I put all kinds of stuff in the freezer. But at least I know where to find something if its missing.
When we get home my husband and I tend to set all of our stuff down on our pool table. One time when we were getting ready to leave in my car, I notice my husband pick up his car keys and chuck them into one of the Pool Table pockets. I just chuckle, make a mental note of this but dont say anything. The next morning he calls me at work freaking out because he cant find his keys. I tell him to check the pockets. He was astounded by my knowledge and I tell him I saw him do it and , “I just couldnt resist because I couldnt imagine why you would hide your own keys from yourself!”
By the way, I recently had a cat scan done of my brain because of my wife’s concern that I may have early onset of Alzheimers. My doctor responded by pointing out that I still had deep folds in my brain tissue indicating that no shrinkage was present and thus we had nothing to worry about.
Thank you, I thought maybe I was taking this thread too personally.
And Stoid, I know you say you have sympathy and empathy and good thoughts and whatever, but when you talk about people with dementia causing harm to themselves and then say “I always think about that when I’m doing something which, if I were a little stupider, could be very painful”, you should know that it can be interpreted in a way that causes offense. People with Alzheimer’s are not stupid.
To answer your question about harm, a woman in a nursing home near where I live wandered off and was found frozen to death the next morning (facility later charged with and found guilty of neglect; still in operation though). That’s just a recent example (last fall), but they can and do hurt themselves all the time.
One of my instructors told a story from many years ago when she was a nursing assistant of a woman who lit a cigarette (you could smoke in nursing homes back then, I suppose) then apparently forgot what she was doing and lit herself on fire. She died shortly after that from complications.
I’ve been very forgetful lately (standing in front of the open fridge wondering why I’m in there before remembering I was actually looking for a hair brush) but I chalk that up to being pregnant. I’ll have to come up with a different excuse in a few months, I suppose…
As I’m aware, since I have had family members with dementia.
I mean no offense, but neither do I intend to defer to every degree of sensitivity. I believe that sensitivity is largely a matter of choice, and people choose to be way too damn sensitive. I think it’s much more fun, life affirming and soul-satisfying to make light of as much as you possibly can, instead of finding opportunities to be offended.
For instance, my oldest sister Cyd suffered a devastating stroke which, following a lifelong problem with severe epilepsy stemming from a bout of encephalitis when she was 30, left her in an emotional and mental state that was very raw and childlike. Her left side was completely incapacitated and she lost about 80% of her language ability. She reacted to many things by bursting into tears, both happy and sad, and was confused to some degree or another most of the time. But she wasn’t completely unreachable, by any means.
She had a wheelchair with a box on the side that was designed for her to rest her mostly useless arm in. One day another sister, Beth, Cyd, my mother and I were at a very busy casino (The three of them lived in Vegas and I was visiting) and we were in the ladies room, which was also very busy. After struggling with helping my sister use the toilet, we were heading back out and Beth noticed Cyd’s useless arm hanging way out to the side, blocking people’s way - and of course the people were all freaked out about it.
Beth reached over and picked up my sister’s dangling arm and loudly said: “C’mon now, Cyd, let’s put Thing back in the box…”
The people in the restroom sort of gasped, while all four of us, including Cyd, who was evidently still present enough to remember the Addams family, cracked up.
And I know like I know my own name that there are millions of people who would have been embarrassed, upset, anxious, sad, or any combination of that and more if they had been any member of my family that day.
Not us. Not then, not after. We had something to laugh about. And it was good to see Cyd laugh, especially at herself and her incredibly sad and terrible situation. I cherish that memory, because she died 6 months later. And the night of her death my family found things that made us laugh then and later, things that happened while we were all holding her in our arms as she drew her final breaths on this earth, no lie.
So I’m sorry if you are offended, and I very sincerely and very respectfully suggest that you not subject yourself to things you think will trigger pain for you. But for my own part, I’m not going to stop finding humor in things some people don’t find funny, because for me that’s what keeps terrible things from hurting even more.
Some people choose to be way too damn sensitive, and some people choose to be way too damn offensive. I would apologize for not finding the hilarity in your comparison between dropping a hair clip into the sink, and slowly and painfully losing the personalities of your loved ones over an agonizing period of years, but I really don’t feel sorry about it, so I won’t.
And therein lies the difference between us… I don’t expect such a thing.
If you mistook what this thread might be, and were startled by my tone, I’m sorry for that. If you kept reading and kept finding yourself getting more and more outraged, I don’t understand that and I don’t know why you would. I didn’t attack anyone or call for mocking of the disabled, and I think I’ve established my cred as far as knowing the pain, so it’s not reasonable to conclude that I intended to stir up yours.
You are seemingly not yet and may never be in a place where you can make light, and that’s fine. But I think it’s pretty much your responsibility to know your own limits and skip things that bother you.
In addition, it’s very common, I find, for people to say “Alzheimer’s!” when they forget something or do something wacky that suggests disengagement, I hear it on TV. Especially in direct reference to the incremental losses that we who are aging actually experience without actually having anything like Alzheimer’s.
All to say, I figured the title of the thread would make the intended tone clear.
I’m all about finding humor in unfortunate situations and I understand the need for many people to do just that. I just don’t think that equating dementia with stupidity is fair or funny at all.
Ok, then don’t read the thread. I have family who have suffered horribly from Alzheimer’s as well, but I am not taking the comments in this thread personally. I doubt the OP et al are cackling to themselves about the loss of dignity and bewilderment that characterizes dementia.
Today I found myself pumping gas. With the engine still on. At least the nozzle was in the gas tank…
I forget why I entered a room repeatedly now. I forget to buy stuff at the grocery store, despite having a list.
Best test to see if it’s Alzheimer’s I ever heard:
If you forget where you left your car keys, you’re getting old (or are over-stressed).
