# So I was eating my wife's pussy... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 14, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930 "2001-01-14T00:41:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/21 "2001-01-14T18:50:49Z")
Another rule\* **6. If you are engaged in a 69, and you begin to orgasm, _take the penis out of your mouth!!_** \*This rule really only applies if you are the type to have involuntary spasms during orgasm. With two of my exes, who were this type, I had occasion to fear a Garp-type event. Sua ---
**Author:** ![Brunetter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/839c29/32.png) [@Brunetter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brunetter)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/22 "2001-01-14T19:45:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tansu \* > \*\*Not that there’s anything wrong with going straight for the clit and setting up camp there. \*\* Let me confirm (I don’t think this can be said too often): There is nothing wrong with going straight for the clit and setting up camp there. Nothing. Nothing at all. NOT ONE THING. In fact, the last guy I slept with, who was -ahem- rather inexperienced, and wanted me to show him just what to do, I think I actually said to him at one point “Let me introduce you to my friend, the clitoris. You two should get to know one another.” (Cheesy, yes, but it worked well at the time.) ---
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/23 "2001-01-14T20:24:02Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Brunetter \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Let me confirm (I don’t think this can be said too often): There is nothing wrong with going straight for the clit and setting up camp there. Nothing. Nothing at all. NOT ONE THING.\*\* Whoa! Depends on the woman. My personal mantra is more along the lines of, “hey, there’s a lot of cool stuff down there–let’s do a little exploring before settling down to the clit.” Too much clitoral stimulation is downright painful for some women, or stimulation too soon can lead to wild giggling if they’re ticklish. IME, it’s best to ask with a new female partner and find out what’s working for her. My sexual pet peeve is people (even women can do this for other women) who assume that they know my body better than I do. I have actually been _told_ “You’re wrong–that should feel good.” Excuse me? Whose body is this, anyway? If I don’t think it feels good, IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD. Giving blowjobs, OTOH, seems to be pretty much the same from guy to guy, leaving aside some details like what to do with testicles and prostate glands. Firm grip? Check. Use of tongue? Check. Attention to all parts of the penis? Check. Get all that and a good rhythm–and like doing it–and with most guys you’re home free. At least none have ever complained and I’ve never had a guy ask for only one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/24 "2001-01-14T22:38:54Z")
Thanks, **aha**! I can’t tell you ladies how much more creative a guy will get when he has a sweet-smelling snatch to work with. (Of course, this is assuming you’ve got a guy who knows what he’s doing 😉 ) I’ll lick and sort of suck you if you’re slightly “musky”. But if you’re springtime fresh? Oh, lawdy, grab a hold of something, because I will go to town with my mouth and tongue. mm-mm-MMMM, that’s some tasty eatin’. As for the “setting up camp”…I’ve never been with a woman who didn’t also like a little expedition on her camping trips. Be creative! I think that a combo of licking, sucking, and kissing everything in the area, from belly button on down the thighs, works well. But as **Eft** says, never assume you know what she likes! Be a nice service provider and **ask** , or at least **pay attention** to her hints. She’ll definitely show some sign of approval or disapproval with what you’re doing, and will appreciate your thoughtfulness. I’ve never even tried licking the alphabet. I think it’s lame. Most girls I’ve gone down on liked a steady rhythm, with the occasional tempo change. Mix in a finger or two, maybe one up the ass as well…grrrrowwwlll! Finish up on the clit with some combination sucking and tongue flicking, and hopefully she’s ready to explode. Just make sure you know when to stop. Good nasal breathing technique is key. That rush of cool inhaled air through your mouth is uncomfortable for some women. Oh, and be careful with your teeth, too. And ladies? We’ll always appreciate a little recognition for a job well done. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/25 "2001-01-14T22:45:11Z")
Damn, I wish the “post subject” shows up in preview. By “rookie pussy eaters”, I’m referring to any of our younger Dopers out there who could use some tips. Yeesh. I certainly wouldn’t want to piss off any of guys that know what they’re doing! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/26 "2001-01-14T23:30:17Z")
> [@](#): > > Be a nice service provider and ask, or at least pay attention to her hints. She’ll definitely show some sign of approval or disapproval with what you’re doing, and will appreciate your thoughtfulness. I was going to post this myself, but you beat me to it, Dire Wolf! Guys, don’t take offense if a woman gives you a hint or two as to what to do. We all like it a bit differently, and just because this one thing you did to someone worked for her doesn’t mean it’s going to work for me. It might, and it might be really cool, and we might like it. But if we don’t, don’t take that as a slam on your manliness. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/27 "2001-01-14T23:51:56Z")
This confirms my ugly sneaking suspicion that everyone and their mother and their dog are getting more play than I. ☹ I’ve gotta stop reading these threads! The only thing I would add is that the enthusiasm thing works both ways…at least try to convince us that you wouldn’t rather be reading the sports pages. I’d rather just pass than have a half-assed effort. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/28 "2001-01-15T02:10:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lizard \* > **Hey soccerhooligan, I tried that once. It actually works! But you have to do the whole alphabet about a dozen times. The idea is that you don’t want to focus too much on any one area until she’s just about ready to come and asks you to. Doing the alphabet keeps you moving around the area.** As a woman, let me politely disagree. I like specific movements in specific places. Basically I think this technique would only work for me if there was only one letter in the alphabet. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/29 "2001-01-15T02:13:04Z")
