# ...So I want to become a contortionist...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-become-a-contortionist/91442>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [November 4, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-become-a-contortionist/91442 "2001-11-04T16:57:02Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\
**Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-become-a-contortionist/91442/1 "2001-11-04T16:57:02Z")

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Yes - I want to become a contortionist, or at least as close to one as my body structure will allow. I’m already capable of easily making myself a human arch (facing upwards and supported by all four limbs) without snapping my abdominal muscles, and can do a split of about two-thirds of the way to the floor. Anyone willing to point me to a site on how to further my flexibility? I’d like to be able to survive being snapped in half by the football players at my school, at the very least.

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**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\
**Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-become-a-contortionist/91442/2 "2001-11-04T17:00:53Z")

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Did you hear about the Philippine contortionist?

She was a Manila folder!

::D&R::

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**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\
**Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-become-a-contortionist/91442/3 "2001-11-04T17:27:53Z")

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Take up yoga. Do it alot - you’ll limber right up.

_Trust me._

Alice\_in\_Wonderland, AKA

[_ **Spangley\_the\_Flexible** _](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=96113&pagenumber=3)

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**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\
**Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-become-a-contortionist/91442/4 "2001-11-04T17:51:52Z")

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Did you hear about the out of work contortionist?

He couldn’t make ends meet!

::D&R::