# So I was sucking my husband's dick... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838 "2001-01-13T08:21:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Gambit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gambit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gambit)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/101 "2001-01-21T08:21:48Z")
First, a historical note. I have been the victim of seven years of bad head. Although the number of women I’ve been with is small, NONE of them knew what they were doing. Most could not take instruction. All had serious dental issues to deal with. My penis is a sad, sad organ… Whoever is lucky enough to get decent head from their SO should be grateful. As a general aside, what’s the hang-up about a musky chick? I find that there’s nothing more enticing than the smell of a woman after she’s worked out. I’m not talking about genuinely foul odors, like aged cheese and whatnot, but just slight ones. ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/102 "2001-01-22T21:26:05Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mx-6_ \* > \*\*Melpomene"Oh, and yes, I know HJs aren’t the same as BJs, but at least you don’t expend any energy like in sex. You’re still just lying there!" > > Are you kidding? 😕 > > I would rather assume this than believe that you must be excessively lethargic. > > Is the use of any energy really the deciding factor between whether you give head or do the jerk? 😕\*\* Actually, the “you” I was referring to, was the MALE. THE MAN DOES NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BUT LIE THERE! I’m willing to bet that the guys who make such a big deal about BJs being the be-all-and-end-all to sexual importance, are the same ones who are lousy at sex. They’re too fucking lazy to do anything else but be waited on by their subservient wives. Those guys whose partners do so by choice, because they enjoy it…they are lucky men and damn well better show that other person some appreciation and gratitude. > [@](#): > > \*\*I didn’t know that doing the right thing was such a chore! No guy prefers a handjob and there is nothing wrong with saying ducklips. \*\* “No guy prefers a handjob”?? Yeah, uhm okay. I see that you can obviously speak for all the guys I have ever been involved with. I’m sorry you haven’t been lucky enough to have a good one. If my SO had to choose between a shitty BJ that wasn’t finished off in my mouth or a caressing, massaging HJ…he goes for the HJ any day of the week. Overall though, we both prefer a good fuck or lovemaking session over any manual/oral stimulation. As for ducklips, I’m glad that you find it so hilarious. A woman who doesn’t feel she is appreciated for putting her mouth to your dick is NOT going to see ANY humor in someone calling her something like “ducklips”. So although there may be nothing wrong FOR YOU and YOUR SO with saying ducklips, there’s a lot of something wrong with it for others out there. > [@](#): > > \*\*My wife finds herself in a constant state of swolen lips. They’re sexy. She has them by choice though. She just can’t stop sucking my dick. :D:D \*\* Well aren’t you just the gloating-cream-o-the-crop for having such a tasty dick? Get off your high horse already. Its too bad your wife sees your penis as only being good enough to be a lollipop. In fact, its too bad that’s all your dick is apparently good for! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Testy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@Testy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Testy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/103 "2001-01-23T12:19:51Z")
A small child asked her mother about “The Facts of Life.” and was given the usual information in the clinical terms parents use at such times. Small girls thinks briefly, “Well, if putting a penis in a vagina gives you babies, what does putting it in your MOUTH give you? I saw you doing that with dad last night!” The embarassed (but honest) mom told her, “Jewelry, Dear.” Seriously though, a woman who enjoys giving head and doesn’t treat semen like it was white arsenic is a jewel to be treasured! All the best. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/104 "2001-01-23T13:57:15Z")
How can anyone NOT like giving head? I can do it for hours, going all the down and tickling the head with my throat muscles while my tongue caresses the shaft. I think that I get as much pleasure from giving oral sex as my partner does from receiving it. There is something so intoxicating about the smell of an active, freshly showered man’s groin and knowing that I’m giving my man a good time. My current guy and I are both HIV negative and monogamous. After we get our next tests back in a few months, I’ll be free to swallow his load, something I look forward to doing. How can women not totally dig the salty taste of a man’s semen? ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/105 "2001-01-23T20:15:54Z")
