# So I gave eharmony a try **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2006, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809 "2006-02-03T09:11:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/21 "2006-02-03T20:10:13Z")
No experience with any of these dating services, but if i were in the market i think the TV commercials for eHarmony would be enough to put me off. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/22 "2006-02-03T20:29:18Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > a good 3 plus hours by plane - I’m in NY How _you_ doin’? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/23 "2006-02-03T20:38:25Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > How _you_ doin’? > > 😉 that’s closer - you up by Canadia or Taxachusettes? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/24 "2006-02-03T20:45:54Z")
I also tried eHarmony. I figured, if this site is as good as the commercials say they are, then I should contact everyone they sent my way. Very few ever bothered to respond, and those that did usually petered out by stage 3. I met my current girlfriend on [My Space](http://www.myspace.com). Not only is it a much more relaxed atmosphere than eHarmony, but it’s free. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/25 "2006-02-03T20:46:49Z")
Who buys a house with someone they _met_ 3 months ago? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/26 "2006-02-03T21:26:51Z")
**Incubus** , it sounds like you know what you want, and you’re going out to get it. Good for you. I started doing online dating when I was ready for a committed relationship, and Jim and I will be celebrating the 6th anniversary of the day we met next month. I agree with everyone who said you need to meet in person, too - email a couple times, talk on the phone, make sure you’re both on the same page, then meet ASAP. Why doesn’t the Straight Dope have a singles club? Who better for Dopers than other Dopers? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/27 "2006-02-03T22:17:22Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Why doesn’t the Straight Dope have a singles club? Who better for Dopers than other Dopers? Because the Chicago Reader doesn’t want the competition. No, seriously-it’s been suggested before and shot down by the powers that be. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/28 "2006-02-03T22:23:01Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > that’s closer - you up by Canadia or Taxachusettes? Well, now, if you’re lookin’ for someone closer, I’m in RI! 😃 'Cause it never gets old: How _you_ doin? 😃😉 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/29 "2006-02-03T22:36:50Z")
\>squeee\< I haven’t had this much attention in years! 😃 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/30 "2006-02-03T22:38:06Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > Well, now, if you’re lookin’ for someone closer, I’m in RI! 😃 > 'Cause it never gets old: > > How _you_ doin? 😃😉 I’m going to be in Attleboro in April to meet my new grand nephew Meet for a drink or something? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/31 "2006-02-03T22:58:17Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Who buys a house with someone they _met_ 3 months ago? > > Wow. Hubby and I did. Of course, we were married by then. In fact, we’d been married 2 months by then. Some times, there’s no reason to wait… ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/32 "2006-02-04T00:48:52Z")
I tried [match.com](http://match.com) a number of years ago, but it really wasn’t for me. On the other hand, a good friend of mine met his wife through [match.com](http://match.com). They were in their late thirties and had a protracted email correspondence before meeting in person, even though they lived only a dozen miles apart. My best friend just got engaged to a woman he met through eHarmony and dated for about a year. They are in their forties and live about 40 miles from each other. My friend was specifically looking for a girlfriend and was very particular and explicit about the kind of woman he was looking for. I’d like to hear more stories about how online services have helped people meet friends to hang out with. Does this work for 40-somethings like me, or just for kids in their 20s? [aside] I actually met the founder of [match.com](http://match.com) several times – he was a biz school classmate of a friend of mine. Gary was an entertaining character, but came off as some one I wouldn’t trust. He got forced out of [match.com](http://match.com) pretty early. He bought up a bunch of domain names in the mid 90’s before most people realized they could be valuable. One of these was [sex.com](http://sex.com), which was hijacked for a number of years. He only got it back after protracted litigation witht he hijacker and Verisign. [sex.com](http://sex.com) is now his main business. [/aside] ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/33 "2006-02-04T01:55:29Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > [sex.com](http://sex.com) is now his main business. > [/aside] Wasn’t [sex.com](http://sex.com) just sold for something like $12 million? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/34 "2006-02-04T02:06:15Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > that’s closer - you up by Canadia or Taxachusettes? i’m in new york so…um…how you doin? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/35 "2006-02-04T02:19:07Z")
I’m fine, baby, how _you_ doin’? ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/36 "2006-02-04T03:28:09Z")
I tried eHarmony for a few months and was fairly happy with the results - got to exchanging e-mail with 6 women, phone calls with 4 of them, and met 2 of them in real life. Unfortunately they all lived 2 hours away or further and partly because of the distance, didn’t lead to any relationships. I’m sure this isn’t such a big problem if you live in a larger city. ---
**Author:** ![Leibowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@Leibowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leibowitz)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/37 "2006-02-04T03:52:40Z")
I have been a member of Match for a few years, although in part that is because I am too lazy to have it stop automatically deducting the monthly fee from my bank account. I have actually dated a few guys from there, one for 6 months. I agree that online dating works best if you know what you want. Mostly I just like to look at the pictures and profiles. It is like a man schmorgasbord. I usually keep my profile hidden because I don’t like my pictures and I think my narrative sounds off-putting. I have been meaning to attach new pics but can’t choose (I do not photograph well and get very weirded out by how I look.) Anyone want to help? ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/38 "2006-02-04T03:57:55Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Hubby and I did. Of course, we were married by then. In fact, we’d been married 2 months by then. Some times, there’s no reason to wait… Get _ **out!** _ You dated your husband for only one month before marrying him? :eek: Can I ask how old you were at the time? And how long you’ve been married now? ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/39 "2006-02-04T04:02:10Z")
> [@Leibowitz](#): > > I have been a member of Match for a few years, although in part that is because I am too lazy to have it stop automatically deducting the monthly fee from my bank account. I have actually dated a few guys from there, one for 6 months. I agree that online dating works best if you know what you want. Mostly I just like to look at the pictures and profiles. It is like a man schmorgasbord. I usually keep my profile hidden because I don’t like my pictures and I think my narrative sounds off-putting. I have been meaning to attach new pics but can’t choose (I do not photograph well and get very weirded out by how I look.) Anyone want to help? I’d be happy to give my opinion on which pic is most flattering. I have a bit of experience writing ads, too, and had one a few years ago that got quite a few replies, if you’re looking for help with that. My email addy is in my profile. Just put SDMB in the subject line… ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809/40 "2006-02-04T04:44:04Z")
I wasn’t too impressed by eHarmony. The whole process also seemed much too slow. I’m an impatient person and I want to meet in person as soon as possible. Funnily enough, though I’ve been a member of a couple of personals sites for a while, I’ve never met anyone I’ve had more than a couple of dates with. I’ve met people online that I later had relationships with, but never somewhere where that was the main purpose. It was the same non-dating-related newsgroup. I think it’s a lot like real life–often if you’re consciously looking for someone, you won’t meet anyone. I finally had a serious response on OKCupid last night, from a guy only thirty-four miles away. Well, thirty-four miles away now. That’ll only last for a month or so, as I am heading much farther north at the earliest possible convenience. Ah, well. He IMed me and within five minutes, we were already getting on each other’s nerves. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-gave-eharmony-a-try/342809.md?page=3)