# So I want to verbally offend some Brits **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 5, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539 "2006-06-05T22:00:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BadBadger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BadBadger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBadger)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/41 "2006-06-06T10:48:35Z")
Personal favourite of mine that is unlikely to give too much offence is [numpty](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=numpty). Best used when someone makes a gaff: “Oh you numpty.” In rising levels of insult: Dick Dickhead Cock Prick Oh, and in similar use to numpty and at least as good is “fuckwit” ---
**Author:** ![Firebringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@Firebringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Firebringer)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/42 "2006-06-06T11:11:20Z")
Good way to wind up Scots, Welsh, Irish is to refer to them as being English. Refer to the UK as being England. Then refuse to be corrected on it. Referring to America bailing out Britian in WWII is likely to start WWIII Praising Margaret Thatcher also winds up some left winger. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/43 "2006-06-06T11:25:39Z")
Er, while the multicultural value of this thread is nice, I think it belongs in IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/44 "2006-06-06T13:09:56Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > How does “slag off” sound? ‘Slag off’ describes the action of insulting someone - it doesn’t sound right to tell someone to ‘slag off’ in the same way as asking them to ‘fuck off’ does. Calling someone a Slag is correct though - despite properly referring to a promiscuous female it can be used universally. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Logan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@Don\_Logan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Logan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/45 "2006-06-06T13:13:44Z")
By the way, can anyone from the UK explain this quote from **Sexy Beast**? Jam-rag I understand, but the rest? Is Dr. White a brand name of tampons? I would probably think it is even funnier if I knew what the hell it meant! “You’re the fucking problem you fucking Dr White honkin’ jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble!” ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/46 "2006-06-06T13:20:05Z")
Bold letters. . . **1776! 1776!** ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/47 "2006-06-06T13:21:47Z")
For some in-context modern English obscenity, you can read _[I, Lucifer](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802140149/103-4085142-0303059?v=glance&n=283155)_, by **Glen Duncan**. It’s one of the best novels I’ve read in recent years and apropros to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/48 "2006-06-06T14:28:07Z")
> [@Szlater](#): > > See, this is just offensive, and with the ethnic make-up of much of South London comes across as pretty racist. I don’t get it. Is it racist to say you’re a missionary in the west? Why? My cousin is a missionary in Newark, NJ, and my aunt’s first missionary work was in Mobile County, Alabama. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/49 "2006-06-06T14:52:06Z")
Dammit! My post was eaten. I would practice damning with faint praise–something the Brits excell at. Or you could take refuge in obscure American slang–go back to the ‘20’s and start there. Or you could watch AbFab as a tutorial or BBCAmerica (I dont’ get that channel, but it would give you an intro into the fine art of British insults). I will say this: the direct attack is never best, especially in a written medium. Go for rapier thrusts, rather than hack jobs. Good luck. Don’t expect victory, but a recognition of a worthy opponent would be praise indeed. (I’m American, btw). ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/50 "2006-06-06T15:12:07Z")
If any of them have anything to do with numbers or accounting then = “turf accountant” (= “bookie”) ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/51 "2006-06-06T15:16:17Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > I don’t get it. Is it racist to say you’re a missionary in the west? Why? My cousin is a missionary in Newark, NJ, and my aunt’s first missionary work was in Mobile County, Alabama. If he was actually a missionary it’s not (and I owe him an apology)… but a lot of people, especially from North London, look down upon South Londoners and I’ve heard similar comments from such people regarding their trips south of The River. The major Black African and Black Carribean communities in London are in the South and make up a significant portion of the population, and that’s why it came across as racist. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/52 "2006-06-06T15:17:18Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > For some in-context modern English obscenity, you can read _[I, Lucifer](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802140149/103-4085142-0303059?v=glance&n=283155)_, by **Glen Duncan**. It’s one of the best novels I’ve read in recent years and apropros to the OP. :eek: Someone else has read that book??? _faints_ I love that book. I’d agree with the WWII comment…and throw in WWI, 1812 (leaving out the part where they burned down the White House, we won is the point) , 1776…and asked them how the Empire thing is going these days. Definatly wind them up, although if they’re anything like my SO they’ll just bring up George W. Bush… ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/53 "2006-06-06T15:35:21Z")
I think references to 1776, and certainly 1812, will be met with shrugs and/or bafflement. Britain has been in a lot of wars over the centuries, some of which it lost. Nothing particularly special (to Brits) about those ones. Indeed, before I started reading these boards I was not aware that there had been any kind of US-UK altercation in 1812. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/54 "2006-06-06T15:44:12Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > 1812 (leaving out the part where they burned down the White House, we won is the point) Remember _Status Quo Antebellum_? It was at best a draw, although it was a draw in which our caiptal city was burned and theirs was not harmed by us or the other enemy with whom Great Britain was engaged in a continental-scale war at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Clanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@Small\_Clanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Clanger)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/55 "2006-06-06T15:55:28Z")
49 posts and no one’s mentioned _tosser_ – alternative to wanker. And though it doesn’t work all that well in print (needs some spin in the delivery) there’s always Shut it! You slag! In reply to any unwelcome utterances. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/56 "2006-06-06T16:53:14Z")
“Oh yeah? Well, the _jerk store_ called, and they’re all out of _you!_” If that doesn’t work, just tell him you slept with his wife. ---
**Author:** ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/57 "2006-06-06T17:03:24Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > 1812 (leaving out the part where they burned down the White House, we won is the point) And whether or not you leave out the part about the only major American victory being three weeks after the war was over, a draw is the best that America can hope to claim. And despite studying History 1789 - 1914 in school, I had never heard of the War of 1812 until I moved to the US. I am currently reading a book called, imaginatively, [1812](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060531134/sr=8-6/qid=1149613182/ref=pd_bbs_6/102-4719065-7653731?%5Fencoding=UTF8). I do not know yet who the author will view as having “won”. I do recall that well-known historian (?) Stephen J. Gould describing the War of 1812 as a British victory with a generous peace treaty that allowed the US to maintain its pride. ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/58 "2006-06-06T17:06:50Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > “Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they’re all out of you!” Except in British it would be something like “the wanker shop rang and they’ve run out of you.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/59 "2006-06-06T17:22:03Z")
> [@Usram](#): > > I think references to 1776, and certainly 1812, will be met with shrugs and/or bafflement. Britain has been in a lot of wars over the centuries, some of which it lost. Nothing particularly special (to Brits) about those ones. Indeed, before I started reading these boards I was not aware that there had been any kind of US-UK altercation in 1812. Most Americans don’t know about it either. All the better. If it’s just meant to be an insult (then sing the Star Spangled Banner) And I know it was a draw but you don’t bring up that point when you’re going for “neener neener neener”. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539/60 "2006-06-06T17:43:42Z")
> [@Happy Clam](#): > > Smeghead! Yes? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-want-to-verbally-offend-some-brits/359539.md?page=4)