# So, I was fucking my boyfriend the other day... (sex in non-sex related topics) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 3, 2009, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204 "2009-02-03T02:35:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/21 "2009-02-03T04:32:47Z")
> [@seodoa](#): > > I think oatmeal would be better. It’s warm, soft, and seems to demand that I stick my penis into it. Thank god I’m not the only one. Let’s start a facebook group. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/22 "2009-02-03T04:36:37Z")
The OP is right. The sexual confessions were a total _non-sequitur_ in that thread. Why bring it up in a question about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/23 "2009-02-03T05:00:00Z")
The OP is right, and brings an appropriate level of outrage to the topic. It’s not the end of the world and doesn’t merit insane levels of anger, and (s)he doesn’t give them. Check-plus. Good pitting. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/24 "2009-02-03T05:00:52Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The OP is right. The sexual confessions were a total _non-sequitur_ in that thread. Why bring it up in a question about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? I was thinking about this while I was stirring my oatmeal with my manhood. There’s really no explaining it; people are just weird sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/25 "2009-02-03T05:06:25Z")
> [@](#): > > originally posted by **seodoa** : > I own a 70s Christian child-rearing guide that actually suggests thinking about Jesus or a favorite bible verse while masturbating. No joke. In between bouts of wild sex, I read this thread, and I had two questions about that statement: 1. This is a child-rearing guide, so how does any advice about what to think of during masturbation enter into it? Are you supposed to _tell your kids_ to think about Jesus while they are masturbating? 2. What is the purpose of thinking about Jesus or a bible verse while masturbating? To make you lose desire? (Like, good Christians aren’t supposed to masturbate.) I think I’ll go have some wild sex now, but I’ll stop back later and see if my questions are answered. ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/26 "2009-02-03T05:11:58Z")
**CairoCarol** , I had to take a break from the thread to watch some hot oatmeal porn, but I’m also confused by that. Even worse than telling your kids to think about Jesus while masturbating is _telling your kids what to think about while masturbating_. And now I’ve got that creepy Type O Negative song [Christian Woman](http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/typeonegative/bloodykisses.html#2) stuck in my head. Damnit. ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/27 "2009-02-03T05:13:26Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > In between bouts of wild sex, I read this thread, and I had two questions about that statement: > > 1. This is a child-rearing guide, so how does any advice about what to think of during masturbation enter into it? Are you supposed to _tell your kids_ to think about Jesus while they are masturbating? > > 2. What is the purpose of thinking about Jesus or a bible verse while masturbating? To make you lose desire? (Like, good Christians aren’t supposed to masturbate.) > > I think I’ll go have some wild sex now, but I’ll stop back later and see if my questions are answered. The book’s stance is that masturbation is not exactly good but, with adolescent boys, pretty much unavoidable. Suggesting he think about the bible was meant to prevent the young boy’s mind from wandering into naughty thoughts territory. I never said it was a _good_ book on child-rearing. And, **Jeff** , we should get together sometime. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/28 "2009-02-03T05:22:24Z")
Thank you for the clarification. And I know what you’re thinking: my wild sex didn’t take me very long, did it? ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/29 "2009-02-03T05:29:41Z")
That’s okay, **CairoCarol** , it doesn’t always have to be a marathon. Sometimes just a handjob and a bowl of oatmeal is all that’s needed. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/30 "2009-02-03T05:40:37Z")
FWIW, _usually_ when I’m getting a blowjob and posting to the Dope, I don’t mention it in my post. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/31 "2009-02-03T05:47:35Z")
Really? I’ve mentioned it _every_ time. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/32 "2009-02-03T05:57:31Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > 1. What is the purpose of thinking about Jesus or a bible verse while masturbating? To make you lose desire? (Like, good Christians aren’t supposed to masturbate.) So when you get excited, you’ll have a real hard on to get to church! I’m gonna go flog the bishop now. PS - dopers posting during sex. That’s not a picture thread I think I want to see… ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/33 "2009-02-03T05:57:41Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Let’s see . . . “after sex snack” is in your vocabularly - - - \> you’re fat - - - \> you don’t get laid much - - - \> you need to brag about it to strangers on the internet when you do. Pretty simple. Dammit. This isn’t the first time I’ve been prepared to post a response, only to find that you pretty much went ahead and posted it for me. Except I wasn’t really thinking about the post-sex snack aspect of things (I’m thin, but I eat like a pig after sex), and was just going to say that she must be pretty fucking ugly to be a _woman bragging about having sex_ to the Internet. That’s like starting a thread to say that you successfully operated a motor vehicle today. Woman getting laid ain’t much of an achievement. ---
**Author:** ![stucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@stucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stucky)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/34 "2009-02-03T06:20:01Z")
I thought a “sandwich spread” was when I spread my legs when I’m the meat in a two girl sex sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/35 "2009-02-03T06:47:11Z")
I was screwing my girl friends, Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, yeah that’s right, in their asses, when all the sudden I got this idea for firm sponge bread buns with Tootsie Rolls and mayonaise, which is my favorite sandwich! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/36 "2009-02-03T06:57:37Z")
When I was accepting my Nobel prize for peace, my nose itched. But when I was accepting my Nobel prize for literature, it didn’t. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/37 "2009-02-03T07:01:45Z")
George: So, we were there doing the grape jelly. Jerry : The Grape jelly!?..No? Kramer: Oooo…you better watch out with that. You know what they say. George: No?..What do they say? Kramer: Yea, the grape jelly always leads to peanut butter Jerry : Peanut butter!? Kramer: Ahhh yyyesss…!" Elaine: No no no, grape jelly doesn’t “always” lead to peanut butter. I dont get to peanut butter until…well you know Jerry: No, I don’t know… George: Oh common, it was only grape jelly, there was No peanut butter involved Kramer: Well thats what she said…are you sure, maybe she did the ol’ peanut butter switcherooo when you werent looking George: Now that you mention it, I did turn away to open the window Kramer: See! thats when it happens, they tease you with the grape jelly and then they…ssssslllipp it in! when your not looking Jerry: So, you got the peanut butter…undercover George: Dammit Elaine: Wow! I never thought of doing that. ---
**Author:** ![stucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@stucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stucky)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/38 "2009-02-03T08:27:30Z")
Jamicat…You’re good. Didn’t you write for the Seinfeld show? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/39 "2009-02-03T08:34:11Z")
> [@Darryl\_Lict](#): > > I was screwing my girl friends, Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, yeah that’s right, in their asses, when all the sudden I got this idea for firm sponge bread buns with Tootsie Rolls and mayonaise, which is my favorite sandwich! Well I was screwing _my_ girlfriend Jessica Rabbit and I got the idea of some spotted dick between two barm cakes…or summink ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2009, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204/40 "2009-02-03T08:43:06Z")
> [@seodoa](#): > > "So, I was pinching off this AMAZING loaf when I wondered: Why haven’t they built a bridge to Zanzibar? Because we are too busy sticking our penises in oatmeal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-fucking-my-boyfriend-the-other-day-sex-in-non-sex-related-topics/484204.md?page=3)