# So, I had my first prostate exam today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 17, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212 "2005-01-17T17:16:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/21 "2005-01-18T02:09:09Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > I had it done last year for the first time. You’d think that, as a gay man, it wouldn’t be such a big deal for me, but I’ll tell you, doctors have a lot to learn about being gentle down there. Do they ever. From what I hear, the ladies in turn get to face docs who keep the requisite probing apparatus in the freezer until a minute before the examination ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/22 "2005-01-18T02:29:56Z")
I had my first prostate exam a couple years ago. My first fart afterwards sounded like a tuba! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/23 "2005-01-18T02:50:20Z")
My doctor for my first one was a woman. I was a bit timid about it until she held up her slim female-type finger and said “If this is the biggest thing you ever have stuck up there, feel extremely lucky.” I still have a woman doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Lockz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Lockz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockz)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/24 "2005-01-18T03:36:02Z")
> [@The Surb](#): > > And DAMN, if he didn’t have the looongest fingers. What, would you rather have the doc have long fingers and not have to put all of his finger in to reach the spot, or would you rather him have short fingers and have him cram his hand in to reach?? Just glad I haven’t had one yet … had a scare there my last physical when my doc snapped on a rubber glove, but he just had to check my balls. _phew_ ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/25 "2005-01-18T03:36:28Z")
I was never too thrilled with prostate exams either. _ **HOWEVER** _ … as **nivlac** mentioned, a colonoscopy is worse !!! Fortunately, I have _never_ had one. From those that have had one, I hear it is a triple discomfort because: (perhaps TMI) 1. The night before, you have to drink about a _gallon_ of laxative which is NOT the most refreshing beverage in the world. 2. Then, because of Step 1, you end up evacuating everything that could possibly be in your intestinal tract all the way back to your tonsils. (It may be exaggeration, but some folks have said that you’ll use up a roll of toilet paper). 3. The next day you get probed (you know where), and I hear THAT is somewhat uncomfortable. Well, by comparison, a prostate exam seems like a walk in the park doesn’t it? Personally, I’ve had a spinal fluid exam (hurts), countless kidney stone attacks, upper and lower GI tests, etc. With the experience that middle age has brought me, the dread of a prostate exam pales in comparison to a great many other tests I’ve undergone. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/26 "2005-01-18T03:49:55Z")
What do you say to your doctor after a prostate examination? “Call me” :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/27 "2005-01-18T08:53:23Z")
My doctor (the one with the short fingers) performed such an examination on me. He pushed so hard that I thought he was trying to work up to the elbow; while simulatneously making the remark “You big guys are the hardest to do.” My response? “I can’t change the distance from my anus to my prostate any more than you can make your fingers longer and more nimble.” Me and my big mouth. Yeah… THAT was an uncomfortable moment all-around! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/28 "2005-01-18T09:17:22Z")
> [@nivlac](#): > > Heh heh. Wait 'til you get your first colonoscopy. Now see that’s just wrong. You’d think doctors could come up with another way to check for that stuff… … But no! they’re too busy figuring out how to make womens tits bigger! Can’t they just make a mini-sized MRI to stick your penis in?? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/29 "2005-01-18T09:53:15Z")
I’ve had a few. Now I don’t even bother to study. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/30 "2005-01-18T13:18:03Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Now see that’s just wrong. You’d think doctors could come up with another way to check for that stuff… > > … But no! they’re too busy figuring out how to make womens tits bigger! > Can’t they just make a mini-sized MRI to stick your penis in?? Now THERE’S a patent just waiting to happen. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/31 "2005-01-18T13:21:18Z")
Had one at 21 when I became a sperm donor (no, it wasn’t a method of collection). Had one a couple of months ago from my woman doctor. No big deal. ---
**Author:** ![ponderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2bfe46/32.png) [@ponderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponderer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/32 "2005-01-18T13:29:15Z")
Oh, man, here’s to you for surviving that ordeal. The first time I had it done when the doctor started to insert his finger(s?) I started walking forward and he had to follow me until my head was against a wall before he could complete it. I told a friend that he (the doctor) must’ve really had large finger(s?). He commented, “Are you sure it was his finger?” I told him I couldn’t answer that because my eyes were watering way too much to see anything. I wrote finger(s?) because I am not sure whether it was one digit or multiples. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/33 "2005-01-18T14:12:07Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > From what I hear, the ladies in turn get to face docs who keep the requisite probing apparatus in the freezer until a minute before the examination It used to feel like that, but lately, the docs seem to have switched from the old stainless steel speculum to a plastic, disposable model. Much more comfortable, but still has the same discomfort when they start opening the thing up inside you… :eek: Still, various gynecological problems seem to run in my family, so a once-a-year visit is well worth the peace of mind. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/34 "2005-01-18T14:13:26Z")