Aw, don’t worry, Miss Nacho. If I didn’t have an overactive imagination, I’d have become a monk by now. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/30 "2001-01-15T02:18:18Z")
It definitely varies from woman to woman. For me, please don’t waste my time with my bellybutton or thighs. Please don’t wate time on my labia. Don’t bother sticking your tongue inside me. None of those things do anything for me. there are exactly two things down there that are sensitive enough to turn me on… anus and clit. Actually, by clit I mean the area just beside the clit, (in my case, just to the left), but still under the hood… not the actual clit itself. What I want to know is, how do guys stand it, going down on a woman who doesn’t shave off her pubes? Gack! ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/31 "2001-01-15T02:47:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*The only thing I would add is that the enthusiasm thing works both ways…at least try to convince us that you wouldn’t rather be reading the sports pages. I’d rather just pass than have a half-assed effort. \*\* I’m sorry, the SPORTS pages? I mean, I can understand some guys not liking to do it, but, the SPORTS PAGES? There are guys out there that think like that? But it’s such a beautiful area… And shaved is goood. I like shaved. But not shaved dosn’t bother me in the least. To me it’s something like I can either have a glass of water or one of iced tea. I’ll take the water in a second and enjoy it, but iced tea is just preferable. And I think I’m the only one around, anywhere, who thinks it tastes good. I mean hygiene is a prerequisite, of course, but I like the smell and the taste and the feeling on my tongue and fac… Okay, no more before I get myself all worked up. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/32 "2001-01-15T03:15:21Z")
Not all of us who are young are rookies. Or, for that matter, amateurs. ---
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/33 "2001-01-15T03:54:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > \*\*And I think I’m the only one around, anywhere, who thinks it tastes good. I mean hygiene is a prerequisite, of course, but I like the smell and the taste and the feeling on my tongue and fac… \*\* Not the only one. 🙂 Shaved isn’t a requirement (or even necessarily all that desirable IMO), but _trimmed_ is helpful on women with thick pubic hair. Otherwise, it can be hard to get to where you’re going. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/34 "2001-01-15T04:03:59Z")
> [@](#): > > Aw, don’t worry, Miss Nacho. If I didn’t have an overactive imagination, I’d have become a monk by now. Fuck, even my imagination got tired of waiting around and told me to go to hell. If I didn’t have Energizer batteries, I’d have become a nun by now. I’m actually thinking of becoming a nun for the sole purpose of having a good reason for explaining my current total and utter lack of sexual experiances. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/35 "2001-01-15T04:09:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Shaved isn’t a requirement (or even necessarily all that desirable IMO), but trimmed is helpful on women with thick pubic hair. I forgot to comment that any man who requires it bare down there can kiss my ass. Do you know what kind of effort goes into that? Do you know how painful it is when it grows back? Do you know the excruciating pain that occurs when you mix Nair with the most sensitive part of your body? Do you know what waxing feels like? Ah, never ever **ever** again. I’m all for kinky and different and neat, but I have yet to meet a man worth that sort of effort. It’s hard enough to keep my goddamn legs shaved. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/36 "2001-01-15T04:20:28Z")
Since you quoted me, I thought I’d ask: you know I’m not a man, right? (Earlier in this thread, I noted that I had a clitoris that I prefer people not immediately leap to.) And shaved != trimmed. Trimmed means scissors or a beard trimmer if the hair is really thick, since that really can make it hard to get to anything but hair. Shaved means razors and bare skin, and I personally don’t do that more than the once every few years when I forget what a royal pain in the ass it is to maintain. I’d never require it on someone and I’m not sure what I’d think of it if I came across it. I’ve never gone down on a woman who was shaved bare. And Gack! You’ve used Nair on yourself? Oh, you poor thing. Ouch. ---
**Author:** ![snac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@snac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snac)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/37 "2001-01-15T04:59:31Z")
:::theme music swelling in the background::: \ Today’s episode of cunnilingus has been brought to you by the letters T and A and the number 69… And by everybody’s favorite animal, the pussy.\ :::fadeout, to be replaced by pledge drives::: ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/38 "2001-01-15T05:37:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > **But it’s such a beautiful area…** Well, I wouldn’t go that far. In the context of a beautiful woman’s entire body it can be very nice but the vagina alone is an ugly little hairy flap. I never understood why so many skin mags insist of having women show us their inner workings, if you will. I’d rather the models turn their eyelids inside out than do that that little two-finger spread pose. Not that the penis isn’t a weird looking thing… ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/39 "2001-01-15T06:54:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by snac \* > \*\*:::theme music swelling in the background::: > > \ Today’s episode of cunnilingus has been brought to you by the letters T and A and the number 69… > > And by everybody’s favorite animal, the pussy.\ > > :::fadeout, to be replaced by pledge drives::: \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Combined with your name, that’s priceless! ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/40 "2001-01-15T08:04:04Z")
I thought I was good at giving oral to women, had plenty of compliments and one girl who showed signs of addiction to me, but then I watched some lesbian porn - NOT the kind which is designed for men, real honest-to-god lesbians in a video borrowed from a bisexual friend. I adjusted my techniques one night to match what I saw in the video, and WOW…of course, after that my wife wanted it all the time, I had to start coming up with excuses like cold sores, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930.md?page=3)