# So I was eating my wife's pussy... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 14, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930 "2001-01-14T00:41:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/41 "2001-01-15T09:39:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m sorry, the SPORTS pages? I mean, I can understand some guys not liking to do it, but, the SPORTS PAGES? There are guys out there that think like that? Well, if it’ll make you feel better, I, for one, never ever ever ever ever think about the sports pages. However, I DO think about the computer advertisements that are often on the back of the sports pages… mmmmm… 256 megs of RAM, $99… > [@](#): > > I forgot to comment that any man who requires it bare down there can kiss my ass. Do you know what kind of effort goes into that? [raises hand] I do, I do! My best friend (who is female, and with whom I’ve never had sex with) has explained, in detail, exactly what is needed to save the inner lips and such. And I’ve seen her handiwork… she’s quite bald. No stubble at all. She’s been shaving herself for years. And, just 'tween you and me (and everyone else who reads this), it ain’t exactly a walk in the park to shave testicles, either. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/42 "2001-01-15T12:49:31Z")
> [@](#): > > (snip) > I watched some lesbian porn - NOT the kind which is designed for men, real honest-to-god lesbians in a video borrowed from a bisexual friend. I adjusted my techniques one night to match what I saw in the video, and WOW…(snip) What’s the name of this video? I figure I am not too old to learn------ ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/43 "2001-01-15T12:52:52Z")
If I remember, I’ll find out and post it tonight, or earlier if I come to the SDMB. I still have it. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/44 "2001-01-15T16:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\* What I want to know is, how do guys stand it, going down on a woman who doesn’t shave off her pubes? Gack! \*\* Keeps our cheeks warm whilst we work 😃 😃 😃 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/45 "2001-01-15T16:24:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Mnementh \* > > **But it’s such a beautiful area…** > > Well, I wouldn’t go that far. In the context of a beautiful woman’s entire body it can be very nice but the vagina alone is an ugly little hairy flap. > > I never understood why so many skin mags insist of having women show us their inner workings, if you will. I’d rather the models turn their eyelids inside out than do that that little two-finger spread pose. > Not that the penis isn’t a weird looking thing… \*\* True- and yet, it’s arousing to gaze upon, sometimes. At the other end of the visual stimulii spectrum, I’ve never seen a photograph of light gently cast upon a breast that wasn’t stunning to behold. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/46 "2001-01-15T18:19:27Z")
Re: **Dire Wolf** - For all you rookie pussy-eaters… I swear we must be long-lost brothers, **Wolvie**. There is nothing quite like the scent of a woman or the taste of her excitement. Good post for rookies _and_ pro’s. Remember, though, if you’re interested in pleasing your partner, do what _they_ like, not always what _you_ like. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/47 "2001-01-15T19:29:12Z")
Yes I _know_ that shaving and extracurricular grooming is a pain in the … well… you know, but good God it’s worth it. I actually start getting a little excited before I even finish because I know I’m going to get something amazing for my efforts. My husband loves eating me evenmore than usual when I’m freshly smooth and (nearly )hairless. I have found that for me it’s better not to try to get the area just above the lips totally smooth cause the hairs all grow in different directions and it’s nearly impossible. I leave a little strip of hair, trimmed, and it’s soft and really quite pretty if I do say so myself. Oh and I’ve found if you use a little mouthwash as a sort of after-shave it’s even better. Stay away from the listerine though, ughh. All women are different I suppose. I loved the alphabet technique, and I love having the lips sucked and Hell I love any attention there. Lips, tongues, toys props …it’s all good. Oh and yes, I will definately give him a very enthusastic kiss afterwards. It’s only fair. mmmmm minty fresh. ---
**Author:** ![Triskadecamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2001, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/48 "2001-01-15T22:36:48Z")
This could be an exercise in emotional exchange, too, you know. Mechanical technique is only an aspect. Me, well, I’ve been celibate for a fairly long time, but I do have memories of good experiences. Take your time. Enjoy yourself, and experience every part of your lover’s body. Get involved. Oh, and right after that very intense special moment, try this: Open your mouth very wide, and gently cover her mons with your teeth. Gently, ever so gently, press down with your teeth. Growl. Then nuzzle her with your whole face. Yeah. Good memories. But don’t think of it as a chore. Who wants a sexual favor, when you can have a sexual adventure? Tris ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/49 "2001-01-16T00:35:30Z")
