# So..... I think I should sell myself on eBay... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883 "2000-12-04T01:14:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/1 "2000-12-04T01:14:40Z")
For a green card marriage!! It could work! I need a man around, to take out the garbage, shovel snow, screw me senseless, mow the lawn, and kill spiders. The boys could use a dad around for man type stuff, scratching, burping that sort of thing. I figure in exchange, I could marry them and they could come to Canada… So what do you all think? 😉 How much should I charge? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/2 "2000-12-04T01:21:05Z")
I was gonna bid on you until I noticed it was for a green card, I don’t think a fellow Canuck can help you out :(. As for the price, I think whatever they pay would be would be too low a price for you. Keith ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/3 "2000-12-04T01:21:49Z")
Smoooooooootch! ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/4 "2000-12-04T01:22:31Z")
_blush_ ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/5 "2000-12-04T01:49:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > need a man around, to take out the garbage, shovel snow, **screw me senseless** , mow the lawn, and kill spiders. Actually, I’m looking for a woman to screw me sensible. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/6 "2000-12-04T02:16:21Z")
Need a green card? ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/7 "2000-12-04T02:24:14Z")
\>\> I figure in exchange, I could marry them and they could come to Canada… 1- What you propose is illegal 2- Especially if you marry “them”. One would be an immigration crime, more than one would be bigamy. 3- Nobody is so desperate that they would want to willingly live in Canada, even for large sums of money. 4- Much less if, on top of that, they have to get married. That would be double punishment. But hey, don’t let me dissuade you! Good luck! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/8 "2000-12-04T02:38:37Z")
Somehow, I really think Odie’s replies are going to be more popular than Sailor’s… ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/9 "2000-12-04T04:03:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > \*\*For a green card marriage!! > > It could work! > > I need a man around, to take out the garbage, shovel snow, screw me senseless, mow the lawn, and kill spiders. > > The boys could use a dad around for man type stuff, scratching, burping that sort of thing. > > I figure in exchange, I could marry them and they could come to Canada… > > So what do you all think? 😉 > > How much should I charge? 😃 \*\* Dunno…there’s just to much information missing. I’ve seen Ebay, I know what questions to ask: Are you in mint condition? If not, what grade are you? Do you come with backing boards and mylar bags? Do you have your original packaging? More importantly, are you Mint In Box? Are all your limbs fully bendable and intact? Can you be posed? Are your joints articulated? What sort of turnaround time can I expect for shipping (of myself, if necessary)? Will I arrive bulk rate, book rate, or priority mail? Will U.P.S. deliver for an additonal fee? Do you accept payments with Pay-Pal? If not, do you accept personal checks, or will you only accept international money orders? Are there more than one of you? Could you have a Dutch Auction for yourself? If I buy you and pay promptly, will you leave positive feedback? See, judging from the comments I’ve seen on Ebay, _these_ are the sort of things one needs to know before deciding on a price! 😃 Fenris ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/10 "2000-12-04T04:05:35Z")
Euty: Sounds like an awful lot of screwing to me. Unfortunately, I’m already an American citizen… It’s always something! ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/11 "2000-12-04T13:37:26Z")
How much?? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/12 "2000-12-04T15:55:52Z")
“We’re sorry, but currently there are no items on eBay that match your search criteria.” ---
**Author:** ![SoMoMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@SoMoMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoMoMom)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/13 "2000-12-04T16:19:41Z")
Pictures are important too. Items with scans to look at always go for a higher price than similar items with no photo. Technically, eBay does not allow human body parts to be sold on their auction site. I don’t know if a whole human falls under that category. I’m thinking, maybe it does, though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JimmyNipples](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@JimmyNipples](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimmyNipples)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/14 "2000-12-04T16:39:01Z")
Ah Nerts…I’m married and Canadian Curse the stars!!! ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/15 "2000-12-04T16:52:22Z")
Hey Kelli! Let us know if it works! I’ve got a coupla family members I wouldn’t mind auctioning off… ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/16 "2000-12-04T17:33:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > \*\* > > screw me senseless \*\* You’re the reason I have no sense? I don’t even remember the night! \ A woman screwed me senseless, and I never even thanked her… \<\WC FIELDS\> ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/17 "2000-12-04T23:11:28Z")
I know the OP is meant as a joke and I always try to see the joke side rather than the critical side, but I have to wonder, how would people feel if a guy posted a similar idea: I am thinking that (since I can’t get laid for the life of me) I could marry a pretty Filipina (25 years younger, obviously) and she would clean the house and do the dishes and I could screw her whenever I liked. Then she could get a job and pay me some money for the favor I have done her. I think most people would not find this so humorous. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-think-i-should-sell-myself-on-ebay/43883/18 "2000-12-05T01:00:38Z")
Yeah, sailor those foreign women have servitude in them that american women don’t. I think the Russian women are by far the prettiest.