Hey **goboy**! You really like sucking dick and you’re good at it. You really like giving blowjobs and you dig swallowing. You really like sucking dick and you relish every second of it. We _GET_ it! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/106 "2001-01-23T20:26:34Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mx-6_ \* > **Sue reminds me of my Ex-wife. A BJ was never a problem. Sex was never a problem. She just had no clue about anything else that was required of her.** You sound like quite the “sexual intellectual”. You mean stellar BJ’s, a great sex life, a healthy sense of adventure, the mother of his child, maid, cook, laundress, friend and go-fer aren’t enough? Enlighten me, Sport…what am I missing? ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/107 "2001-01-23T22:07:22Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. > Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris. Not all women agree on this. This has been said a thousand times, probably in this thread alone, but don’t take “Tips for Good Sex” anywhere too seriously. If you’re not sure what to do, **ask**. Nobody knows what another person likes unless they are told. –John ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/108 "2001-01-24T14:10:10Z")
> [@](#): > > The embarassed (but honest) mom told her, “Jewelry, Dear.” Zette looks at the emerald ring she got for Christmas…and the several diamond rings she’s recieved for birthdays, anniversarys, etc. Oh, and the diamond earrings she got last year. DAMN I must be good!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Zette ---
**Author:** ![mx-6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4da419/32.png) [@mx-6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mx-6)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/109 "2001-01-25T04:00:19Z")
“You mean stellar BJ’s, a great sex life, a healthy sense of adventure, the mother of his child, maid, cook, laundress, friend and go-fer aren’t enough?” Interesting remark. I wasn’t talking about you. I meant that my ex was less than adequate out of bed. Sorry that you had to get all stirred up aout that. If you are a great wife then your husband should be happy. Who could ask for more than Sue??? Melpomene:“Well aren’t you just the gloating-cream-o-the-crop for having such a tasty dick? Get off your high horse already. Its too bad your wife sees your penis as only being good enough to be a lollipop. In fact, its too bad that’s all your dick is apparently good for!” I never said that sucking was all that she did. I just stated that she loves to do it. Ducklips is not a slur or anything. I thought that women think that having swolen lips is funny. At least that has been my experience. My thing is that it is so much fun making her come during sex. I hold off on my own orgasm for a very long time because she just doesn’t stop getting off. It’s pretty funny. But I guess that most of the women here are too serious to find humor in sex. :eek: Too bad that us guys can’t have 20 orgasms in 10 minutes. That would be awesome. Is this even possible??? ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/110 "2001-01-25T07:12:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mx-6_ \* > Interesting remark. I wasn’t talking about you. I meant that my ex was less than adequate out of bed. How were you not talking about me? You said, > [@](#): > > Sue reminds me of my Ex-wife. then proceeded to insult her. I understand the need to insult exes, just don’t compare other people to them…m’kay? You get bonus points for sucking up though. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mx-6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4da419/32.png) [@mx-6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mx-6)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/111 "2001-01-25T07:45:28Z")
Sue:“then proceeded to insult her.” You are way too serious. What I said was really an insult to my ex? How? It’s a fact. We had two kids and I have custody of both of them because the court saw that she was negligent. Was I really that harsh? I’m sorry if I implied that not all women are as perfect as Sue but it is the truth so stop being so defensive. Geez. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/112 "2001-01-25T08:14:25Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Gambit** _ > > I have been the victim of seven years of bad head. Although the number of women I’ve been with is small, NONE of them knew what they were doing… Whoever is lucky enough to get decent head from their SO should be grateful. Funny, gay men don’t have this problem - we already know what pleases us. What lucky, lucky men we are. 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/113 "2001-01-25T08:19:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gambit \* > **First, a historical note. I have been the victim of seven years of bad head.** Ok. I read that about 3 times, and every time, saw **bed** head. I was like “and this has to do with your cock… how?” Heehee… oy. ---
