# So I bought three artichokes - Now what? Please help the food 'tard. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 20, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755 "2003-09-20T03:50:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/1 "2003-09-20T03:50:51Z")
I always do this and buy some interesting food I have no idea how to prepare or serve, because it looks neat and mom used to serve them when I was a little kid. I remember you eat the fleshy bottom of the leaf (I think) with some kind of dressing or sauce, but how do I prepare these things? They seem kind of tough to be tearing into. I’ve got to steam them or something - right? Any low calorie dressing suggestions. I’m so confused. ---
**Author:** ![Meka\_Leka\_Hi\_Meka\_Hiney\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Meka\_Leka\_Hi\_Meka\_Hiney\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meka_Leka_Hi_Meka_Hiney_Ho)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/2 "2003-09-20T03:59:39Z")
I don’t have any helpful information for you–I’m just waiting to see how many people jump on you for saying “'tard.” Good luck with your artichokes. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/3 "2003-09-20T04:22:52Z")
[How to Cook Artichokes](http://www.pelicannetwork.net/artichokes.cook.htm) [How to Eat Artichokes](http://www.pelicannetwork.net/artichokes.eat.htm) Don’t cook artichokes in an alumninum pan, as a chemical reaction will occur and the pan will be permanently stained. See also: [RecipeSource: Artichokes](http://www.recipesource.com/fgv/vegetables/artichokes/00/rec0007.htm) [AllSands.com - Cooking Artichokes](http://allsands.com/Food/HowTo/cookingartichok_wyf_gn.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/4 "2003-09-20T06:07:04Z")
I just throw it in a pot and boil for 35 minutes or so, and then dip in lemon butter (simply lemon juice and a little melted butter). Mmmmmmmm… artichooooookes… And hate those so-called artichoke hearts sold in stores, pickled in a jar. Nothing beats **fresh** artichoke. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/5 "2003-09-20T07:16:54Z")
I also throw the choke in a pot of water and boil it until tender. I only do minimal prep…I cut off the hardest bit of the stem, and I pull off the smaller outer leaves that are on the stem. Generally, I don’t trim the petals before or after cooking. Lemon butter is a very good dipping sauce. I like to make a regular bread stuffing, though, and put a bit of stuffing on each petal as I eat it. Stuffing: Butter Diced celery Diced onion Bread crumbs Parsley Other herbs as dictated by availability and whim Parmesan cheese (optional but very good) Saute the celery and onion in some butter. After they’re cooked, melt more butter and add bread crumbs and herbs, stirring until well mixed. Sorry, I have no idea of the measurements, I just do this by eye. Grandma Bodoni used to trim her artichokes, boil them, and then she’d remove the choke. Then she’d put stuffing between each petal and the next, and pile more stuffing in the spot where the choke was. THEN she’d drizzle a beaten egg over the whole thing, and fry it (cut side down) in a little olive oil. Personally, I think that this is a splendid dish, but it’s too much of a pain for me to make regularly. Do try at least one choke with Parmesan cheese in the lemon butter, though. It is astonishingly good. ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/6 "2003-09-20T09:43:33Z")
Garlic in the lemon-butter for me please. Or just do lemon olive-oil with garlic, a little salt and black pepper. drizzle yer mix over yer artichoke to save having to dip, and off you go. Do NOT get the “hair” from the center of the artichoke in your mouth, it’s horrible and sharp! ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/7 "2003-09-20T11:53:26Z")
Hey, dude, didja miss this thread from a while back: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=209590](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=209590) And it has a link to an ever earlier thread. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/8 "2003-09-20T11:54:44Z")
Chop the hearts up and put them on top of a home-made thin crust pizza. Bliss! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/9 "2003-09-20T13:06:20Z")
I’m boring. I just boil the things with some crushed garlic, then eat it with melted butter. Hey, it works for me. ---
**Author:** ![BobbySuezQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@BobbySuezQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobbySuezQ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/10 "2003-09-20T14:49:45Z")
I have a friend who got all the information off a website on how to prepare artichokes, but she did not know that you don’t eat the leaves. So, be sure you don’t do that, scrape em over your teeth… the tender inner ones are ok to eat whole. Also be sure to clip the spines. Those things hurt when they stick ya. rub the cut artichoke with lemon. I throw them in a pot with parsley, garlic cloves, a couple halved lemons, chicken broth and a glug of white wine. I like them with a squeeze of lemon, or melted butter. Some folks use some kind of mayonaise dip thing. oh … don’t eat the fuzzy stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/11 "2003-09-20T15:42:48Z")
Any vegetable that requires that much work belongs in a landfill. These things rank right up there with Belgian endive as one of the more inedible “foods” on the planet, IMO. “Scrape the leaves with your teeth…” WTF is THAT all about? ::grumble:: ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/12 "2003-09-20T20:50:26Z")
Of course, since you got 3,you can juggle them. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/13 "2003-09-21T04:55:17Z")
Okay, I gotta ask. **Chefguy** , what’s your beef with endive? I had an endive salad tonight, and I don’t recall poor Mr. TeaElle (who’s on chef duty while I’m bedresting) complaining about the prep work. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-bought-three-artichokes-now-what-please-help-the-food-tard/202755/14 "2003-09-21T05:17:30Z")
Steam/boil untill outer leaves pull/fall off very easily. Dip individual leaves in Hellman’s/Best Foods mayo, scrape soft leaf pulp off with teeth. Once you get down in there far enough, you can separate the heart from the rest of the leaves very easily with a fork, scrape off the hairs, set it aside for last. Go back to the leaf portion, scrape out any remaining hairs, fold it and hold the whole thing in your hand, dip in mayo. These center leaves are quite tender and you can usually eat at least halfway to the tip of the leaves. Slowly savor the heart, as it is truly the delicacy of the delicacy. There’s also a great scene in the film “Antonia’s Line” that explains the whole process (minus the American mayo), quite thoroughly, as a woman attempts to woo another woman with a very sensual and suggestive oration about how to eat the delectible and delicious flower.