Ahh Yes, I just had a full physical myself. As a man of 42. In my case, I was on my side on the exam table, no bending over for me. I think the biggest indignity of the whole thing is wiping your arse afterwords. A few years ago, when I had my very first prostate exam (different Dr.), I told the doc I was uncomfortable with this procedure. He calmly replied; “Enright3, you don’t worry unless you feel both of my hands on your hips”. :eek: :eek: Why I oughta…! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Escorpio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@El\_Escorpio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Escorpio)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/35 "2005-01-18T14:17:24Z")
I had a colonoscopy about six months ago-- I’m young (32) but my uncle, my dad’s twin, died of colon cancer at 44 and his son, my cousin (28), discovered recently he had benign polyps in there, so off I went. You have to drink about four gallons of stuff that tastes like warm sweat, and about every hour it makes your stomach say GROOORRP, and you run off to the bathroom to feel like a booster rocket for 5 minutes. I dutifully abandoned all pride for my time there, so the rest wasn’t so bad. They give you something to make you loopy and then cram a techno-garden-hose up there and look around. I think it took 30-45 minutes but I was so high we might as well have been blowing bubbles and giggling for as much as I cared. The only really uncomfortable part was that I was in Japan, and although I understood the doctors and nurses fairly well (with my limited Japanese and their limited English and cell phone English dictionaries), there was the whole novelty of a six foot tall foreigner coming in for this procedure that no one seemed able to ignore. So when they’re probing around, before the procedure or the drugs, and I’m trying to think of a clear blue ocean, or a tropical rain forest, or whatever, the nurse says in Japanese, “Do you think you could give me English lessons?”. ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/36 "2005-01-18T15:00:57Z")
Can you be anaetha…aneetha… knocked out for it? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/37 "2005-01-19T00:19:42Z")
First of all, I feel no sympathy at all for the persons of the male persuasion and their whining about discomfort and loss of personal dignity during a medical exam. Gimme a break. Secondly, my experience with colonoscopy was that it was no big deal. They put me in a state called “twilight sleep,” which is, I believe, a very light anaesthesia, and I remembered nothing of the experience. The prep ordeal is annoying, though. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/38 "2005-01-19T01:03:56Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > First of all, I feel no sympathy at all for the persons of the male persuasion and their whining about discomfort and loss of personal dignity during a medical exam. Gimme a break. Nor should you feel any sympathy. Had the prostate exam a few times now, all at the hands (or fingers, anyway) of woman docs. No biggie. Maybe they’re gentler than guy docs, I don’t know. But it lasts just a minute (if that), and I know the gyn exam prodding goes on for a _lot_ longer than that. And then there’s mammograms. Yeah, you wimmin definitely got the wrong end of the deal, with respect to physical exams. > [@](#): > > Secondly, my experience with colonoscopy was that it was no big deal. They put me in a state called “twilight sleep,” which is, I believe, a very light anaesthesia, and I remembered nothing of the experience. The prep ordeal is annoying, though. Annoying prep, but that’s about the extent of it. I did wake up to mild discomfort a coupla times during the colonoscopy, but then went back under again. Woke up afterwards, went home, went on with life. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/39 "2005-01-19T02:41:41Z")
For those of the male persuasion who don’t understand how anybody could find anything shoved up there to be pleasurable (ignoring the fact that I don’t like the idea at all myself) my experience is that in a medical context I am not at all fond of having things put in my vagina…while in a sexual context, all is good. It’s just a mind game, people. In case of infection or something awful like that, you do have my sympathy, but not for a quick poke. At least you don’t have them cranking it open! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212/40 "2005-01-19T03:51:56Z")
I’m thirty seven. I will never be forty. Thirty ten, thirty eleven, thirthy twelve, etc… but this: > [@Dragwyr](#): > > What do you say to your doctor after a prostate examination? “Call me” almost makes me want to tell 'em I’m forty NOW, just so I can use the joke! It’s my understanding that Prostate Cancer is no big deal because usually you die of old age before it spreads or outright kills you. Given that, why do they bother checking anyway? And why can’t they do vaginal MRIs instead of … uh… “speculating?” Does an MRI have to be _that_ expensive [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-had-my-first-prostate-exam-today/285212.md?page=3)