# So, how else could I have used this block of Velveeta? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 12, 2004, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930 "2004-06-12T03:12:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/41 "2004-06-13T16:12:21Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Velveeta breaks one of my crucial food rules: don’t eat crap that comes in a box. Food does not come in a box. Pasta, breakfast cereal, silken tofu, crackers, raisins, baking flour, sugar . . . ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/42 "2004-06-13T18:09:01Z")
…wine… ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/43 "2004-06-13T18:33:15Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > You could make Cheesy Brocolli Casserole: Take it to the next level - try adding a quarter teaspoon of garlic powder. And don’t forget the crushed saltine topping. > [@](#): > > I want to make Velveeta Fudge just to watch people freak out when I tell them what’s in it. Heh. Me too. Those Bunco ladies had better watch out. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sunfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/44 "2004-06-13T19:11:55Z")
> [@Laughing Lagomorph](#): > > I was going to say this. It is my bait of choice when taking small kids fishing for sunfish or what have you. Absolutely bullet proof results. Ugh. I have better taste than that, my dear happy hare. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/45 "2004-06-13T22:16:35Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > Pasta, breakfast cereal, silken tofu, crackers, raisins, baking flour, sugar . . . Pasta does not come in a box. Dried, mass produced pasta comes in a box. Or worse, in a wrapper in a box. That would be a no. Breakfast cereal does not come in a box. Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden cereal comes in a box. That would also be a no. Silken tofu comes in a carton. Also a no. Crackers don’t come in a box. Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden crackers come in a box. That would also be a no. Raisins come in a canister. If you don’t buy them from a whole foods type of store. Another no. Baking flour comes in a bag. If you buy enough, it comes in a large sack. Another no. Sugar also comes in a bag. This is especially true of raw sugar. This is another no. So you were trying to make a point, but, uh, what was it again? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/46 "2004-06-13T22:32:26Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Pasta does not come in a box. Dried, mass produced pasta comes in a box. Or worse, in a wrapper in a box. That would be a no. Breakfast cereal does not come in a box. Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden cereal comes in a box. That would also be a no. Silken tofu comes in a carton. Also a no. Crackers don’t come in a box. Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden crackers come in a box. That would also be a no. Raisins come in a canister. If you don’t buy them from a whole foods type of store. Another no. Baking flour comes in a bag. If you buy enough, it comes in a large sack. Another no. Sugar also comes in a bag. This is especially true of raw sugar. This is another no. > > So you were trying to make a point, but, uh, what was it again? 😃 WAG: That he eats normal, easily available food like most normal Americans. And that you’re apparentlu bulimic. And that using no-refrigeration needed processed cheese food in a box as a main ingredient in fudge and not to TELL anyone is both evil and inherently indefensible. I spotted something disturbing when I was grocery shopping today… You know what’s worse than Velveeta, that sits right next to Velveeta? Generic brand no-refrigeration needed processed cheese food in a box. Brrr. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/47 "2004-06-13T22:58:52Z")
Wow. Velveeta. I don’t think we have that in England. Or at least I’ve never seen it. So, it’s cheese… but it’s not cheese? Huh? I really hope Velveeta doesn’t cross the Atlantic! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/48 "2004-06-13T23:26:57Z")
> [@Lambo](#): > > (although velveeta is but a small candle compared to that 200 watt bulb that is government subsidy cheese. I like that gubmint cheeses,too. My old granny scored about five 5 lb blocks of it once- we thought we were rich (but we didn’t make ‘fudge’ with it!). I actually had some of it a couple of months ago when I had lunch with my daughter at her elementary school. It was still good (heh)- firmer and sharper than velveeta. I’m surprised that cheese isn’t available for purchase as so many like it. Also, I’ve heard that the cheese used in restaraunts is called “E Z Melt” ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/49 "2004-06-13T23:37:33Z")