You know, **Badtz** , if you were to sell a copy on eBay, you’d probably have a few takers… ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/50 "2001-01-16T02:52:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Since you quoted me, I thought I’d ask: you know I’m not a man, right? (Earlier in this thread, I noted that I had a clitoris that I prefer people not immediately leap to.) And shaved != trimmed. I’m sorry, Eft, I just used your quote as a context, nothing rage-filled aimed at you. I actually agreed with what you said; I trim mine every week or so to keep it neat. And am I the only weirdo who used shampoo and conditioner when I know I’m gonna get some action? Probably. > [@](#): > > My husband loves eating me evenmore than usual when I’m freshly smooth and (nearly )hairless. I have found that for me it’s better not to try to get the area just above the lips totally smooth cause the hairs all grow in different directions and it’s nearly impossible. All of mine grows in opposite directions. My college boyfriend was terribly into the shaved thing, and I made _such_ an effort. I was so happy to please him. I shaved, and since it grows in opposite directions, it hurt so much growing back in, and it was impossible to get it completely smooth anyway. I tried Nair, and I cried for five days. That stuff burns! I even paid $45 for a waxing, and aside from the fact it’s about as enjoyable as a gyno visit, it hurts like a motherfucker (I tried to block it out, but still cringe when I think about it). I finally told the guy that it was neat or no nookie - I just couldn’t take the pain! I’m all for doing whatever turns the guy on. If he asks nicely, I’ll make an effort. But that’s where I draw the line! ---
**Author:** ![slackergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@slackergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slackergirl)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/51 "2001-01-16T06:29:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*\*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > And am I the only weirdo who used shampoo and conditioner when I know I’m gonna get some action? Probably. > \*\* Nope. You’re not the only one. Not sure if it actually helps, but I figure it can’t hurt, and my shampoo smells better than my soap anyway. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/52 "2001-01-16T06:54:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Triskadecamus \* > **Oh, and right after that very intense special moment, try this: Open your mouth very wide, and gently cover her mons with your teeth. Gently, ever so gently, press down with your teeth. Growl. Then nuzzle her with your whole face.** Or don’t. I had a guy growl once in bed. After I got done rolling my eyes at the utter lameness and contrived nature of it, I managed to still enjoy myself, but it was really quite irritating. I don’t think I’d like the whole mouth over the area thing either… it’s all individual. I’m picky about those things and that stuff doesn’t sound at all appealing. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/53 "2001-01-16T07:29:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*Not all of us who are young are rookies. Or, for that matter, amateurs. \*\* Personally, I’d like to keep my amateur status to retain Olympic eligibility. You never know; someday cunnilingus might make it in. It could be as big as synchronized swimming. Besides, this is one area where the term “professional” has decidedly negative connotations. ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/54 "2001-01-16T07:52:53Z")
Please oh please DON’T FART! My ex did that to me once. I felt very awkward after that… ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/55 "2001-01-16T19:45:51Z")
The key here, I think, is to keep in mind that, sadly, there is no one-size-fits-all method. What some women love, others like, others merely tolerate, and still others don’t enjoy. Any of the tricks and techniques mentioned above are worth trying… but you have to combine trying with _sensing_ how your lady is reacting. Mechanically trying the alphabet business is no good if it’s not producing a reaction. Listen and feel her slight motions, her shifts in breathing, the way she makes little noises under her breath… _those_ are the clues to what’s working and what isn’t, and it avoids putting her in ‘traffic cop’ mode: “Over to the right… right there… faster… faster…” - Rick ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2001, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/56 "2001-01-16T19:55:43Z")
Also known as the optometrist method. Better like this… or better like this? Better like this… or better like this? ---
**Author:** ![Gambit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gambit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gambit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/57 "2001-01-21T09:06:25Z")
I’ve been thinking of this for some time, and since this thread now exists, I have a question. I LOVE eating pussy. Though I have been told that I’m good (I learned LouisB’s secret years ago, and it works) I’d like to know–how much time should I spend on the clit? I usually vary my technique and get the entire vagina involved, but if there’s anything else I should know, please tell me. One more question, and if it’s stupid chalk it up to me being a man. I like, for lack of a better way to say it, to tongue-fuck when I’m down there. Do you really get as much pleasure out of that as I think you do? I’ve always felt that the sensation of something that can be both firm and soft at the same time going inside of you would be a huge turn on. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/58 "2001-01-21T16:51:23Z")
Nothing wrong with canvassing some opinions, but what’s more important - what a thousand ladies on the internet like, or what your own sexual partner likes? Ask her. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/59 "2001-01-21T17:57:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tansu \* > \*\*Nothing wrong with canvassing some opinions, but what’s more important - what a thousand ladies on the internet like, or what your own sexual partner likes? > > Ask her. \*\* I agree with that. And if you find out what she does like, practice, practice, practice. And if she not around to practice, don’t go and practice on somebody else. Definite no-no. And if your S.O. has eight legs, just go where they all meet, and you’ll do just fine.:D:D ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930/60 "2001-01-22T17:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\*Also known as the optometrist method. > > Better like this… or better like this? > Better like this… or better like this? \*\* Hey! I _like_ that! I’m beginning to think threads like this are a little silly though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-eating-my-wifes-pussy/49930.md?page=4)