If you forget what your car keys are for–go to the doctor.
Alzheimer’s runs so rampant on both sides of my family that I’m pretty sure I won’t escape. I’m just 43, but had a talk with my SO last week to let her know that I’ll be exiting via my own terms when/if this happens.
I’m paranoid about my verbal fauxes pas and forgetting things; I tortured myself further by watching Iris again this weekend. Damn me!
I didn’t. I equated sticking my hand in a running disposal with stupidity.
I don’t know why you looked at this thread to begin with, as I previously pointed out, but now that you know what’s afoot and you know you are on a different wavelength, I can’t imagine why you keep returning, except that you are looking to take offense, which seems unlikely if you consider it superficially, but really isn’t at all: Finding offense gives one an outlet for one’s anger over their situation - can’t be mad at the person suffering, (or at least you can’t admit you get mad, but most people do get angry sometimes) so you get mad at someone else that brings up the pain and anger you feel about the person who is suffering.
I therefore acknowledge that you are offended, I’m sorry your life and people you love are suffering, I state again that it wasn’t my intention, and again that I do not plan on dialing myself back to what you find acceptable. (Which is probably the better thing for me to do: that way you stay mad at me and I give you an outlet. I’m ok with that, happy to be of service.)
(joke. that would be a joke. lame one, but still…joke.)
Well, I have ADD - combine that with being old and I have deteriorated to the point where I often forget why I turned my head, getting up and leaving a room to enter another is like nuclear physics on a bad day.
Yowsa… damn you right! You are NOT doomed no matter what, and please, for heaven’s sake don’t just accept it as a fait accompli! That’s like asking for it!
Keep training that brain… put it on a little brain treadmill every day…
My father-in-law, a psychiatrist, mentioned this test once as a “sure thing” in differentiating Alzheimers from run-of-the-mill old age-related memory loss.
Without any clocks or watches in sight, do the following:
Get a piece of paper and a pen. Have someone give you a time, e.g. 4:35. Draw a circle and draw the time as if it were an analog clock.
The average person, and someone who is simply having memory lapses due to age, will draw the time correctly (more-or-less, Swiss precision not required). Someone with Alzheimer’s usually can’t. They either draw something totally different, or seize up and don’t draw anything at all.
Now, I’m not a psychiatrist and this story was related to us somewhere around wine bottle 4 of a family dinner, but he is a psychiatrist and his general practitioner common-law wife was nodding in agreement, so I’m sure there’s something to this.
My grandmother had memory loss as a combination of age and alcohol abuse (Korsakoff’s syndrome). It was amazing to see how her older memories stayed intact, but she couldn’t remember what (or even if) she had for lunch just an hour before. Important things stuck - she knew I was married and knew my husband’s name, but rarely recognized him when she saw him after a long time. She always remembered each of her children’s and grandchildren’s birthdays, and sent cards. She passed away last October. I miss her.
As for the OP title: I don’t have any stories to share. Blame it on my username, or perhaps I just don’t remember my forgetful moments!
When I was young my great grandmother lived with us and my grandmother cared for her through all the stages of Alzheimer’s up until her death after having been in a vegetative state for several years. Knowing that both of my grandparents that I live with have Alzheimer’s disease it is the least funny thing in my life right now. They went to see my great aunt and uncle one day (as they have done many times in the past) and got lost for 4 or more hours until they found their way home.
You have the right to start a joking thread but those of us who don’t think that this disease is funny have the right to say so.
Right. Then I have the right to say fuck em if they can’t take a joke. Then you have a right to say, “No, fuck you, Nzinga. Fuck you.” And so on.
Every single person in the world has something that is a joke to everyone else but means something painful for themselves. Racism, sexism, murder, phobias, just about everything. Can’t people express humor without worrying about causing offense? Can we all try harder to offend on purpose as little as possible, and to be offended when others aren’t trying to offend as little as possible? Goddamn it all to death, it is annoying that every time some laughter starts to bubbling around here, someone is offended to the point of implying that people who are having harmless moments of levity are actually insensitive dolts.
Alzheimer’s in the title and, while I don’t remember exactly how old you are, I seem to recall you’re no spring chicken. It’s not like we’ve never had people talk about their disease here and, as someone who is working towards specializing in gerontology, the topic interests me. Your OP made it quite clear that it isn’t what I thought it might be, and that’s fine, but I did want to address your question of dementia patients harming themselves anyway. I think it’s silly and wrong to refer to normal bouts of forgetfulness as Alzheimer’s so I thought I would throw that out there while I was here anyway. Incidentally, I have no idea what you’re referring to when you say people do it all the time and you see it on TV.
My family is blessed in that we have no known history of dementia (or cancer, for that matter; I <3 my genes) anywhere, so your assumption that I or people I love are somehow suffering and that I need an “outlet” for that is inaccurate.
Your internet psychologist skills are about as good as you IRL lawyer skills, I see.
I don’t have Alzheimer’s, or age-related dementia. What I do have is some residual brain damage due to a nearly-week-long high fever (105+) some years ago. As a result, I will tell someone the same thing four times, convinced that I’ve actually told that very thing to four different people. I’ll walk into a room, and totally forget what I’m doing there. Yesterday, I was using the bathroom, and when I was done, I picked up the box of moist wipes, then couldn’t quite remember what I was doing with them for a moment. . .
My 10YO will often come to me and say “Mom, remember you were supposed to. . .” whatever.
I make endless notes for myself. I always have a Note Pad doc open on my PC, otherwise I can’t get to sleep for worrying that I’ll forget something important.
I think a lot of people have some kind of cognitive disorder. I think reading intelligent stuff (books, SDMB, whatever), doing word problems, etc. helps. Even if it doesn’t help, though, it’s fun!