1. Take the Velveeta out of it’s original container and put it in a brown paper bag (a grocery ‘sack’). 2. Fold over the top of the paper bag and place it on the doorstep of a neighbor you’ve been arguing with. 3. Light the bag on fire. 4. Ring the door bell and hide out of sight, but in a place where you can observe your neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/50 "2004-06-14T05:54:50Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > Wow. Velveeta. I don’t think we have that in England. Or at least I’ve never seen it. > > So, it’s cheese… but it’s not cheese? Huh? > > I really hope Velveeta doesn’t cross the Atlantic! :eek: Velveeta is a very interesting product. It comes in a long rectangular box. When you lift off the lid, you see the product, wrapped in vaccuum packed foil. It is a very soft, squishy cheese, school-bus yellow in color, and melts very easily and smoothly. As you see from this thread, there are dedicated fans of it. I’ve never particularly liked it, myself. I think it has a very bland taste. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/51 "2004-06-14T07:53:27Z")
Thanks to Walloon and Moriah - one for the low-down and one for the up-lift. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/52 "2004-06-14T08:14:36Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > WAG: That he eats normal, easily available food like most normal Americans. And that you’re apparentlu bulimic. I’d say WAG one is true. WAG two is false – I’m not bulimic by a long stretch, just a vegetarian with a penchant for whole and natural foods. In other words, stuff that doesn’t come in a box. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/53 "2004-06-14T08:25:09Z")
> [@sj2](#): > > Podkayne, > > You made me vomit a little in my mouth. I’ve never had anyone do that on these boards before. And I ate a Filet O’ Fish about an hour ago. The very thought of cheese-food fudge, mixed with Filet O’ Vurp taste in my mouth is way too much for a Saturday night. Thanks. > > In other words, why do you hate me? Even worse, why does she love Hitler? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/54 "2004-06-14T10:24:10Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Pasta does not come in a box. Dried, mass produced pasta comes in a box. Or worse, in a wrapper in a box. That would be a no. Breakfast cereal does not come in a box. Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden cereal comes in a box. That would also be a no. Silken tofu comes in a carton. Also a no. Crackers don’t come in a box. Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden crackers come in a box. That would also be a no. Raisins come in a canister. If you don’t buy them from a whole foods type of store. Another no. Baking flour comes in a bag. If you buy enough, it comes in a large sack. Another no. Sugar also comes in a bag. This is especially true of raw sugar. This is another no. > > So you were trying to make a point, but, uh, what was it again? 😃 What is it about compressed cardboard that you hate so much. Dried pasta isn’t an inherently worse product than fresh pasta, it’s a _different_ product. Also, can you tell us what brands of cereal and crackers you deem to be not “Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden”. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/55 "2004-06-14T10:50:50Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > What is it about compressed cardboard that you hate so much. I don’t hate it, I just don’t think that it’s a suitable shipping or storage medium for comestible items. > [@](#): > > Dried pasta isn’t an inherently worse product than fresh pasta, it’s a _different_ product. Non disputandum de gustibus est. > [@](#): > > Also, can you tell us what brands of cereal and crackers you deem to be not “Mass produced, sugar, salt, fat and preservative laden”. Very few, if any. Which would be why I don’t buy them. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/56 "2004-06-14T12:57:26Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > It is a very soft, squishy cheese, school-bus yellow in color, and melts very easily and smoothly. Well, no it’s not cheese, nor can it legally call itself cheese. It is a “process cheese product”, containing less than 51% cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930/57 "2004-06-14T15:41:17Z")
Are all you nay-sayers gettin’ nosebleeds up there on yer high horses? It’s telling that the people who are grossed out by the idea are the ones who have never tried it. In fact, if anyone can testify that they have _had_ Velveeta fudge they were disgusted by its Velveetaness, then, by gum, I’ll eat a 1/2 pound block of Velveeta, raw. My innocent victi—er, I mean, my _beneficiaries_ don’t have the slightest suspicion that my fudge is Velveeta-based, and they always come back for more. What they don’t know won’t hurt 'em. [sub]In fact, if I ever tried to make real fudge for them, that’s when they’d be smiling politely and spitting it out in a napkin. I’ve never been able to make a decent batch. Shameful, I know.[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-how-else-could-i-have-used-this-block-of-velveeta/249930.md?page=2)