# So I Was Not Having Any Form of Sex Whatsoever... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 15, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140 "2001-01-15T14:15:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![skarpallu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@skarpallu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skarpallu)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/21 "2001-01-17T06:09:33Z")
You people have no idea how its to be a sex-crazed shy social misfit, whos also a 25-year old male virgin. I spend atleast 3 hours a day watching porn on the internet; i jerk off atleast twice a day. Man, when am I going to meet THE girl, heck ANY girl??!!! man, life SUCKS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/22 "2001-01-17T11:46:23Z")
I should probably mention that I started this thread not as a paean to abstinence but as a tongue-in-cheek (pun definitely _not_ intended) comment on some of the other posts in the same forum ( **Sue Duhnyhm** ’s frighteningly candid list of do’s and don’t of fellatio in particular). I do, in fact, have sex, as my wife of 10-plus years could attest; I just have difficulty in imagining myself describing it in detail in a public forum. But that’s just me. **Welfy:** I did, in fact, wait until I’d met the woman I eventually married, not out of any particular views on waiting until marriage (we didn’t), but because I wanted it to be with “someone special”. And I have no regrets in that regard. I have a hard time getting a handle on the mindset that allows people to have sex with people they’ve just met, and whose names they may not even know. But then, as I’ve mentioned, I may just be overly inhibited. 🙂 **ChiefScott:** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/23 "2001-01-17T12:19:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*Alternatively, you could try a long distance relationship. You’ll be “_not having any form of sex whatsoever_” for periods up to one month, or sometimes even longer. The plus side to it all, is that the periods of “_not having any form of sex whatsoever_” are interrupted by weekends of “_having all forms of heterosexual sex known to man, **JungleFuck-a-Go-Go Style** _”. > > I’m sure that’s just what y’all wanted to hear. \*\* \ \ \ **ROFLMAO!** GodDAMN, Coldy, you are now my hero! Boy, do I miss you in chat. Guess I now know why you’ve been MIA lately. ::walks off still snorting:: ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/24 "2001-01-17T20:01:22Z")
Well, I’m also 17…virgin by choice, but I’m not old enough for it to be embarassing anyway. 😃 Not that the rest of you should be embarassed… and I’m gonna have to second relic on my horribly unexplainable curiosity about the “so I was hip deep in this chick” comment… ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/25 "2001-01-18T22:29:22Z")
I’m a virgin by choice, too. Ray would boink me in a second if I’d only mention it. But, well, I’m a bitch, what can I say? 😉 Actually, he doesn’t because he knows that sometimes I’m not in the right mind and I’ll do things without thinking (my manic phases get me in trouble sometimes). **Milo** : 😛 No, it’s not a shame. Ray is one of the nicest people to have come into my life…and he’s good with his hands. :o **jr8** : Good for you! 🙂 That’s really cool. **ChiefScott** : Whoah! :eek: That must have been a pretty big girl! **Coldfire** , you crack me up. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/26 "2001-01-18T22:42:20Z")
Well, next time the instructions say “Sacrifice a virgin” I’ll know who to look for. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/27 "2001-01-18T23:17:54Z")
Well, I think I have Guin and Welfy beat for years of being a “virgin by choice” (or, as my friends have dubbed me, “the Last American Virgin” as I’ve mentioned before). So I, too, am an expert on how not to have sex. dogsbody’s method of not having sex: Get up at 5:30 a.m., groggy, with “wild Irish woman” hair. Frighten Roommate’s Boyfriend on way to shower. Shower. Nearly drown while yawning. Play with pet rat. Try not to fall asleep in cereal. Go to work. Play on Internet. Go to School. Waste time at the SDMB. Go to Choir practice. Go Home, try not to fall asleep in dinner. Do Homework. Play with rat while wasting time on Internet. TUESDAY NIGHTS ONLY: Watch Buffy & Angel. Do more Homework. Go to bed at 2 a.m. Repeat repeatedly until semester is over. Die for three months (except while at work). Begin again. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/28 "2001-01-19T01:41:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Wanna not have sex? > > Have kids. Amen, brother! Another way not to have sex is to marry someone with a completely different schedule than you. One of the prerequisites for having actual sex with another person is that both of you must be in the same room, even if only for a few minutes. But you must be careful when you _do_ manage to get together. I work days, my husband works nights. We went through a spell a while back where we didn’t have sex for about 5 months. We finally managed to get some “quality time” together. Two months later (with no sex), I discovered that I was pregnant with our son. When I told my husband, he looked _shocked,_ then exclaimed “How did _that_ happen?!?!” Although I knew he really meant “when,” I had to laugh. He’d already had two kids by then. He knew “how.” ---
