# So I had a date- with a sub **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 5, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087 "2010-10-05T04:50:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/41 "2010-10-08T13:07:00Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > > [@sleestak](#): > > > > \*Insert dom/sub joke here. > > Psst… in the BDSM world Dom _always_ gets capitalized. As does Master. Hey, if he’s the master, he can decide whether it gets capitalized or not! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/42 "2010-10-08T13:08:15Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > > [@sleestak](#): > > > > Then, just to add another complication to the situation, a woman at work has been hitting on me rather hard. > > Isn’t that always the way? Somebody needs to invent a way to store extra romances until you need them. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/43 "2010-10-08T13:25:31Z")
That’s what crawlspaces under floorboards are for. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/44 "2010-10-08T13:26:05Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > > [@robert\_andrews](#): > > > > You sunk my battleship! > > With your pink torpedooooooo! I’m sure he thinks of it as getting his ASROCs off in her passive array. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/45 "2010-10-08T13:40:10Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > That’s what crawlspaces under floorboards are for. Well, normally one would use the dungeon, but I’m guessing the sub will be rather interested in that. Oh, and **sleestak** , good on ya. Though I might worry that a woman sending me NSFW pics after only a couple dates might also be totally psycho (the fact that she’s really hot only raises my suspicions). But since I like to see people in happy, adventurous relationships, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s just sane, but frisky. ---
**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/46 "2010-10-08T16:28:12Z")
How did it come up? Was she just like “Well, let me tell a little bit about myself, I’m an Aries, which means I am passionate and love animals. I work in Public relations. I am really into Celine Dion music. I love italian food, though I am trying to watch my weight. My favorite movie is Notting Hill, My favorite TV show is CSI Miami and anything on the home improvement network. I also enjoy being ordered around and beaten. How about you?” ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/47 "2010-10-08T17:55:56Z")
BDSM on the SDMB. Now with more subs, torpedos and NSFW pics! ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/48 "2010-10-08T19:32:39Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > I have just one question: Is she SDMB hot or really hot? This made me laugh out loud! For those of us who are not quite in the know about it, how does a dom/sub relationship work? Do you downplay it while in public then ramp it up when in the bedroom? How much does it differ from say the whips/chains/chips & dips thing one sees in TV or movies? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/49 "2010-10-08T20:26:59Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > > [@sleestak](#): > > > > \*Insert dom/sub joke here. > > Psst… in the BDSM world Dom _always_ gets capitalized. As does Master. I disagree. I perceive two schools of capitalization in the BDSM world: those who use capitals to indicate dominance and submissive, as you mentioned (including submissives who don’t capitalize the pronoun I when speaking of themselves); and those who follow traditional English grammar without regard to BDSM hierarchy. Personally, I fall into the latter category, and find the former to be a bit silly. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/50 "2010-10-08T22:31:53Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > > [@Rigamarole](#): > > > > Psst… in the BDSM world Dom _always_ gets capitalized. As does Master. > > I disagree. I perceive two schools of capitalization in the BDSM world: those who use capitals to indicate dominance and submissive, as you mentioned (including submissives who don’t capitalize the pronoun I when speaking of themselves); and those who follow traditional English grammar without regard to BDSM hierarchy. Personally, I fall into the latter category, and find the former to be a bit silly. That’s kind of where I am too. Like people who spell women “womyn”, it just smacks of “trying too hard.” If you feel a particular way is normal and natural for you to behave, ie submissive or dominant, then you tend to talk about it the normal and natural way you talk about everything else. Affecting a new style of writing seems to emphasize the “otherness” of the behavior, as if you’re putting on a facade. There’s nothing wrong with it, but, as I said, it always makes me think “well, look who’s trying to draw attention to their peccadilloes.” As someone who is very much a live and let live kind of person, I don’t care what you do in your bedroom(or living room, or dungeon, whatever), and having a distinctive writing style that throws it up in my face just makes me think you need external validation or are getting your jollies from semi-exhibitionist behavior. Meh to both motives, IMHO. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/51 "2010-10-08T22:48:45Z")
It’s _wimmin_. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/52 "2010-10-09T00:41:38Z")
\ I like to go swimmin with bow-legged wimmen… ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/53 "2010-10-09T20:19:32Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > > [@Shark](#): > > > > I honestly thought he made a date with one girl online, and when it came time for the face to face date, she sent someone else in her place. Sometimes I enjoy the posts I make up in my mind based only on the thread title better than the ones I read. > > **Me too! I kept waiting for the part where another girl stepped in, and when I got to the end of the OP I was so confused that I read it all over again**. Me three! I was wondering if he’d like the replacement date better and everything, too. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/54 "2010-10-10T06:14:46Z")
I figured I’d give you all an update on my girlie. We spent Thursday night through this evening together (Saturday). We had a wonderful time. She met my parents today, I had to run over to my parents house to help my Dad out with some things. She seemed to like them quite a bit. We also did a lot of talking about things. We are going collar shopping this week. I really dig this woman. Slee ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/55 "2010-10-11T13:13:35Z")
Wow. Are you going collar shopping as in, she needs something to wear when you play, or collar shopping as in she wants you to collar her? The second one is a pretty significant commitment for most people. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/56 "2010-10-11T19:45:25Z")
> [@puddleglum](#): > > How did it come up? > Was she just like “Well, let me tell a little bit about myself, I’m an Aries, which means I am passionate and love animals. I work in Public relations. I am really into Celine Dion music. I love italian food, though I am trying to watch my weight. My favorite movie is Notting Hill, My favorite TV show is CSI Miami and anything on the home improvement network. I also enjoy being ordered around and beaten. How about you?” Actually, this person would probably deserve to be beaten. ---
**Author:** ![sleestak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@sleestak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleestak)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/57 "2010-10-11T23:36:03Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > Wow. Are you going collar shopping as in, she needs something to wear when you play, or collar shopping as in she wants you to collar her? The second one is a pretty significant commitment for most people. The second one. It is a big commitment, and it is sort of fast but it seems right. She is very different and I totally dig the woman. She appears to be on the exact same page. We’ve been on the edge of the big L word. Slee ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/58 "2010-10-12T00:16:42Z")
You sound very happy. 🙂 Best of luck to you! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/59 "2010-10-12T00:25:06Z")
> [@sleestak](#): > > We’ve been on the edge of the big L word. Leather? ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087/60 "2010-10-12T02:39:47Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > > [@Isamu](#): > > > > With your pink torpedooooooo! > > I’m sure he thinks of it as getting his ASROCs off in her passive array. 😉 Either way, there is bound to be flooding below decks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-a-date-with-a-sub/556087.md?page=4)