# So I got some bad news on New Years Day (somewhat long) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803 "2009-01-11T16:39:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/41 "2009-01-13T21:39:09Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Good news! We met with an oncologist today and he wholeheartedly endorsed the current plan to have surgery. Ok, so surgery to have a kidney removed doesn’t _sound_ like good news, but at least all the doctors agree that this is the right thing to do. Surgery is Thursday, so keep sending those good thoughts. Good thoughts still coming! My dad had a kidney removed when he was 80. :eek: He was already fighting prostate cancer when they found cancer in his kidney and removed the kidney. He came through the kidney removal just fine. I’m sure you’ll do better than an 80 year old! Best wishes to ya still. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/42 "2009-01-15T14:07:07Z")
Ok, here we go. [My surgery is today at noon. I am in “let’s get it over with” mood, and Brynda is being a rock. She is helpful with the medical stuff, but even the doctors are scratching their heads. I am only 32, in good health, and don’t have any risk factors like drinking or smoking. On the CT, it doesn’t look like any particular type of cancer. Weird. The good news is that my parents are coming to visit from England. My mum had to get medical clearance, and then bought a ticket on Wednesday to fly on Saturday. I don’t want to think about what that must have cost. My dad is coming a week later; he is a business owner and has loose ends to tie up. They will be a big help to both of us, I think. Thanks for all the good thoughts. We need them. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/43 "2009-01-15T14:10:32Z")
**doubles up on prayers and good vibes** **Rick** – remember that work I put into your resume? I don’t want that to be wasted. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/44 "2009-01-15T14:35:21Z")
Best wishes \*\*RickQ \*\*and **Brynda**. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/45 "2009-01-15T16:36:27Z")
I’m beaming healing thoughts your way, Rick. If good wishes help, you, Brynda and your family should be pretty well stoked by now. The best of all possible luck to you!–Veb ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/46 "2009-01-15T22:47:16Z")
Some more good thoughts and prayers headed your way…hope the surgery went well. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/47 "2009-01-15T23:19:36Z")
More healing thoughts sent your way! Hopefully the worst is behind you now. ---
**Author:** ![schnuckiputzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@schnuckiputzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnuckiputzi)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/48 "2009-01-16T00:07:28Z")
Another cancer survivor here! Lymphoma, too. Keep strong and take care of yourself! Best wishes! ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/49 "2009-01-16T05:58:05Z")
Rick’s wife, Brynda, here, posting bedside. His hospital, bless there fuzzy hearts, has a wifi network. The medical types keep saying " ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/50 "2009-01-16T06:05:25Z")
You and **Brynda** are in my thoughts. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/51 "2009-01-16T06:08:25Z")
Shit, posting on an unfamiliar laptop in the dark, so Rick won’t be disturbed in his medication-induced sleep. The medical types keep saying what a big surgery it was. The mass of kidney, tumor and spleen was about football-sized, which is pretty damn enormous. He should feel better when it is gone. The doctor made it clear that it is a hard road ahead. Stories of those who made it are much appreciated. Rick is a wonderful, sweet man. We met here 7 years ago and fell in love. I waited so long for him. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/52 "2009-01-16T07:28:06Z")
**{{{{Brynda}}}}** ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/53 "2009-01-16T14:00:24Z")
**Brynda** - Can I do anything to help? Feed pets, bring snacks to the hospital? My mother (and I) survived uterine cancer while she was carrying me. Editted to add: My uncle and my cousin have both survived kidney cancer and are leading full, normal lives. StG ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/54 "2009-01-16T16:12:17Z")
Still thinking good thoughts for y’all. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/55 "2009-01-16T16:34:05Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > The medical types keep saying what a big surgery it was. The mass of kidney, tumor and spleen was about football-sized, which is pretty damn enormous. Holy shit, that’s a big one. However Ripley’s has informed me you’re nowhere near the record, if that’s any comfort. Recovery is frustrating, but the little milestones and steps forward become very meaningful, so you’ll start seeing signs of recovery and encouragement soon. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/56 "2009-01-16T19:48:11Z")
Thanks, everyone, especially **St. Germain**. For now we are fine, but I will keep your kind offer in mind. We are up to 5 cats now, having adopted a stray a day or two after Rick’s diagnosis. He is sweet and loving good medicine for Rick. Rick sat in a chair bedside for over an hour! Quite the accomplishment. He is such a trooper. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/57 "2009-01-16T23:53:17Z")
Luck to you both. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/58 "2009-01-17T00:03:04Z")
It’s been 7 years since the two of you married!!! WTH…it was just yesterday you were announcing your wedding. I have been keeping you both in my thoughts! ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/59 "2009-01-17T01:10:28Z")
**Brynda** - I have one of those portable DVD players. Would you guys like to borrow it? I could throw _Firefly_ in too, or the Colin Firth verson of _Pride and Prejudice_. StG ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803/60 "2009-01-17T01:52:13Z")
I’m going to offer some unsolicited advice. Please forgive me if I’m out of line. Recovery is a lonely, scary, depressing time. (probably less so, since he has you.) Tell his friends that visiting in the evening is nice, but if they really want to help, they should come often and not \*just \*at night. If they can’t come, they should call. It is frustrating to have to depend on others all the time. I recommend you let him try for himself (within the doctor’s bounds) whatever he wants. When you are used to doing for yourself and having that taken away it is so frustrating. The drugs and pain may change him. If he isn’t himself, remember it is probably because he \*isn’t \*himself. But he will one day be himself again. I haven’t had cancer, but I’ve had a few recoveries. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-got-some-bad-news-on-new-years-day-somewhat-long/480803.md?page=4)