**Author:** ![skarpallu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@skarpallu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skarpallu)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/29 "2001-01-19T02:22:50Z")
I have been doing for 25 years now… my present day schedue goes like this… NOT a virgin by choice… get up at 10:00am (boss is cool; walks in at noon himself) watch porn on comp; jerk off get to work at noon; never look at anyone in the eye lest they actually talk to you work for couple of hours; walk to lunch; never look at anyone in the eye lest they actually talk to you get back to work; never look at anyone in the eye lest they actually talk to you work for 3-4 more hours; its 6-7 right now; do things like grocery, laundry, cooking etc. go home; watch porn on comp; jerk off; watch tv; cook and eat; work from home for a couple of hours; watch porn on comp; jerk off; get depressed and go to sleep at around 3 am. this has been happening for over two years now; I fear I might go postal one day… man, I dont need sex, I need a partner, a girlfriend, _someone_ who can make my life less lonely… ---
**Author:** ![Gambit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gambit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gambit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/30 "2001-01-21T08:44:45Z")
I wouldn’t know where to begin responding to this thread if I tried. LOL What about reformed virgins? I lost mine at fifteen, kept right on humping until I was eighteen or so, and then just stopped (by choice) for five years. Does that count? skarpallu: I know JUST what you feel like. It especially sucks when you know you’ve already met the right one but can’t have them. ---
**Author:** ![rq120](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@rq120](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rq120)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/31 "2001-02-22T06:24:21Z")
First of all, dogsbody I don’t even want to know what “pet rat” you play with. I am just hoping it is an actual pet and not something else. Secondly, skarpallu, you ARE a virgin by choice. Just look at your daily life. If you actually went out and met people maybe you wouldn’t have to jerk off and you could get some real action. You have to talk to people if you want to go further, that is unless you pay them! ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/32 "2001-02-22T06:38:27Z")
‘So I was hip-deep in this chick…’ You are the devil. ‘…Jungle fuck a go go…’ you are his minion I am not breathing too well… ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/33 "2001-02-22T08:43:14Z")
Would someone be kind enough to explain: Why is this very entertaining\_friendly\_supportive thread in the Pit??? ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2001, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/34 "2001-02-22T15:30:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **skarpallu** \* > You people have no idea how its to be a sex-crazed shy social misfit, whos also a 25-year old male virgin. > I spend atleast 3 hours a day watching porn on the internet; i jerk off atleast twice a day. Man, when am I going to meet THE girl, heck ANY girl??!!! > > man, life SUCKS!!! I think this answers the OP nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2001, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/35 "2001-02-23T05:46:21Z")
all i know is that the nezt time i do _anything_, its gonna be jungle fuck a gogo style. word. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2001, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/36 "2001-02-23T09:16:03Z")
A typical day for me, a crazed 22 year old, female, shy misfit! 9am come home and feed the pets 9:15 --clean litterbox and take out garbage 9:30-- change clothes and do laundry 10 am --Fire up computer, feed self Noon, go to bed 4pm wake up, pack lunch, eat supper 6pm shower and then sleep 10:30 pm leave for work Or,more often, I will just come home @ 9 am, change clothes and fall into bed. Then wake up at 1:30, feed the pets, and take trash out. Then I go online for a bit and log off @ 3pm so the PhonePrincess can use the GrandCordless nad the ImperialBeeper! And then this is my other time frame: 3pm wake up, finish laundry, pack lunch, eat supper 5pm shower and then sleep 10:30 pm leave for work ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2001, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/37 "2001-02-23T13:12:26Z")
some days I have the opportunity to have sex but I would much rather just jerk off at home, you know? ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/38 "2001-02-23T18:32:37Z")
It’s much, much less complicated that way, you know? ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/39 "2001-02-23T18:53:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rq120 \* > **First of all, dogsbody I don’t even want to know what “pet rat” you play with. I am just hoping it is an actual pet and not something else.** Tsk. :rolleyes: _Of course_ it’s an actual pet. Eesh. If it were otherwise I’d be having sex, now wouldn’t I? (no gerbilling jokes, please. Yech.) I’d post a link to a photo to show him to everybody, but my digital camera won’t work with my OS. Oh, and all of you jerking off? You’re having **some** form of sex, now aren’t you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140/40 "2001-02-23T21:18:47Z")
> [@](#): > > “I could never say something like that in a public forum!” I concur. I have seen individuals post details of their personal lives that would border on exhibitionism in public, and would be highly embarassing to admit to anyone outside of these fora. While I find such posts to be entertaining, I myself feel constrained to comporting myself with the utmost dignity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-not-having-any-form-of-sex-whatsoever/50140.md?page=3)