Z")
Euty, let’s be logical for a moment. With three active wives, you don’t have time for a Sugar Momma–I’m surprised you have time for your job or the boards!! No, if I’m going to be a Sugar Momma, it’s gonna be to someone without a wife. Otherwise, I’m really just “The Other Woman” who pays her own way. Really Euty, you needed to think this out more. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/31 "2001-03-11T18:24:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kallessa \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > - Originally posted by evilbeth\* > > > > You have obviously never engaged in hot monkey sex with Euty. > > True, but then, he’s never had hot tiger sex with me. \*\* “Crouching Tiger…Hidden Monkey” wasn’t this a movie or something? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/32 "2001-03-12T17:34:30Z")
My, our **evilbeth** sure does have a way with words! (It’s a gift, I think.) Scotti (Speaking in awed and admiring tones) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/33 "2001-03-12T17:51:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*My, our **evilbeth** sure does have a way with words! (It’s a gift, I think.) > \*\* You’re damn right. God even _I_ want her and I’m not a monkey, a tiger, or even a lesbian [sub]AFIK[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/34 "2001-03-12T19:33:36Z")
Ummmmm… Just in case Euty has more Sugar Mommas than he knows what to do with, I graciously volunteer my services (as it were) to those excess Mommas. I’ve got good qualifications… I’m young, impressionable and really like older women… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/35 "2001-03-12T19:57:44Z")
One quick suggestion. Never _ever_ call them _older_ women. ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/36 "2001-03-12T21:40:19Z")
Woops! (Thanks for the tip, Euty…) Let’s just say that I’ve got a lot to learn and can certainly take a cue from, shall we say, more experienced and world-wise ladies? 😃 Plus, I’m more than willing to walk dogs, rub bunions or whatever tasks said Momma may desire. (Hey, I ain’t proud.) ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2001, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/37 "2001-03-13T00:15:09Z")
Damn, this is one of those times I wish I could fast-forward my life to 85. I’d be a rich old babe, with an addled, yet open, mind, and a big house with lots of secret passageways. I’d be Euty’s Sugar Momma, and it’d be fine with me if he brought alla his wives with him. (A fine Artiste, with such excellent taste.) My gumption would of course get the best of me, and I’d have to hobble down the passageways and have a peek at all that hollerin’ whoop-dee-do. After a mere fifteen minutes of gazing at the tableaux in the Room of Mirrors, I have an “attack”, and die with a smile on my face, knowing that my fortune will be used in the best of ways. LaLaLa! In what passes for Reality: I count up the nickels & dimes in the change bowl, and it don’t add up to enough to be a distant Sugar Cousin. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/39 "2012-09-04T19:18:57Z")
You want a zombie sugar momma? ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/40 "2012-09-04T19:32:38Z")
The world has changed in 11 years. Today they are called zombie high fructose corn syrup mommas. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rob911](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba8739/32.png) [@Rob911](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rob911)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093/41 "2015-03-19T16:49:22Z")
> [@evilbeth](#): > > ::gasp:: > > Say it isn’t so! > Well, since there will be hot sex (one step beyond monkey–does it get hotter than that?) involved, I’d like to apply for this position. I have a couple of jobs and therefore disposable income. And hey, since I have a Sugar Daddy–I have extra disposable income! We just won’t tell him where the extra money is going. Then you can not work and stay at home working on the board…and me! 😉 I’m looking for a suger mama and new to all this maybe you can help me out? 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-does-one-find-a-sugar-momma/57093.md?page=3)