# So I guess I'm having a threesome **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 29, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949 "2010-01-29T21:07:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/101 "2010-02-03T17:15:39Z")
The OP said they were polyamorous. I assume that means both of them. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/102 "2010-02-03T17:16:20Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I can’t tell from the OP; was Leia ever actually aware that Han was seriously purporting to propose a threesome? Or did she think he was joking? > > And even if so, I also wonder whether Leia knew Han was coming over to the OP by himself. Being willing to participate in a threesome is not necessarily the same as being willing to loan your guy out without you. Is there a story here, I wonder? ---
**Author:** ![Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecc23a/32.png) [@Nicolas\_Bourbaki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicolas_Bourbaki)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/103 "2010-02-04T08:14:51Z")
Yeah, Leia is pretty distant from the actual decision-making here, but she does mention she has girlfriends on the side, so I doubt he’s hiding anything from her. I’m sure there’s so many ‘seeking two people for a threesome!’ types that setting these things up probably gets mundane for the experienced polyamourist. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/104 "2010-02-04T16:45:50Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I can’t tell from the OP; was Leia ever actually aware that Han was seriously purporting to propose a threesome? Or did she think he was joking? > > And even if so, I also wonder whether Leia knew Han was coming over to the OP by himself. Being willing to participate in a threesome is not necessarily the same as being willing to loan your guy out without you. Leia was aware of what he was proposing; she was a part of the conversation, and he even asked her if she “approved of me”, and she nodded. Han also told me that Leia knew he was coming over by himself, and said she was actually the one who originally suggested it. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/105 "2010-02-04T17:50:43Z")
Cool. Pardon my suspicious mind. Good luck with all of this. They say communication is the key to making this arrangement work, so it sounds like you’re going about it in the right way. It might be good of you to check in directly with Leia once in a while to see how she’s doing with this relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/106 "2010-03-01T14:18:04Z")
Game called on account of new relationship (mine, that is). The three of us had planned it for two weeks ago on a Monday. None of us had classes that day, so I was at home waiting…and waiting…and waiting. I text them both to ask what’s up and get no response. The next day I catch up with Han in the cafe and ask what happened. He tells me “sorry, it didn’t pan out”. Yes, I…can see that. I didn’t see the problem, honestly. Leia has a car, and neither of them had anything particular to do. Did they just not feel like it that day? 😕 I started to see a pattern that these two have; namely, they plan a lot of fun events (not all of them sex-related), but it hardly ever works out for whatever reason. Also, they both go through some weird mood swings; at times they’re incredibly friendly and warm and welcoming, but much of the time they act pissy, like they’d be rather be anywhere but where they are now, even if they’re surrounded by friends. None of that really matters, because earlier this week, I happened to meet a guy with whom I had an instant connection. I feel extremely comfortable when I’m around him, and it’s so right and natural just to stand near him and hold his hand. I had feelings for him within a day of meeting him, and he feels the same. I’ve never had something like this happen to me, and I’d like to hold onto it as long as possible. This new person is not really the type to approve of me having outside threesomes, so, unfortunately, that’s out the window. I kind of wish I had gotten the chance to have that experience, and that Han and Leia had been a little more reliable. There will probably be chances later, but at least I’ll always know that I was asked! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/107 "2010-03-01T14:30:29Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > Excellent, we all love fuckbuddies (well, I do). I echo the sentiment that it might be a good idea to check that Leia is down with all this at a later date, but if what you need now is a good and regular filling then have at it. I thought the whole point was that you _don’t_ love them… > [@Stauderhorse](#): > > Game called on account of new relationship (mine, that is). _anxiously awaits “So I guess I’m having a foursome” thread_ Oh, and judges’ ruling: at four does it officially become an orgy? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/108 "2010-03-01T15:04:24Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > _anxiously awaits “So I guess I’m having a foursome” thread_ > > Oh, and judges’ ruling: at four does it officially become an orgy? I thought it went, “twosome, threesome, foursome, more-some” - so “more than 4” would count as an orgy? And - hooray for new relationships and maybe dodging a bullet with this flighty couple. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/109 "2010-03-01T15:11:56Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I thought the whole point was that you _don’t_ love them… You know what I meant. 😛 > [@](#): > > _anxiously awaits “So I guess I’m having a foursome” thread_ > > Oh, and judges’ ruling: at four does it officially become an orgy? No, orgy starts at six. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/110 "2010-03-01T15:16:01Z")
So noted. Does that include the cameraman? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/111 "2010-03-01T15:59:46Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > No, orgy starts at six. That seems a little early…will you break for dinner? And, **stauderhorse** , welcome to the great big world of casual hookups, otherwise known as The Fount of Flakiness. I can’t even begin to calculate how many of these (duos or more-os) never happened because someone just decided they weren’t feeling it and never bothered to actually call and let me or us know, as if we were actual human beings instead of 3-D porn films. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949/112 "2010-03-01T16:02:54Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > We agreed to meet Monday; he walks over to my house at about ten thirty in the morning and strips to his underwear. I’m much calmer at this point than I was the last time I had sex, probably because Han and I aren’t completely infatuated, so it definitely lessens the pressure. I put on a DVD of RHPS, and he starts quoting the audience participation lines while sitting on my bed in his boxers. After a few minutes, he starts undressing me. > > We had sex twice (yes, while the movie was playing in the background…gives a whole new meaning to the Time Warp song), and holy crap, am I glad I chose to go with it. Speaking of sex during movies, my most memorable movie sex moment had to be the ice cream shop scene from _Girl, Interrupted_. Being in the middle of a romantic encounter while the screen is yelling “peppermint dick!” definitely makes a casual encounter difficult to not laugh through. > [@Stauderhorse](#): > > Game called on account of new relationship (mine, that is). Congrats on the new relationship! Now that you’ve had casual sex and emotional sex, you’ll get to the point where emotional sex may be more meaningful than casual sex, but doesn’t make you more nervous. Also, boo for Han and Leia being so unreliable in the time that you were pre-arranging fun time-- it’s never good to be stuck in those situations where you’re waiting on someone and they don’t show. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-guess-im-having-a-threesome/526949.md?page=5)