# So I want to verbally offend some Brits **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539 "2006-06-05T22:00:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/21 "2006-06-06T00:05:08Z")
“i Strongly Disagree!!” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/22 "2006-06-06T00:06:45Z")
Call them Scottish. That will raise hackles wherever they are, for various reasons. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/23 "2006-06-06T00:41:47Z")
So I guess “Piss of, ya f\*\*\*in’ Limey!” might be considered a bit…half-hearted? ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/24 "2006-06-06T00:52:29Z")
“nice teeth” ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/25 "2006-06-06T00:56:38Z")
throw out some rhyming cockney. like call someone ‘sherman’ for wanker. expect to be called a ‘septic’ back. calling someone a ‘wally’ is pretty mild like dork. sheep shagger works on the more rural gamers bastard seems to be pretty universal ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Logan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Don\_Logan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Logan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/26 "2006-06-06T01:04:22Z")
You’re the fucking problem you fucking Dr White honkin’ jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble! Or anything else Ben Kingsley says in **Sexy Beast**. ---
**Author:** ![Imasquare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Imasquare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imasquare)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/27 "2006-06-06T01:19:20Z")
Toe-rag ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/28 "2006-06-06T01:20:45Z")
Calling a dispatched fool your bitch works regardless of the dialect. On the other hand, if you want to be _nice_\* to people, you might call them “safe” (as in, “He’s safe, he is” = he’s an alright guy). \*Yes, I know, nice! On the Internet! In an online game! Ha! But it _might_ come up. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/29 "2006-06-06T02:08:00Z")
Call each of 'em a big girl’s blouse (wimp). Unless they are in fact girls, in which case call each of 'em a daft bint (idiot). Or just call 'em a lot of spotty-faced gits. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/30 "2006-06-06T08:24:34Z")
[Here](http://www.effingpot.com/slang.shtml) is a site that will help Americans decipher British English…and they even mention the word “bespoke” which I only heard for the first time recently. But quite a few other words and phrases are listed that should have you insulting them damn furners like a pro in no time…of course, there is always the danger you might besmirch America’s reputation as a warm and fuzzy nation, but hey - as they currently say in Washington DC, fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/31 "2006-06-06T08:58:55Z")
Not sure that these are all strictly Britishisms, but try some of these: “Don’t throw the toys out of the cot” (don’t get upset) “No need to spit the dummy” [dummy = pacifier] (ditto) “Who rattled your cage?” (when someone comes in to a conversation who perhaps doesn’t usually speak up much) “No Old Baileys” (even a lot of Brits won’t get this, but I learned it from South Londoners when I was doing missionary work there - just kidding) (means “Don’t moan about the result/your bad luck, etc” (the Old Bailey is the building that houses some famous court rooms) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/32 "2006-06-06T08:59:05Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > James Blunt (pop star with unfortunate rhyming surname) God, how this dates me - to me, it will always be **Miles Hunt** for tyhe rhyme. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/33 "2006-06-06T09:02:58Z")
> [@China Guy](#): > > throw out some rhyming cockney. like call someone ‘sherman’ for wanker. expect to be called a ‘septic’ back. I thought it was “merchant banker” – or perhaps merchant bankers are in fact all wankers. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/34 "2006-06-06T09:21:48Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > I thought it was “merchant banker” – or perhaps merchant bankers are in fact all wankers. I think merchant banker is the default option. The trouble with rhyming slang is twofold: first, authentically, you should only give the first, non-rhyming part (as in “china” [full form “china plate”] = mate), otherwise it’s like having a 4-digit code but telling everyone the first 3 digits; second, there are quite a few variations, so that some people just won’t get it. For example, in the days before I joined the dope, when I was less PC than I am now, I used to say “iron” [“iron hoof”] for “poof”. Those among whom I worked as a missionary in South London understood it - they would, they taught me - but others might not get it at all, preferring their own rhyme, or indeed eschewing entirely all rhymes in this lexical field as a matter of principle. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/35 "2006-06-06T10:05:46Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > Those among whom I worked as a missionary in South London understood it. See, this is just offensive, and with the ethnic make-up of much of South London comes across as pretty racist. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/36 "2006-06-06T10:11:59Z")
Smeghead! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/37 "2006-06-06T10:17:19Z")
You might like to try ‘knobstick’ and ‘shagsack’. Neither of them have particularly literal meanings, but they generally work. However, I think generally speaking, using unfamiliar slang (or from a foreign culture) usually ends in embarrassing failure for the speaker. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/38 "2006-06-06T10:19:08Z")
Anything involving the implication that someone lives in a Caravan is pretty insulting, although it does have some slightly unpleasant racist undertones (against Gypsies, also known as Pikies), so it’s probably one to best avoid… ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/39 "2006-06-06T10:32:29Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > _Norfolk cousin fucker_ clocks up 10,100. (And Popbitch? You need to spend less time online 😛 ) Heh. Y’know, **GM** , I once climbed over the wall at Portman Road. But a policeman saw me… and made me go back in and watch the rest of the match. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/40 "2006-06-06T10:32:49Z")
Go back to your council flat ya chav! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539.md?page=3)