**Author:** ![Melpomene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/0ea827/32.png) [@Melpomene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melpomene)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/114 "2001-01-25T19:45:57Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mx-6_ \* > \*\*I never said that sucking was all that she did. I just stated that she loves to do it. Ducklips is not a slur or anything. I thought that women think that having swolen lips is funny. At least that has been my experience. > \*\* And somehow your experience dictates what the rest of the women in this world are like? Sorry, but I’ve known, met, spoken with, read about an equal amount of women on BOTH sides of the camp… those who do enjoy giving head and those who don’t. Those who are good at it and those who are not. Some women would find it funny to be called “ducklips” but many would not find it funny at all. At the same time, I’ve never met a woman (until a couple posted here in this thread) that thought swollen lips were funny. \*\* > [@](#): > > My thing is that it is so much fun making her come during sex. I hold off on my own orgasm for a very long time because she just doesn’t stop getting off\*\* Really?! Wow, my SO is the SAME way and I don’t even have to give him head to convince him I’m worthy of this kind of positive sexual attention! \*\* [/QUOTE] It’s pretty funny. But I guess that most of the women here are too serious to find humor in sex. :eek:\*\* [/QUOTE] :rolleyes: Oh god, give me a break. Just because the majority of them find ONE thing un-funny, suddenly they’re all too serious to find humor in sex?? That’s hysterical to me. It also completely supports your self-image of being a hypocritical ignoramus who bases his assumptions about all women solely on his own experiences (which are probably highly limited, given his attitude). _NO_ sense of humour about sex? My SO’s sexually-humorous nickname for me is “Cumdumpster”. Personally, I get a kick out of this…I think its silly and funny. However, I am not as naive and assuming as you appear to be and there is ZERO part of me that would assume all other women would find that sort of comment just as funny as I do. Also, if he dared call me this RIGHT AFTER sex, I would probably slap him. Like I said, get off your high-horse already. Sue, I admire your ability to give this guy a positive word. I, too, saw the insulting connection between the completely implied and supported statement of “my ex didn’t know her place outside the bedroom, just like Sue doesn’t, either”. Ugh. It makes me sick to know there are idiots like this guy out there. ---
**Author:** ![CastleAnthrax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@CastleAnthrax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CastleAnthrax)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/115 "2003-04-03T00:25:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*I, for one, LOVE giving guys head, and am extremely good at it. To keep myself HIV-, I don’t swallow during casual encounters, \*\* That won’t make a difefrence. If you have a cut in your mouth, gums that bleed when brushed, chapped lips, or anything like these, having seminal fluid in your mouth is an invitation to blood-borne dieases. Not to mention things like herpes, warts, syphilis, and other fun stuff, some of which has no symptoms in women, just quietly makes you sterile or worse. Use a rubber. Spread some grape jelly on it if the taste bugs you- it does me! But be safe. HennaDancer ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/116 "2003-04-03T00:34:32Z")
what is their a run on these threads? ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/117 "2003-04-03T00:36:42Z")
The post you’re quoting was written on 1-13-2001, and your point was posted the very next post. Also, I doubt **gobear** worries about becoming a sterile female. So was there any point to posting to this thread, or did you just want it to get locked up like its sister thread did? ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/118 "2003-04-03T00:41:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wikkit \* > \*\*Also, I doubt **gobear** worries about becoming a sterile female. \*\* Hehe. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/119 "2003-04-03T00:47:39Z")
Ah, but once my secret project is complete and the satelite is put into orbit, THEN he’ll have cause to worry about it! ---
**Author:** ![Sue\_Duhnym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@Sue\_Duhnym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sue_Duhnym)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838/120 "2003-04-03T01:07:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HennaDancer \* > Use a rubber. Spread some grape jelly on it if the taste bugs you- it does me! But be safe. My two-year-old rant is going to be turned into a safe sex thread at last! All my wishes and dreams have come true! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-was-sucking-my-husbands-dick/49838.md?page=7)